Radames and Wynne's Adoption Adventures

2010-09-12T01:21:00.001-04:00

Check out Addison in his new Hugh Hefner-esque kung fu outfit Radames brough him back from China! So hilarious!

One Year Ago Today

2010-08-31T14:46:00.002-04:00

On August 31, 2009 we met Addison for the first time. Today, it's so hard to believe, but it's been one whole year! Happy "gotcha" (although I hate, bc he's not a loaf of bread), "forever", "union", "family", etc. day...or whatever we'll end up calling it. We love you, buddy! And, oh, how time plays tricks on your mind. How crazy is it that we can't even remember what life was like with you!? :)

Addison Starts "School"

2010-02-20T13:32:00.002-05:00

This week, Addison started "school." It's the same day care/pre-school Ella went to, so we're really happy. We put him on the waiting list a few weeks ago in hopes that 6 months or so from now, they'd have a spot. But we got the call last week that someone was moving and he could start on Monday. So, on Thursday, February 18th, he went with daddy to the Child Study Center for 1 whole hour. So adorable. I'll uplaod pix later of him from his first day of "school." He's SO ready. It'll be great for him to be around other kids and not be bored here all day while he watches Radames do dishes or laundry and listen to Howard Stern. Yikes! :)

He goes again this week for little 1 and 2 hour clips, and then Radames will probably start to leave him for 3-4 hours a day just so he can get some things done and we don't have to continue to watch our home crumble down around us (not really, but sometimes it feels like it! Today I just found a whole clementine under the kitchen counter! Who knows how long it's been there!).

Addison and Ella are Doing Really Well

2010-01-15T23:19:00.003-05:00

Addison turned 15 months on the 12th (of Jan) and things are going really well these days. Going to NYC for two weeks was great for Addison, b/c he got hooked on Radames' dad and he got to be "passed around" to lots of relatives. He spent a lot of time playing with his cousins and watching us come and go. He's doing such a much better job with his attachment issues. He used to be glued to Radames in a debilitating (for Radames) way, but now he's just walking around, chillin', going to others, etc. It's SO much nicer now. It's been a LONG four months.

Ella is also doing better with her jealousy issues. Now we don't feel scared to leave two of them alone in the same room for 30 seconds for fear that she'll "accidentally" drown or smother him. :) She still has little sad spells here and there, but her sleeping is getting back to normal and she's been a lot less likely to act out for attention. She seems to just be settling into him being her little bro.

And did I mention how friggin' adorable Addison is getting!? I accidentally shaved all of his hair off when i bought some clippers to give him a trim before our trip (on a sunday when the barber shop was closed). It actually looks pretty cute really short, bc you just focus on his big eyes and long eye lashes and his big white grin. Here's a few recent pics without the hair. :)

Addison's First Christmas

2009-12-25T23:50:00.000-05:00

Welp, we had our first Christmas today as a family of four. I was a really nice year with a few different Christmas get togethers, and we'll be leaving to go to NYC on Monday to celebrate with Radames' family and a bunch of our friends.

Ella was way more into the big day than Addison, but I think that's to be expected. She got so much stuff that she went ga ga for, but Addison pretty much tried to eat wrapping paper, walked around in circles tripping on empty boxes, chased the dog and tried to eat our cell phones, as always. He was pretty oblivious to the big day, but it was still a great treat to know that we got to share in his first Christmas....finally. :)

We'll upload more pix soon. Hope you all had great holidays. Happy early New Year. :)

The Re-Adoption is Complete!

2009-12-14T17:53:00.003-05:00

So, we had our time with the judge this morning and he made us raise our right hands and swear that it was true that little Addison is now ours. :) He's now officially Addison Miles Tyree-Rodriguez and no longer Eyob Radames Rodriguez, and now he's an internationally born resident of the state of Tennessee. Woo hoo!

The judge was very sweet and made us take pictures with him. We met back in his cheesy conference room that smelled like vanilla and had ugly posters in frames, but he couldn't have been nicer. He said that of all the nonsense he'll hear the rest of the day, he'll go home feeling great about his job because of little Addison. He carried Addison all around the room, spent time just chumming it up with us and was sincerely moved by his story. All in all, it was a smooth process, and our lawyer was competent and everything. :)

We're confused now about all the gazillions of papers we now have to file to get him a US birth certificate, SS card, etc., but one day at a time. We're still just trying to keep our heads above water b/c he's so demanding and exhausting. He couldn't be sweeter, but he's a LOT of work.

One major milestone reached for December 14th, 2009. Little Addison legally became our son according to US law! :) Finally!

Two and half month personal progress report

2009-11-19T11:38:00.000-05:00

Hi, friends,

It’s hard to believe, but Addison has been home with us for 2 ½ months already! We’ve been total slackers about sending out updates, because:
· We’ve been focused on bottles, naptime, bedtimes, baths, feedings, shuttling ella around and getting into a routine
· I’ve been back at work for a while, so during my non-work time I just want to be with the kids
· Holy shit! No one warned us that having two kids would be so overwhelming!

So, we thought it was time to say hi to everyone and to let you know how things are going.

· First and foremost, Addison is happy and healthy and a great kid. The poor guy has been poked and prodded so many times and checked for everything imaginable, and he’s 100% healthy and on track, even by US standards. He weighs 23 lbs and is 29” tall (at 13 months).

· Addison is 100% attached to Radames like you wouldn’t believe. Radames just walks around all day with him on his hip, and then Addison screams bloody murder when he puts him down. Ah, good times. [insert sarcasm]. He definitely knows we’re his parents, but he’s so much more connected with Radames, which is understandable since they are together from 6am until 8pm every day. It sounds weird to say, but we don’t even remember that he’s adopted. He’s just our son, and it feels like he’s always been with us. The adoption seems like a foggy memory from SO long ago.

· Radames has turned into a crazy housewife who complains about dishes and me “messing with his routine”. I think he’s losing his mind, b/c he’s being the best, overachieving parent you could ever imagine. The other day, he went to his man-cave in the basement and watched an entire football game. He emerged elated and claiming that he felt like he’d grown a few new hairs on his chest. (Needless to say, we’re working on him giving himself permission to relax and be a man again!)

· Ella is 100% attached to me in a way she never has been before. Thank goodness we can divide and conquer, but she is SO exhausting. Addison has been a really tough transition for her, b/c she’s so jealous of the attention she now has to share. If I kiss Addison, I have to kiss her twice. If he’s on my lap, she wants to be on my lap. When he gets out of his highchair, she wants to sit there, when I put Addison down she wants to sit in the room in the corner in the dark and watch me rock him to sleep (like a creepy horror movie). She’s starting to loosen up a bit, but the first month or two were pretty unbearable, b/c SHE was so needy, not Addison. It’s getting better though.

· We had his 1 year birthday in NYC on October 12th. We were there to see Radames’ family and go to a wedding, so we got to have a quiet celebration with a few cupcakes and hugs with family. [Note to self: don’t ever drive from TN to Brooklyn with two kids in the backseat again!]

· When we were in ny/ct, we got to see a lot of friends and let Addison do a bit of road show. He got to hang out in the burbs of CT, meet all of his extended Brooklyn family, see people who felt like they knew him already through pics, and eat lots of Spanish food. J It was so nice to see everyone; we can’t wait to go back to see everyone we didn’t get to connect with.

· We just had his 3 month (yikes!) check-in with our social worker who has to send reports back to Ethiopia at 3, 6, 9 and 12 months and every year until he’s 18. I think we “passed” our first check-in. It was really funny because we met her at a Cracker Barrel on the side of the road near Knoxville. As we pulled in, I couldn’t help but think, “little did this kid know he’d leave Ethiopia and end up at a Cracker Barrel in Tennessee!” It was a really funny meeting, complete with Radames sucking on some country ham while I tried to spare the official paperwork from getting country gravy on it. :)

· Addison had his first Halloween; he was Robin. Ella was Batgirl, and they were too cute. there’s a good pic of them attached.

· We are finally meeting with an attorney tomorrow who is helping us with the re-adoption process. Addison is a legal, permanent resident, but he’s not officially a US citizen until we “re-adopt” him via the US courts. That way he can get a US birth certificate, SS number, etc. We aren’t looking forward to all the paperwork and drama again, but we’ve been procrastinating long enough and need to get it done. Next thing you know, he’ll be officially Addison Miles Tyree-Rodriguez. (Now, he’s still legally Eyob Radames Rodriguez.)

· Addison took his first steps on Tuesday evening (Nov. 17th). He’s been teetering and standing, but he finally took his first drunk ol’ man steps across Ella’s bedroom floor. And we got it on video, so we’ll hopefully upload that to our blog soon.

So…we’re here. We’re alive. We’re trapped and will never leave the house again after 7pm, but we’re happy to be a family of four. :)

PS. THANKS so much for the visits, calls, cards and gifts! We are SO behind on the thank you cards, but I promise we’ll get them all out soon.

Addison Took His First Steps

2009-11-17T23:35:00.000-05:00

On Tuesday, Nov. 17th, 2009 (at 13 mo. + 5 days, I guess it would be), Addison finally migrated from his imbalanced stance into a 3-step, drunken old man stupor across Ella's bedroom. He did it several times, and he's been off to the races ever since. Exciting and scarey all at the same time.

Off to See the Social Worker

2009-11-06T23:38:00.002-05:00

So, tomorrow we are headed to Knoxville to meet up with our social worker. It's hard to believe, but it's time for her to write up our 3 month "progress report" that we have to send back to Ethiopia. We have to do one at 3 mo, 6 mo, 9 mo, and then every year until he's 18! And I just can't believe he's already been with us over 2 months and it's time to write up our first one. Where did the time go!?

In many ways it feels like Addison just got here, b/c he's still just such a peanut. But in other ways, I can't ever remember our life without him. He's definitely our son, and, honestly, I rarely even remember or think about the fact that we adopted him. It just feels like he's always been with us. I can barely even remember going to Ethiopia. It feels like such a foggy dream, and I have to remind myself that it really did happen.

We also finally made an appointment with an attorney for the week after next. He'll be helping us do our TN re-adoption. Addison is legally ours, but his adoption isn't official in our home state (e.g. no US birth certificate, SS card, etc. can be issued) until we re-adopt him in TN. I ventured out the county courthouse last week to pick up petition filing paperwork, and needless to say, that was a futile exercise. I can understand why people would go postal. I was ready to "go legal" after 15 minutes of dealing with Betty and her idiotic co-workers who had no clue in hell what I was talking about and how to be of any help. Even after being re-directed to the "new courthouse where all the fancy offices are", I still ran into nothing but roadblocks as the nasty bi-otches at every counter were like, "honey, I have no idear whatch you'ra talkin' 'bout." I lef there thinking, "Why!? Why!? Why, Wynne, did you even come here!? Why would you waste 1 minute of your work day trying to deal with this?" We're excited for our lawyer's meeting is all I'll say. He was referred to us by our pediatrician who has an internationally adopted daughter, and from what I understand he's even done Ethiopian readoptions. Fingers and toes crossed.

Every thing is going well with the fam. Addison had his (belated) 1 yr check-up this week, so we had to hold him down while they drew even more blood from him poor little arm. Ugh. I hate that more than anything. I just want to burst into tears. They also gave him four shots in his chubby little thighs. :( And I'm not a big vaccine fan, but I just sucked it up knowing it was best for him. :( I hope we don't have to go for a long time. It's just so unbearable every time we're there, b/c he's getting 3 different types of HIV tests, 4 types of Hep A, B, and C tests, checking his titers to see what vaccines "took" and which didn't (so we don't over-immunize him), etc. I hate it, because he hates it.

Ella is doing a lot better with him now. She is acting a little less jealous and getting in the groove of him just being her little brother. She was driving us crazy for a while, but things are calming down now. Radames has this place on 100% lock-down. He's running the house like a military camp. 6am up, 6:30 feeding, 9:00am nap, 11:30 up, noon feeding, 3:30 nap, 6pm feeding, 7:30 bath, 7:45 bottle, 8:00 in crib asleep. He does NOT like his schedule being deviated from in any way. And he pretty much won't let anyone do anything for him. He is in "I've-got-this" mode, and I'm clearly the window dressing. I'm pretty much taking care of Ella as much as I can, so he's not too overwhelmed, but every time I try to take care of both of them he freaks out and tells me he's got it.

I actually had to tell him the other day that he needed to lighten up (imagine me telling Radames to lighten up!), because he's being super hard on himself and uber martyr-like about the chid rearing. I've been working a ton these past few weeks since I've been back at work, and his feeling is "you take care of the business; I'll take care of the family b/c that's my job." How could I ever begin to have to have a problem with that, b/c what woman in the world is so lucky, but...jeez, he's gotta give himself some respite. He needs to call a friend, go to a game, go play some music in the DJ room, something...he's turning into a crazy stay-at-home mom who complains that the bottles aren't in order and that Ella is in bed 5 minutes late. And he's actually quite miserable, b/c he isn't getting his fuel. Work is my fuel, b/c I love what I do and I get to do it with friends all day, but music, movies, friends and sports and solitude are his fuel, and he hasn't been getting any of it. And since we live in a place where none of his close friends live, and it's not a walking city, he's cooped up like a crazy housewife from the 'burbs that's going crazy and complaining about how she can't remember things and how she feels alone.

We're working on it. I've been forcing him to leave us alone and let me do my other job (or being a mom!), just so that he'll go in the basement and watch a game or something. We'll get it worked out. He has to just let go after 5pm; and I've gotta push him outta the mix more often.

Oh, totally random, but if I owe any of you a thank-you card for goodies you've mailed us, I'M SO SORRY. I promise it's on it's way. I've just been swamped at work, and traveling, and then spending every spare minute I can with the kids (did i just say "kids"?!), so I've been writing like 1 per week. We've gotten everything, and are SO thankful. Sorry we've been so rude about that. Well, that I've been so rude about that. Radames isn't really the card-writing type. And he totally get a pass on this one. :)

Halloween Superheroes

2009-10-31T00:18:00.002-04:00

So Ella was Batgirl today and Addison was her adorable little sidekick, Robin. We did a little community trick-or-treating, and it was so fun to get them all dressed up for the first time. We'll upload some pix asap. I'm sure we'll take 1,000 more pix tomorrow on Halloween. :)

Yes, we're alive

2009-10-20T02:58:00.003-04:00

It's been forever since we've posted, but it's been a function of 1. Holy shit! This two kids thing is NO joke! 2. Ella was on fall break for two weeks, so we went to NYC on "vacation" and 3. I've started back to work and haven't had time to update the blog.

We took Addison swimming for the first time while we were DRIVING up to New York. It was so adorable. I'll try to upload a picture soon. He was so excited...well until I accidentally put his head under water while I was spinning him around in circles and he coughed so badly that he threw up in the pool! Needless to say, we did a casual exit from the pool at that point. :)

Everything is going great, though. Addison turned 1 on the 12th. :) So hard to believe. And Ella is doing a way better job with him and with the fact that he's here to stay. It's just been such a major adjustment for her and we've had to give her lots of TLC.

Radames is being a single dad of two now while I'm at a conference in Vegas this week, so I can only imagine how he's holding up. He's just so amazing, and I'm so fortunate that he's my husband. He holds us all together and never bats a lash. I have no clue how I would be doing this without him these days.

We've Made It Through Another Week

2009-09-25T21:40:00.003-04:00

Wow. This new life is demanding. Hats off to people with more than one child! One seems SO easy now. And life pre-kids seems like such a foggy memory. Are we really the parents of two kids? How did all of this grown-up stuff happen? Aren't we still 25?

Ella is settling into a groove and gettig less jealous this week, so that is good, but Addison has had a fever for the last 2-3 days, so our house has been a wreck! He isn't sleeping through the night anymore, so that is messing up Radames and me big time. Yesterday was not a good day at the Tyree-Rodriguez hosehold, to say the least. Ella went on a very long playdate after school, just so that we could catch our breath and not make her have to have a miserable day, too. (Thank you, Polly, for taking care of Ella on Thurs! You have no idea!) Radames ad I took naps in shifts after being up all night, and I pretty much barked at everyone who came within my path. Poor Addison cried almost all day long and couldn't sleep, so Radames took him to the doctor while I took my fat ass to bed...for the good of all mankind. Today we found out he has a urinary tract infection. :( We feel SO bad for him. He got some Septra this afternoon, so hopefully he'll be able to get some more sleep tonight. I don't know if poor Radames could make it if he doesn't, since he volunteered to do last night b/c I did the night before.

Tonight we all got dressed and went to dinner with friends. It was a big deal for us, since we are homebound these days like we are on house arrest. We decided to call friends and ask them to join us, since it was one of the first times we'd all been showered and out on the same day. :) We had a great time. Lots of food and funny stories while the kids entertained one another. It was just so nice to veg out for a little while, let Radames drink and beer and let me gossip with a grown up. We stuffed ourselves silly, then piled in the car to come home and raved about how we had so much fun as we drove home. Then we looked down at the clock and realized it was 7:58!! And our night was over! Gosh, how times have changed! Did we really just have a rockin' night that ended before the time we would even left the house in old days!?

We ARE alive

2009-09-21T22:30:00.003-04:00

Sorry it's been so long since we've posted. We are alive. :) But we are in over our heads over here. This two kids things is a whole hell of a lot of work, so we've just been hibernating, doing what's necessary, bonding, satisfying (what feels like 20) kids who want attention and just enjoying the time off of work.

Addison is doing great. He sleeps 11 hours a night, then takes two naps a day... and is completely on Eastern time. He eats like a champion and is just such a smiley, happy-go-lucky kid. He's TOTALLY hooked on Radames, which is just so amazing to see. He grabs Radames' neck when anyone comes around, and he even looks to Radames for approval when he comes to me. It's just so beautiful to see these two adorable guys so connected so soon. Radames walks around with him on his hip all day long like a girl from around the way (insert LL Cool J lyrical flashback). And then at night time, Addison wants nothing to do with me. He just wants Radames to put him down. The other night when I sat and rocked him in the dark like I used to do for Ella, it was so hard to watch him wiggle and worm around twisting his neck to the door, just waiting for Radames to come in...so completely disinterested in me and so in need of his daddy to shhh shhh shhh him to sleep. It's taken me a few days to realize that in this process I can't have an ego. If that's what Addison wants and needs; then that's what Addison is going to get. It would be pretty unfair to make him the slightest bit uncomfortable after everything he's been through so that we could go half-sies on the childrearing so that I don't feel left out. And knowing that I'll be going back to work soon anyway, it probably is best that he's latched onto Radames if he needed to pick one of us to bond with more quickly.

The opposite is going on with Ella. She is in full-on give me my mommy every minute of the day! Overall, she's doing a great job of being sweet and helpful and playful, but she is clearly adjusting and trying to deal with the fact that daddy and (mostly) mommy are giving their attention to someone else, too. She now wants me to wake her up, put her to bed, snuggle with her in bed, read her more stories, take her to karate, come to her snacktime at school, pack her lunch, etc. But, again, if that's what she needs right now, then so be it. It's meant that we are settling (at least for the next week or so) into a Radames-is-primarily-in-charge-of-Addison- while-Wynne-is-primarily-in-charge-of-Ella groove. According to our new family spreadsheet (insert laughter), we try to flip it each day, but by the end of the day, the two little ones end up defaulting back to whom they are digging most right now.

So, all in all, things are going really well. We're trying to get a system down pat and trying to keep our heads above water. Every minute is a bottle, cereal, making baby food, doing dishes, doing laundry, take a work call, Ella's lunch needing to be packed, going to the store for random things, dropping Ella off, picking her up, reading stories, changing diapers, practicing words of the day, going to karate, more laundry, helping Ella perfect her post-#2 wiping skills, and on and on and on. How single women (or men) do this, I have NO idea. It's taking every hour for both Radames and me to do it.

But we wouldn't change it for the world. This is exactly what we wanted, and we would definitely deserve to burn in hell if we even began to complain about anything in our lives at this point. We are so truly blessed in so many ways. I love Radames and Ella and Addison so much, and I just couldn't ask for a sweeter, more comfortable life.

One week and counting

2009-09-14T01:36:00.002-04:00

Addison is doing such a great job. He's been with us in TN for a week now, and it feels like he's always been here. He sleeps and eats like a champ, and we're all starting to get into a groove. Sorry we've been quiet, but no news is good news these days. :) Just enjoying our new family and learning to juggle like never before. We did get our photo montage done, though. Enjoy!

Getting Acclimated

2009-09-10T10:15:00.002-04:00

Hey, friends and family. Sorry we've been so remiss in posting, but this "new job" is no joke! Boy, do we have a whole new respect for anyone with more than one kid! Our lives have been nothing but wake-ups, bedtimes, feedings, changings, nap times, laundry, bottles, cereal, babyfood, jet lag, and sneaking a shower with regard to Addison and cooking, packing lunches, wake-ups, bedtimes, stories, "homework", karate, participating in the school fund raisers, fending off jealousy urges, and making playdates with regard to Ella. This makes having one child seem like a cake walk! Jeez. This life is no joke!

Yesterday, Radames had a meltdown because I wanted to drive Ella to school and he thought he was driving her and it "threw off his whole morning", to use his words. We ended up having to sit down and create a giant spreadsheet that has every 30 minute interval of the day planned out with who is doing what! We realized that we either need to run this place like a ship or we're gonna sink! There's just so much to do!! How do people do this!?? We're just "learning" basic things like okay-we-must-have-the-diaper-bag-prepacked-at-all-times-because-it's-taking-us-two-hours-to-leave-the-house and the we-must-have-a-bedtime-rotation-schedule-because-we-can't-have-simultaneous-wake-ups-or-put downs. Our whole lives have been flipped upside down. But in an amazingly cute, bit if-I-weren't-married-to-Radames-I'd-have-no-idea-what-I'd-do kind of way. Our body clocks have completed shifted. We accomplish more before 8am than we used to before 8pm! You guys know me...I used to be in bed at 3am and up at 9am. Now i'm in bed by 9pm and awake at 5 or 6am. Ah, what a whole other world. I am one domestic diva these days.

Most importantly, Addison is doing SO well. He's so chipper and easy going. He's completely adjusted to the time difference and is now (like in Ethiopia) down by 8pm and up at 6am. Then he naps from 9-11am and again at around 3:30pm and does it all over again. He really doesn't even cry. He knows the system and just so chill about everything. He's definitely attached to us. When we put him down or give him to someone else, he freaks out, so that's a wonderful thing! He just smiles and babbles and crawls all around the house. He LOVES Brownie and the cats and basically keeps trying to eat them! He's definitely one of the gang. :)

Ella's being a great big sis. She loves with the feeding and diapering and is enjoying with his teacher on any and all matters. She's having a blast at kindergarten and is enjoying telling all of her teachers about her new baby brother from Africa.

More to come. But for now, we're a-okay. :) Thanks for all of your love and support! :)

The Eagles Have Landed

2009-09-06T08:22:00.003-04:00

We made it home! All in one piece...well, in three pieces. :) We landed on Saturday morning at 8:30ish. It was the longest 17 hour flight of our lives, but Addison was a true champ. He didn't cry one time on the plane! He's so easy-going and happy. He just giggles, squeaks like a dog's chew toy, smiles, eats, dumps and sleeps. :) Now that's a life.

When we touched down in DC we were totally elated. And then when we passed through immigration and then customs and walked through the exit doors, we just cried and held each other and couldn't have been more grateful. We took a cab to the Sheraton where our car was parked, took a long-overdue shower, fed Addison and made the 6.5 hr drive home. We almost drove off the road 5 times, bc neither one of us could keep our eyes open, but we did make it home alive. It was the longest 30-hr trip ever! (I don't want to see a plane again for a LONG time!)

We're all crazy jetlagged, but Addison made it all the way until 4am this morning, which is great considering that his biological bedtime is our 1pm until 11pm! Ella is thrilled to have him here and we're just having a relaxing first day together as a new family. The family is coming over today for a welcome home get-together that we were too exhausted to host yesterday, so that should be fun.

We'll update with pics and more details. Ella's waiting for me to send Polly Pocket down her waterslide now...

We're On Our Way Home!

2009-09-04T10:49:00.001-04:00

We made it! We passed through all of the embassy appointments yesterday and are now the proud holders of an adorable Ethiopian passport with the cutest mug shot ever! :) And we have his birth certificate that shows that WE are the parents of Eyob Radames Rodriguez aka Addison Miles Tyree-Rodriguez. We couldn't be happier!

We're headed out tonight at 10:15pm Ethiopian time (3pm eastern) and will land in DC at 7am tomorrow. Woo Hoo!

Everything is great!

2009-09-03T06:37:00.003-04:00

It's Thursday morning the 3rd, and today is our big appointment day at the embassy. At around 2:30, we'll go there with Addison and all of our paperwork and give an oath that yes, we are Radames and Wynne and that this is little Eyob Radames Rodriguez, and that we promise to take care of him forever. They'll examine all of our crazy paperwork (tax returns, immigration stuff from the US, adoption decree, etc.) and then, hopefully, say, "Congratulations." In some ways it's just a formality, because he's already legally ours, but this is the part where they finalize his passport, travel visa, birth certificates, etc. that allow us to leave the country. If all goes perfectly, they have all the final docs ready for us to pick-up at 4:00pm tomorrow...and our flight back home is at 10:00pm tomorrow night Needless to say, our stomachs are in knots. Bright side is that there is nothing they can do to take him away or stop the process. But they can delay us and make us have to stay here longer and redo things or jump through more hoops. Wish us luck today as we head to the embassy today and ideally spend 5 uneventful minutes giving them what they need so that we are just one day away from heading home!

Our time so far here has been pretty relaxing. After we caught up on sleep, we've felt pretty good. Unfortunately, our sleep pattern is now lights out at 10pm and up and at em at 6am. Which would be nice if we weren't 7 hours ahead! Our bedtimes in the US are now going to be 3pm! And Addison's is at 8pm, which will now be 1pm! Oh, good times. :) But we haven't gotten sick, the altitude isn't bothering us, no stomach "bugs", no dehydration, etc. And, most importantly, Addison is healthy as a horse and eating like a champion.

He's SO cute! He would eat anything you put in front of him, and then he just smiles and coos and shows his 7 teeth from ear to ear. Yes, he has 7 teeth! He's so funny, because he kind of looks like an old man, with a mustache and receding hairline, but then again he looks like a newborn. Radames thinks he kind of looks like Webster. Ha! Developmentally, it's kind of like he's 1 year old and a newborn at the same time. Physically, he's big (about 21 lbs.) and he has lots of hair and teeth, but he doesn't do a lot of the things that a 10.5 month old would do in the US. It's not comparable, of course, because he's been in an orphanage and then in the transition home, and pretty much hanging out in a crib his whole life, but just basic things that you'd expect a kid his size to do, he doesn't do. He doesn't even make an attempt to hold his own bottle, he doesn't really crawl, he doesn't reach his arms up for you to grab him, etc. He just kind of sits there and waits for us to do to him what ever we are going to do. And then he just clings onto our necks with the most amazing death grip. He sort of "climbs" up our chests, almost clawing into us with a very primal baby attaching to mommy way. And he doesn't want to let go. He just wants us to hold him and have his face buried in our chests. It's so sweet, and it's also so sad at the same time, bc it's clearly the first time he's truly attaching. We'll take it though. :) There are WAY worse "issues" to have. He just couldn't be more sweet. We have a lot of developmental stuff to catch up on, but who cares. We are just totally focused on the bonding process at this point, and letting him know that we'll never leave him.

The country itself has been quite fascinating. I'm not sure what we were expecting, but, honestly, the country is so unbelievably poor it's just beyond depressing. We've been to a lot of countries where there is poverty, and to plenty of 3rd world places, but this is like nothing we've ever seen. It's not place where there are "the haves" and the "have nots". Everyone is a "have not", and even the few "haves" live by such a different standard. Honestly, the poverty and dispair is just so striking. Literally, there is nothing. An entire city (and this is "the city", the place where life is way better for most) full of starvation. No industry, very little modernity, no signs of progress, no new construction, no western influence (which doesn't mean "progress" necessarily, but there's no foreign money coming in), no clean water, no food, raw sewage running down the street, unpaved roads that have rocks and pot holes about 3 feet deep, thousands of children (and adults) on the streets begging...and on and on. The diesel fuel from all of the dilapidated cars and busses is nauseating. There are cows and goats and dogs and cats walking around all over town. Roosters crowing, dogs howling, kids begging, plastic tarps attached to four sticks as houses, people lying on the streets as if they are dead...face down, covered in dirt and mud, not moving a muscle. I thought that i had seen a dead person on the first day, and i freaked out as we were driving. And then i saw the next one and the next one and the next one. And i realized, they were just sleeping, i guess. But not in a NYC homeless sort of way, in an i have nothing and i'll collapse right here on this rock sort of way. It's so cliche, and nothing i ever thought i'd say, but it's one giant Save the Children commercial. Where you see the poverty and you think, "there's no way," but it's really true. And you can't turn off the tv, bc you're there.

I wanted so badly to come and see an amazing country full of history and culture and to come back and so full of stories and anecdotes that would debunk our western myths about Africa...or at least Ethiopia. I wanted to be able to tell Addison how amazing his country is/was and how he has so much to be proud of. But we aren't there yet. Maybe once we've had time to process it all and get some distance, we'll have a little more perspective, but for now the tales aren't there. The people are AMAZING. So nice and so gracious and so humble, and everyone has taken amazing care of us. And we have seen a few cool things (yesterday we went to the ethnic museum to understand the history of the country and the people a bit more), but the poverty and hopelessness is just so striking that it's hard to notice the positives. We (well, I) just sit around thinking about how i can overhaul the government and the economy (while Rademes drinks beer and hams it up with the other families). :) What do you do where the gov't controls everything and the leaders live in a giant palace when everyone else starves to death around the gates? What do you do when there's no export...no import...no natural resources...no foreign investment...no commerce...nothing... It's just too much to wrap your head around.

Ugh. Now i'm being debbie downer. The most important thing is that we're happy as can be, Addison is ours, and that we'll be home soon. :) Wish us luck today. We'll keep you posted the next time we can log on.

Ciao! (as the locals say, bc they were under Italian occupation for a while in the '30s and 40s)

We're Here!

2009-09-01T07:09:00.002-04:00

We made it! They let Radames through, and he's not in Dubai right now after all. We met Addison yesterday and could not stop crying. He's such an adorable little munchkin. Within five minutes of meeting us, he just smushed his face into my chest and feel fast asleep on his new "cushions" for half an hour. He hasn't missed a beat since. He's eating like a champion, happy as can be, and is adjusting so well. He's on a hard core schedule, so as long as we keep him on that schedule, he's good to go. He slept from 8:30 to 6:30 last night, just like they said he would. (Only "problem" is that that's our 1:30pm to 11:30pm eastern! Yikes! We're going to have some serious time adjusting to do.)

Radames and I haven't slept in a few days, but who cares. We missed the night's sleep coming here, bc we arrived at midnight eastern, but it was 8am here, so yesterday was an incredibly hard day. But we made it and he's ours! And today is our anniversary (8 years!) and we couldn't dream of being in a more "glamorous" place. :)

We'll update when we can, but we're on dial up, so no pix yet.

Woo hoo! We made it. He's ours. He's beautiful, happy and has 7 teeth!!!! (but he's clearly a baby, though. We were scared he was going to be like 3 years old :), but he's definitely a little peanut.)

There WILL Be A Dominican in Ethiopia!

2009-08-30T08:42:00.005-04:00

It is 8:35AM and this is Radames writing. Yes, after all of the stuff and obstacles that Wynne wrote about me not going to ET in her previous post, I am next to my wife and sitting in the United lounge having coffee as I write this. We had a restless night of sleep because we did not know what to expect this morning. Was I going to get through? If I did, would I get on the plane? Question after question popped in to our heads as we tried to figure out what we were going to do while driving up to Dulles from TN. Due to Wynne not getting any sleep, she got up in the middle of the night and e-mailed our travel agents who had not reached out to us after us trying to get in contact with them all of Saturday. After Wynne's e-mail, she called at around 4:30AM. Wynne told her the situation and she immediately had me ready to jump on another flight from JFK tomorrow night due to the fact that I was going to be there trying to get my passport renewed in one day. We got up at 6AM and we felt pretty good about what was going to happen. Either we were going together or we were going seperately. We were ready for anything.

Our agency director then called and informed Wynne that she had spoken to our in country rep and he told her that he had never heard of such a thing as a 6 month rule regarding passports and visas. He then placed a call to his friend, who by the way is the head of visa officers in the airport, and he told him that as long as a passport is valid, I would be good to go. Great way to start off our trip.

We arrived at the Ethiopian Air counter at about 7:30AM. We calmly hauled our luggage to the first class lane and up to the checkout agent. Wynne smiled and told her how excited we were going to Africa, that this was our first time going, and we were going to pick up our son. The agent calmly looked at our tickets, passports, and other documents. Our luggage was placed on the scale, weighed, and put on the belt. Our tags were being printed and other things were being put in order as Wynne and myself looked at each other waiting for the other shoe to drop as it has happend with everything else in this process. My stomach was in knots as if I was lying to th cops about some illegal activity and Wynne was sweating as though she was being interrogated by Ethiopian authorities. The agent is finishing everything up and she picks up our passports one last time. She looks at mine, turns to me and says, " Have you had your passport renewed?" My stomach drops. The gig is up. I can only imagine what Wynne is going through as she heard this. I say excuse me to her and then she laughs and says,"Oh, it expires in November. I didn't see the year. You're ok." A wave of calmness goes over me as Wynne shows the agent a picture of Addison and she remarks how cute he is. She gives us our stuff and we walk away feeling as though we are walking on cloud nine. Wynne and I look at each other with huge smiles, go through security with a huge relief and realize that we are about to embark on the journey to finally bring home our son.

The Saga Continues

2009-08-29T22:57:00.003-04:00

We are supposed to leave at 10:15 in the morning, and here it is midnight the night before, and we don't know if we are going to be able to get on the plane. We are still two hours away from DC (we fly out of Dulles), we need to be at the airport at 7am, and we have no idea what tomorrow morning's check-in will entail.

To make a long story short, Radames' passport expires in 3 months and he had NO idea this would be an issue. When we were finally packing up our whole live (in one day!) and getting all of our paperwork completed, copied, organized, etc., I saw his passport and thought, "oh, i feel like i've heard before that passports have to be valid for more than 6 months post-travel to get in some countries." Fast forward to him flipping out, us scavenging on-line for hours, calling and emailing everyone and anyone in this process who is supposed to be helping us (although they aren't!)....and we ended the night with Radames hysterically crying, screaming, rocking himself and beyond consoling. It was indeed true. On the ethiopian embassy site it says the passport has to be valid for 6 extra months beyond travel. No one at our agency or travel agency ever told us this!!!

We spent the night flipping out, me watching Radames cry himself to sleep while i pretended to be okay and saying, "it'll be fine, honey, we'll get there...we're gonna make it...it'll all work out." And then once he fell asleep I lost it. I called and got him an extension appointment in Philly for first thing Tues am, b/c that's the earliest one I could find on the eastern seaboard. I checked every possible flight that could still get him to Addis by Thursday's exit appointment, and there were none on our airline and there definitely none that would get him there if doesn't get a renewed passport until Tuesday afternoon. I just laid there and stewed on whether I should go without him, how we could change our flights, when we could get a passport renewal appt, how we could find a notary in the middle of the night that would notarize official paperwork that allows only one parent to pick up the child (which we can't do b/c those docs have to state authenticated after notarizing, and there's no way we could get them notarize, to nashville and then back to DC by Sunday at 7am!), the horrors of being there without him, him being here without me, us being without Ella for even longer, us missing our embassy appointment, etc. I finally crawled into Ella's bed hoping that the peace of her little snore would lull me to sleep. I think it finally did at around 6am.

At 10:30 we woke up and realized it wasn't a bad dream. We immediately started making calls to the ethiopian airlines ticket counter, scrambling for other flight options, calling the owners of the hotel we're at (asking if it was true and what we should do), frantically trying to get ahold of our travel agent to no avail, trying to get ahold of our adoption agency to no avail, etc. Thank the lord for Meredith who called a passport expediting service in NYC that said if RR would be in NYC at 7:30am with passport, license, new itenerary proving he was leaving within 24 hours, $350 in cash and a $135 check for the passport, they'd give him an extended passport by 5pm on Monday!

So...that's the plan as of now. If they don't let him on the plane (and perhaps even if they will, b/c the issue really isn't with the airlines, it's with the entry/visa process in Ethiopia when we get off the plane where they could say "welcome, now get the hell back on the plane b/c you can't stay"), then he's gonna get a different travel agent to find him a flight that'll leave on Mon night or Tues am from NYC, then take a train from DC to NYC (4 suitcases in tow), sleep in Brooklyn, be in NYC for the 7:30 "appointment", get a new passport, fly out of NYC through Dubai, hang out there for half a day, and then join me in Addis on Wednesday in time for our Thursday exit/embassy/finalize it all appointment!

If this all works out, then it could be fine. There are 100 opportunities for this to not go as planned, but we have to cling onto this for now. All we've got right now are our hopes, a pretty solid plan B, and each other.

Honestly, this is the one of the worst things we've had to deal with. We are furious, sad, confused, exhausted, scared, and did i mention exhausted. It's hard to believe that we should be singing camp songs and lullabies out loud while we make fun in-car video, and we're at a rinky dink gas stop righ now on our way to DC (bc we didn't leave home until 7pm, because we spent 6 hours on the phone today!) and we have no idea what the next week will hold. Ella is in great hands with Ganna and Sara Beth, the biz is in great hands, but this might be one of the most trying things we've ever been through.

We've cried together in the car so much on this trip. Radames was crying before we even left our neighborhood. I think we were doing such a good job holding it all together in front of Ella today that the minute we got in the car to drive away, it all just came pouring out. We've vascilated back and forth between, "it'll be fine" to "what did we do to deserve this?" to "should i just stay with you and we go through dubai together and both hope for Wed arrival?" to "is this really the way we are spending our 8th anniversary (on the 1st) - on opposite sides of the planet rather than hugging our new child together?", and just sniffling and blowing our noses on our shirts, b/c we have no friggin' napkins in the car although we have 8 suitcases full of everything that 3 human beings and dozens of orphans we've brought donations for could ever need!

Honestly, I just DON'T want to go by myself! That's where the tears keep coming from. I DON'T want to be without my rock! I don't want to meet Addison for the first time without him. This was never the pot of gold that was supposed to be at the end of the rainbow. I'm scared. Of being alone. Of being in Ethiopia by myself with four suitcases, a baby who doesn't know me that I'm supposed to be the new mother of, a husband who is missing somewhere in the middle east, no reliable mean of communication, and not to even mention how I tend to get nervous/panicky when I'm in situations where i feel trapped and out of control. I couldn't be any more petrified. I had to say to myself as I fell asleep last night, "Wynne, you CAN do this. You CAN do this alone for a few days! You HAVE to do this. This is not about you. This is about Addison. He needs you. He's waited long enough for you. You can do anything you set your mind to. Put your big girl pants on. Stick your fear in your pocket. Buck up and do what has to get done to get your baby home." I'm still telling myself those things as the tears well up in my eyes and I fantisize about this being a bad dream.

I don't know if we'll be able to post again, b/c RR is going to take my wireless card with him to NYC and he's going to be frantically getting his shit together so that he can leave, but we'll try to keep you posted as much as possible. As of now, it should be fine. I'll get there, he'll get a new passport, then he'll get there, then we'll do our embassy appt we've waited 6 months for, and we'll fly home on Friday night as planned. A week from now, we could be in our bed at home. Or... well, let's not continue to go there.

Thanks everyone who's been there for us! Thank you for your calls and prayers and emails and wishes. We want so badly to be passing along great info so that following our crazy journey isn't the biggest buzzkill ever, but, honestly, nothing about this process has been easy. When will this actually EVER get to be about our adorable new son who will have his arms wrapped around our necks!? When will we ever get to celebrate!? Pray for us that it'll be only 1 more day for me and 2-3 days for Radames :(

IS THIS REAL!??

2009-08-27T01:59:00.003-04:00

Do we really leave in 3 days!? Will we really be spending our anniversary in Africa? (8 years!) Will we really be "picking up" our new son!? This is so surreal. There really are no words.

But, of course, because I can always find words...we leave on Sat to drive to DC. We fly out of DC on Sun am directly to Addis Ababa. By Monday morning we'll be there and will get to "have" Addison that day! We'll be staying at the Ethiopia Guest Home (ethiopiaguesthome.com) which we are really excited about. It was built by two adoptive parents from California, so it's like a beach house in the middle of a city that sits atop a mountain. :) We are supposed to fly back on Friday night and arrive on Sat. We'll then drive home to start our new lives.

Sara Beth is coming to town to stay with Ella and take care of Brownie, and Smarty Pants work is all done! The details are getting wrapped up, the excitement is building and we just have no idea what to expect. It really is surreal!

We haven't even begun to pack bc we've been so busy with work and travel, but today's the big day for that. And, uh, maybe we should buy a bottle of something! Yikes. We're headed off to the dr today to get some altitude sickness medicine and various 'scrips for Addison, just in case. Tomorrow, we're going to see the nicest therapist lady in town who reminds me to breath and focus on what's important. Goodness knows I'm gonna need her to give me some perspective as we embark upon the biggest trip of our lives. Radames keeps reminding me that I have to just go with the flow and do as the Ethiopians do...e.g. expect the unexpected, not have a plan, be prepared for frustration, not think I'll be able to control anything, etc. Ah, that'll be easy. wink.

More to come

ONLY TWO MORE WEEKS!

2009-08-16T00:36:00.003-04:00

Yikes! Are we really leaving in two weeks!? Could it really be true!? Addison is 10 months old now, so it's way overdue...but, wow, is it really here finally??

We finally bought him a few shirts today, so that's a start. But we are no more ready than the man on the moon. Work is as busy as ever, if not busier, so we just haven't been in baby mode at all. And I still have a trip to ATL, NYC and Chicago before we head out to DC on the eve of the 29th. That's not nerve racking at all. [insert excited sarcasm]

Anyhoo....we're trying to keep folks updated by email, too, so if you didn't just get an email from me, let me know and I'll add you to the list.

A Change of Hotel Plans

2009-08-09T01:03:00.002-04:00

So, we had it all worked out to go pick up Addison...perfect flight, perfect (free) hotel suite at the Sheraton, etc. but the CHI people were giving us a really hard time about staying at the Sheraton. First telling us that we would have to provide our own transportation to and from HOH (so what) and then telling us that we can't have Addison with us at all if we stay at the Sheraton...and that we have to pay silly crib, nanny, food, etc. fees to the HOH while we're there, b/c we are "unwiling to pick up our child when we come."

Needless to say, I've spent the whole weekend boiling, b/c I got the bullying email on Friday after work saying that we couldn't have Addison AT ALL, even after our embassy/exit interview when they have no rights to our child whatsoever, because "we were choosing not to pick him up like all the other parents." The language, threats, punitive fees, etc. has had me pissed for the past 36 hours.

Well, after asking several people's opinions and cooling off a bit...lo and behold, we just booked a reservation at Ethiopia Guest House - a place that CHI approves of, hence we get to take our child and not have to pay them and fight with them. They win. Now, instead of the free accommodations, we are shelling out quite a chunk of money to stay at a place where we "get" to share a bathroom with another family. Oh, the joys. But, hey, if that's what they insist on, then so be it. Since our son has been held prisoner for long enough, we might as well do whatever we can to make sure these people have no reason to end up denying us the rights to get him at the final hour.

We still have our Sheraton reservation - and wil probably keep it. But now that we're playing by their new rules, we get to do with Addison whatever we want in-country...well, except sleep and be where we want with our own child that legally became ours on August 5th, that is.

FINALLY!!! HE'S OURS!

2009-08-05T11:05:00.002-04:00

August 5th, 2009, little Eyob X from Addis Ababa, Ethiopia, became our little Addison Miles Tyree-Rodriguez! Woo hoo!!

[Insert so many f- bombs and other explicatives here!]

Cheesy Midnight Poetry

2009-08-04T23:52:00.001-04:00

‘Twas the night before court
And all through the house,
Not a creature was stirring,
Not even a mouse.

Ella’s tucked in,
So are Radames and I.
We all just lay thinking
About our new little guy.

Will he or won’t he,
Get to be ours?
Soon we will know,
It’s just a matter of hours.

We want him so bad,
And this time it feels right.
Just one more set of dreams,
Just one more long night.

The silence is thick,
As we wonder and guess,
Hoping the judge in Ethiopia
Soon would say yes.

She’ll bang her gavel
And say, “It was destined to be!”
Or maybe she won’t.
We’ll just have to see.

We’ve all come so far,
Just a little bit more….
Please just let us all wake up
And be a family of four.

Could Someone PLEASE tell Ella...

2009-08-02T00:42:00.002-04:00

...to stop talking into my belly button and saying, "Addison, it's time for you to come out, Buddy!!!???" "You'll be here soon, Addison...", she likes to say as she pats my stomach and sides and backside! Today she was totally cracking me up as she kept tapping on my belly and said, "It's okay, Addison, we're gonna get you outta there soon....it's okay, baby" in the sweetest little sing-song voice ever. :)

I've told her 1,000 times that he's not coming out of my belly, but I think her 5-year-old brain and my not-so-flat stomach beg to differ.

Wish Us Luck on August 5th

2009-07-27T15:23:00.002-04:00

The big day is approaching soon. August 5th is our court date, and we are feeling optimistic about it. Ella's school is out that day for a teacher in-service, so we are taking that as a sign tha it will be our designated celebration day. :)

If all go as planned we'll leave the last weekend of August and our embassy/exit appointment is Sept. 3rd. So it looks like we'll be spending our anniversary in Ethiopia. Who would have guessed that eight years ago when we got married!? Life sure is full of crazy twists and turns.

This weekend was my birthday. Yikes! Am I really 37!!? How did that happen? It was nice and low-key, but a great opportunity to reflect. Radames got me a hot stone massage at the local spa, and then we went swimming with Ella and went out to a great dinner, and then washed it down with cookie cake from the Great Americn Cookie Co. My fav! :) And for my presents, the Smarty Pants girls bought me a Flip Video! So exciting! It's exactly what I wanted to take to Ethiopia for all of the video-worthy moments. And Radames and Ella got me an amazing, best-in-class Nikon camera like I'm a photojournalist for National Geographic! Again, totally for Ethiopia and the great moments in our lives that are already here and will be more to come. I can't wait to lug that giant zoom lens around the planet. :)

Net, net: my life rocks! I'm so very fortunate to have an amazing hubby and daughter...and at the end of the day, we have everything we could ever want. We REALLY want to add little Addison to our lives, though. We REALLY hope he gets to make it here. He's the perfect final piece to our funny family puzzle. Wish us luck on the 5th!

STILL Waiting

2009-07-19T23:54:00.002-04:00

Earlier this week when I was out in LA, we got yet another email from our agency that said that: "I spoke with our Ethiopia rep today regarding your adoption case and the judge has issued a new court date for your case to be heard and approved. The new court date is August 5th. That would give you a visa appointment date of September 3rd. I know that this is very discouraging but since the MOWA is out, all adoption cases had to be rescheduled until after their return, if documentation was still needed from the MOWA in order for an adoption to be approved."

My immediate thought was to reply with a "WHATEVER! Just give us our baby already!"...accompanied by some sort of electronic middle finger. Needless to say, I didn't do that. But I sure wanted to. I know it has nothing to do with our agency, but the on-going delays, drama, emails re: futher postponements, etc. is just so beyond frustrating and ridiculous. Our hearts have become so bitter about the whole process that, honestly, nothing is going to make that go away until we have landed in Addis Ababa and have him in our arms. Or better yet, when we are airborn on the return flight. It just feels so hopeless and like a cruel trick at this point.

On a happier note, b/c we can't dwell on what we can't control...I discovered Little Ethiopia while in LA. I ate a huge Ethiopian lunch by myself in the nicest restaurant there and got to ham it up with the owners about making the trek. The food was AMAZING! I was so surprised. I wasn't expecting to like it, but I couldn't stop eating. I had the vegetarian lunch buffet AND the meat sampler entree. All of was delicious. It was kind of like great Indian food - spicy and so full of flavor, minus the curry. I got "reprimanded" for eating with a fork and told to get ready to just eat with my hands. I loved the injera (like Indian nan - a sourdough flatbread with little bubbles in it like a sponge - almost looks like when a crepe started to bubble on one side while you cook it). The injera serves at the "bowl" for almost everything, so it was hard to not keep eating. Bread is my friend. :) I also bought a little Amharic phrasebook in a gift shop, along with a kiddy DVD that is Amharic with English sub-titles.

So, today was learn Amharic day in our house. We had such a fun time letting Ella teach us Amharic, b/c of course SHE had to be in charge of all translations (even though she can't even read English!). Radames enjoyed laughing at my Southern botchery of unfamiliar vowel sounds. And we all listened along as two giraffe taught each other life lessons in a completely unintelligible language on our new DVD. Ella kept saying, "Tonight for my bedtime story, let me read you a book in Addison's language...I'll teach you." Then she forced me to listen to her say, "Okay, mommy, now how do you say shirt?" Then I'd say, "i don't know." She'd make up a word and say, "It's na-wah!" (like I wasn't supposed to know that and like that was really the word for shirt). Then she'd say, "now how do you say pillow?"...don't know..."it's pa-wah!" then cat was sha-wah. (Lather. Rinse. Repeat until you want to put a bullet in your head and/or can't stop laughing at her. :)

She's heading back for her second week of kindergarten this week. She loves it, and all she can talk about is the cafeteria. She's completely obsessed with the cafeteria. It's all she think about. She keeps begging us to let her have breakfast there like all the other "lucky" kids who get to eat a biscuit and jelly before the bell rings. I shit you not. No matter what question we ask her about school, the answer is always related to the cafeteria and how they have chicken nuggets AND chocolate milk AND applesource there... AND you get to pick your own food. She just can't wrap her head around it. So adorable. :)

Hopefully we'll have some adoption news soon. Thanks for all of your continued support and sweet wishes for us. This kid better get here already! :)

Some Great News!

2009-07-09T22:17:00.004-04:00

So today we got a call from our agency that included the following info (and some reminders of things we already knew):
- The investigation is over
- Everything was found to be free and clear
- The courts are agressively putting all of our cases back on the docket as soon as possible
- WE WERE GIVEN A NEW COURT DATE OF JULY 20TH!! Yes, 2009. :)

The Ministry of Women's Affairs that has to prep a letter for the courts, but is unfortunately on a post-investigation training break until the 24th of July. The courts have asked them to get the letter done anyway so that we can complete our case on the 20th!

If our case is heard on the 20th as planned, we can have an Embassy appointment date of either August 6th or more likely August 20th, which means we'd leave around the 15th of August! Woo hoo!

Just let this all be true...and let it all come together. It would be great to bring Addison home before his 16th birthday already! :)

The Ridiculous Saga Continues

2009-07-08T22:26:00.003-04:00

Well, here we are...two years and almost four months into the process and still no Addison. Just the most ridiculous run-around ever. Today we were told that the ban has been officially lifted and that the courts will now give out new court dates. We are supposed to hear about our new court date tomorrow. That's great news. My brain tells me that we are supposed to be excited, but my heart just can't muster the energy. Mainly because we also got word today that the Ministry of Women's Affairs in Ethiopia (that handles all of the pre- and post-court paperwork related to adoptions) will now be closed for two weeks while they do a post-investigation/new protocol training. So, basically nothing can happen even if there were a new court date. They are supposed to be done with their training on the 24th of July, but the courts close soon after that for the rainy season, so the odds that we'll get a court date any time soon (that actually happens) is slim to none. It's just so frustrating and exhausting, and it's hard to not just become cold-hearted about the whole thing. The process has just been so disheartening and so beyond insane that there's just really nothing to say. Hence the time since we've blogged last. Sorry about that. The details are just so stupid that who cares. Just give us our damn kid already.

When we step back and look at the big picture, it really is beyond insane. There are about 4 million orphans in Ethiopia, most of whom are orphaned because their parents are either dead or dying or there is literally not enough food to feed them. And here we are 7,000+ miles away, amazing, happy people who want nothing more than to bring one of those orphans into our lives and love him to death... and spend our lives trying to fill the void that we can't imagine he must feel and will always know. And then there's a government that is understaffed, disorganized, and not necessarily excited about international adoption as an alternative for their country that first didn't hear our case, then put a ban on our case along with hundreds of others, then conducted an investigation, then completed the investigation, then announced that there was no foul play, then said our agency would hear soon...day after day after day after day!...and then said come back tomorrow once again and maybe we'll tell you what we'll do, and then decided to shut down their paperwork agency for two weeks, then decided to go on rainy season vacation, etc. etc. etc. while thousands of kids sit in orphanages and in transition homes while their prospective parents thousands of miles away cry themselves to sleep every night, night after night, angry and bitter and confused and sad one minute, hopeful the next. It's torture - on both ends. And no matter how much we rationalize it or try not to rationalize it...no matter how optimistic we try to be, it doesn't change the fact that Addison is being held prisoner along with thousands of other babies caught up in this nonsense while families sit and wait for "the call" to come in any minute, week after week after week. It's just too much. Too long. Too incredible. Was it Lord Byron who said the truth is stranger than fiction? So true. No one could even make this up.

New Pix

2009-07-02T23:01:00.000-04:00

Today we got two new pictures of Addison. OMG!!!! He is SO friggin' adorable I can't stand it! We almost didn't recognize him because he is so grown. He's 8 1/2 months old now and 19 1/2 lbs. They're definitely feeding him over there. We can't wait to show the pix! You'll die. He's such a little munchin. I wanna eat him!

No Foul Play

2009-06-21T00:02:00.002-04:00

According to our program director who is in Addis Ababa now, the investigation is over and there was no foul play. That's great news! We are supposed to hear some time this week how they will handle our case, so hopefully we'll be back on the docket soon. That would be great, since it's been 6 weeks of ridiculousness at this point.

We've been doing well though. Summer is keeping us busy and distracted and Radames' "let it work itself out" mantra has effectively rubbed off on me as we try to soak out every minute of summer with Ella before she starts school in less than a month! Yikes!

Hope you like the new blog skin. Here's a new pic of Addison's nursery, too.

The Investigation is Over

2009-06-13T00:28:00.002-04:00

Well, the good news is that the Ethiopian investigation is officially now over. The bad news is that the powers that be haven't formally announced the results or their decision on what will happen next. We all assume that will happen in the next week or so, though, b/c the agencies have decided to go to the courts and officially request a lift on the ban even if there is no official announcement in the next few days. All in all, that's great news, b/c it means that there's progress. And progress is our friend these days. :)

We've also been reading rumors that the courts will stay open through Aug and Sept rather than closing down for the rainy season, which is usually what happens each year on Aug 1. That would be awesome, b/c it would mean that we'd have a better chance of getting our rescheduled case heard, if (fingers crossed) we get put back on the docket soon. Everyone cross your fingers and toes for us that we'll hear good news soon and that we'll get a new court date!

We've been doing pretty well these days, all said and done. We've been busy with work, tee-ball and tae kwon do, summer parties/get togethers with Ella's little freinds, traveling, bringing in new biz, etc. As sick and twisted as it sounds, it's getting easier each day, b/c we are getting more and more removed from it. It was such a blow at first, but now we're just chugging along and living life and enjoying summer and confident that it will happen, just not on the schedule we planned for. Ella starts school in a month, so maybe it's a blessing that we are just getting to eak out her last month of "freedom" with her. Goodness knows our whole lives are getting ready to change because of that, so maybe it's supposed to be that Addison's not here yet. Just trying to be optimistic.

Oh, and how could i forget!? Addison turned 8 months old today. :) Wish we could have spent it with him. :) But...the riper the berry, the sweeter the juice...and I don't mean that in a sexual way. HA!

What a week! But at least we're in NYC!

2009-06-06T01:01:00.003-04:00

Ah, what a week. Another emotianally-charged, beyond-exhausting week. Today marks the 4th week that we got word that our court case was delayed, and, unfortunately, there's still no resolution. We did hear today from our program director that our in-country rep heard directly from the courts today (while he was there with other cases) that the investigation had been completed. But when asked what was discovered, he was told "go find out for yourself." Lovely. They didn't give him any answers as to when the cases would be put on the docket or what their decision moving forward would be. But the good news is that the investigation appears to be over. Things are progressing along well. The bad news is that we still have no idea what that means in general or for us. It's also bad news that we saw on an info blog today that the orphanage Addison is from is one of the five that are still under investigation and/or are still waiting. Again, lovely (insert sarcastic tone here). We have no idea if that's actually true, b/c the blogosphere is a giant cluster-f-ck of bad and half information, but it still didn't feel so great.

Honestly, it's just been such an emotionally draining week on the adoption front. The main reason was that our adoption counselor, whom we love dearly, was fired. (PS. That has nothing to do with Addison or our actual adoption.) Radames and I were devastated. And pissed off! The fact that we and other families are going through so much right now, and then to rip the one person we had a strong, supportive relationship with away from us at the most inopportune time ever was so infuriating. I honestly almost threw up when Radames told. And he, being mr. calm and cool throughout this whole process, was livid. He just kept yelling, "this is so f--ed up...I'm totally writing a letter of complaint about the woman who fired her...how dare they...why are we all being punishd because she was too close to us..." Let's just say Wed night was not a good night. Our confidence level in the whole process was at 0%! And logically we know that her leaving will have no impact on us bringing our son home, but emotionally it had a huge impact. And it was just one more thing that just felt so damn screwed up about this whole process. I just kept saying to Radames, "I'm totally starting IVF again as soon as we get home. I could have had three babies by this point! Nothing could be worse than this." And I meant it.

It's still so hard to believe that Toni's gone, but today was a bit better, thanks to Meredith talking me off the ledge. (Thanks, Mer!) I totally wanted to email our agency and just blast the shit out of them. But I knew that wouldn't do any good. Honestly, I could care less if I ever hear from any of them again at this point. Just some one tell us when we can go pick up our damn son! It's so beyond ridiculous at this point. I could really care less about their updates and niceties at this point. Everytime we start to heal a bit, they come along and rub some salt in our wounds, so why engage.

Okay, so I'll stop being bitter now. (Well, at least "out loud" on our blog.) The good thing that has happened this week is: we are spending the week together as a family in NYC. It's so nice to be back here. We are hanging out with old friends, having great lunches and dinners and getting to do fun things. I'm still working like a dog, which has meant like 4 hours of sleep every night, but I'm doing everything I can to cram some social life in around the work hours. We just desperately needed to get out of TN and get back here. Not that there's anything wrong with TN, of course, but it's just good to sit around and have dinner chat with our ny friends that we never have to watch our tongues with, understand the same jokes, make fun of the same things, chat about work life, etc. It's so emotionally relaxing to us to get face time with people we only get to connect with electronically these days. Ella's had a blast seeing her "Brooklyn friends" and cousins and we've loved being in the city.

And we've loved seeing brown faces. (Those of you who know us well know what we mean.) It's just important for us (and Ella!) to not live in a bubble, especially at this time in our lives. Today Ella got her hair braided by Jordan's nanny, which for some strange reason, made me really happy. She's gotten to be around all of her Dominican cousins and hear her grandma speak Spanish all week. And tonight we were at Mike and Heather's house and I was holding their youngest son, Phoenix, who is about 3 weeks younger than Addison, and it was just nice to have him in my arms. He's so adorable, and, personally, I just needed to smell a baby and see big brown eyes staring up at me. For a minute, I got to have hope again. And I got to see Ella playing with Ryan (their 3-year-old) again and it just felt right. It's important...for reasons that I don't need to explain.

Tonight, Radames is still out DJ'ing with Mike, and I couldn't be happier. He needs to be at a club at 2:00am. I know this city gives him his fuel, and I love to see him happy and "at home". Yesterday, we walked by a hat store on the lower east side, and it turned out that my friend Monika from Nickelodeon that we were meeting for dinner was friends with the owners, and next thing you know, Radames was trying on crazy handmade fedoras that only he could pull off. He told the guy to custom make him one made out of some...well, basically a burlap sack type of material. He gave the guy $300 and told him to text him when it was done. If it weren't this week, I would have been like, "what the hell are you doing?", but, honestly, if the stupid hat cost $1000 I would have been happy to have him buy it. These are the quirky NYC things that make him happy. And he deserves a dumb hat for so so many reasons.

Tomorrow we are taking Ella to see Pinkalious the play (based on the book). She and her cousin Noemi are so doggone excited. I know it'll be fun. And then we're doing a Belmont party out on Long Island. Radames will have SO much fun with "his boys" there. I love seeing him with them. Ella and I will probably leave to go see other friends that live on LI, but I'm looking forward to another fun day as a family.

I know it'll get better. It has to. Goodness knows there's no where to go but up on this roller coaster. I was brave enough to look at Addison's video and pic again tonight when I was showing them to Heather. It had been a while since I'd looked at them. Mostly out of need to preserve my own sanity and to start to disconnect a bit...just in case. It was nice to "see" him again. :) I really hope he gets to be ours after all. I want to believe he was meant to be ours and that there's a reason for all of this.

A Really Nice Weekend

2009-05-26T23:46:00.004-04:00

I'm happy to report that we had a really great weekend as a family. Given where we've been, I was really worried about this long weekend. I was worried about not working and how we'd feel having to occupy ourselves for 3-4 days. Terrance's family was away and there were no baseball or t-ball games or karate, so I was pretty scared. And because most of our friends are still in NY/CT/NJ, our social life in TN is pretty...well, shall we say, "under-developed". :) In the midst of all of this adoption drama, the quiet time that we used to enjoy is not exactly our friend anymore.

So, on Friday I resolved that I was not going to let this continue to drag me down. Knowing that it's out of our hands, I really just have to let it go and work itself out in the time that it needs to be worked out. I decided that I was going to just grab life by the horns and soak every second of togetherness I could out of the time we have left before Ella starts school. She'll be starting a year-round school on July 14th (YIKES!), and I'm determined to not look back and wonder why I wasted May and June stewing about the unknown rather than reveling in our last summer as a pre-real-school family. And this could be our last summer with her as an only child, so I am determined to make the most of it.

So, poor Radames has been busier than ever as we've had the most action-packed weekend ever. On Friday night we went to see Angels and Demons while Ella played Legos with Ganna. On Saturday morning we went to our first party at Chuck E Cheese. Good times. (insert sarcasm.) The party was at 10am on a Saturday morning, which is definitely an asleep time for our family. Radames was desperate for his morning coffee. Instead, we were eating pizza and chicken wings and watching Ella eat bday cake when she should have been eating oatmeal. (PS. The food there sucks!) The place was pretty dead, b/c everyone was away for the weekend, but I can see why that place is a parent's nightmare. When Chuck E (sp?) came out, all the kids started to scream bloody murder, and I could not help but wonder why one guy from another party kept wandering around searching the machines for extra tickets. Jeez. Are you that desperate for a plastic snake or glittery bouncy ball!? Ella and all of her little friends had a wonderful time though. She thought it was the biggest deal ever. She got to ride a fake horse, dance in front of a green screen, play air hockey, squirt water through a clown's mouth, and ride a chair lifting "ride". It was worth every second.

When we left Radames insisted we go to IHOP for breakfast! He refused to eat at CEC, so he'd been starving for like 3 hours. After a stack of pancakes, we came home to take a well-deserved, carb-induced nap. The other kids in the neighborhood were going to "the club" (short for the country club) to go swimming. Jealous and bewildered, Ella sat in the driveway and cried and asked why her mommy and daddy won't take her to "the club"...at which point I knew it was nap time.

After our naps, we went to a funny Battle of the Pigs event at the local state fairgrounds. Ah, the redneck eye-candy. So many people to make fun of, so little time. :) By the time we got there the "pig" (aka the barbeque) part was over, but Ella got to jump on those dirty blow up "houses" and slides for hours, so she couldn't have been any happier (or more covered in sweat). I watched as the lower-class parents either smoked a cigarette next to their kids or shared a Mt. Dew with them while the upper-class parents over-affirmed their children with "great slide", "ooh, good one", "that's great, honey" every time their kid went down the friggin' slide. Radames tried "hot boiled peanuts" for the first time, which we learned was code word for deep-fried, scalding-hot, soggy, soft peanuts in a plastic bag that shoot hot oil into your mouth when you try to "crunch" through the shell into the mushy peanuts. (He stunk like grease for like 6 hours!) We sat and listened to a cover band in an ampitheatre, Ella and Radames danced to the old song, My Girl, and Radames got to chat it up with some fellow little league coaches that he bumped into there. And Ella got a balloon princess made by a clown that I'm pretty sure I saw on an episode of Law and Order SVU. She thought it was the greatest thing ever.

We then went to eat some sushi at our favorite upscale get-away in town. Ella performed her typical there's-no-music-playing-but-i-think-i-see-a-space-i-could-turn-into-a-dancefloor dance for all of the couples on romantic dates and then she hammed it up with her friend the sushi chef. (Yes, our child is the 5-year-old mayor of our town. Or she's a genius who realizes she can use her cuteness to get free imitation crab sticks.) The sushi chef came over and asked Radames and me if we wanted to come over to his house to come swimming with Ella some time. Ella screamed out "yes!" and Radames and I sat and tried to figure out what the guy was saying as he tried to give us directions to his house in his broken english. Only us! We then made our way to a Red Box and decided to rent the movie W. We ended the night rolling our eyes at our former president and thanking the stars for Obama. (Sorry, GOP friends. We still love you.)

Sunday we read the Times and decided we'd take a Sunday drive to Roan Mountain after our friend who was supposed to take us on a boat ride told us that rain was in store. We packed up our day-trip bags and headed for what turned out to be yet one more stop on our white trash weekend train ride. :) We wound up a mountain for like an hour, not knowing what we were looking for...only to discover...a mountain. Yep, there you go, my friends. What a surprise. A mountain. Complete with a playground, a campground, some hiking trails, a gift shop and a public pool. A state park for all the delapodated trailors we saw as we drove up the mountain. Not sure what we were expecting, but that's about it. We had a Subway sandwich and chips picnic with ourselves and commenced to paying our $4 entry fee to the pool. Ella had the time of her life, and I enjoyed watching her and Radames play fight in the water. The surroundings were actually really beautiful. It was a place where the clouds literally touch the tops of the mountains and it's hard to see where the mountains end and the sky begins. I needed the symbolism.

We then drove back to town and went to see the Hannah Montana movie together. Okay, confession: I totally loved. Ella and I danced in our aisle together. (There were only three other people in the theatre, so who cares.) We had a great time. And double confession: Radames was totally laughing the whole time and diggin' it, too. Don't let him tell you otherwise.

Radames was up until like 3am on Sun night getting his "set" ready for a dj-ing gig he had at the local elementary school on Monday morning at 8am! Yes indeed, I'm married to the DJ of the Woodland Elementary 2009 Field Day. Step off, ladies. He was running on fumes as he lugged his vinyl records to his dj booth (aka a tent on the playground). He must have played the cha cha slide like 50 times for the kids who kept requesting completely inappropriate songs like Boom Boom Pow Pow that their 22-year-old moms and dads evidently listen to with them at night. He watched as the teachers shook their groove things to 80's classics like 8-6-7-5-3-0-9. I was busy being an anthropologist and scopin' out ella's upcoming schoolmates...and making nice with the principal...who knows me only as "the dj's wife." That cracks me up. I think they all think that we live off of Radames' dj-ing money (mind you he's never charged anyone a penny. he just does it because he loves music).

Ella also had her preschool "placement test" on Monday while we were at the school. I think she passed with flying colors, but what do I know. I wasn't sure if I should laugh or cry when the reading teacher/test administrator was asking her to name body parts that she pointed to, draw a square and show her how to hold a pencil. (Don't you learn these things when you're like 3?) Let go, Wynne!

We ended the night with a trip back up a different mountain to go to bbq at the lake. Some local friends who have a lake house invited us out for Mem Day. Radames got to drink a few beers, make man chat (in other words tell exaggerated stories), watch crunchy college kids smoke weed and pitch bean bags into a hole in a wooden box while I got to play nice with the overly-tanned cougars that were on the holiday prowl. It was really fun to get away though. We finished up the night with a trip to Fun Expedition - the local indoor family amusement park. Ella met up with her friend Myles there and we got to ride bumper cards and play a $1 version of Let's Make a Deal enough times to win enough points to "buy" Ella some Floam. Good times!

The real end to the night was the three of us celebrating Radames' birthday in the basement. Yep, Rico is the big 3-9 now! I can't even believe that! There's no way he could be 39! He got an awesome Diaper Dude bag from his sister, along with some really cute stuff for him and Addison (like a t-shirt for him that says Big Guy and an identical one for Addison that says Little Guy). His mom bought him socks and underwear like all good mothers should. :) Ella and I got him a Mets onesie and bib for Addison, some t-shirts and the Big City Sliders grill. You know, that thing from the infomercial that lets you make 5 mini-burgers at a time! He'll never use it, but he swears he'll be able to replicate a White Castle with it. :) It was a wonderful birthday. In classic Radames spirit he just kept saying, "I don't want anything. All I want is right here. Nothing else matters." And he really means it. He is such an amazing human being. Thank you, ma Rodriguez, for pushing him out 39 years ago! The world is such a better place because he's here.

Today was Ella's graduation from pre-school. It was held in Pigeon Forge, also known as the Hillbilly Riviera. The Vegas of the South. We went to Wonder Works museum, which was a really cool hands-on "museum" and then we went to Mr. Gatti's, which is another Chuck E Cheese / Fun Expedition place. Ella had an amazing time with all of her friends, and we won so many tickets (with Ganna!) that Ella was able to get a mock Dr. Suess hat, a pink recorder, two plastic rings, a pink cowboy hat with a tiara on it and butterfly sticker! Now that, my friends, is the high life. :) She was ecstatic, though. We got to hang out for hours together and just have a good ol' time. And then we rented a seedy hotel room so we could use their pool! Yep, we got the $40 hotel room that came complete with relaxing pool with a cool water slide and mushroom waterfall... and a room to shower off the chlorine. We spent all afternoon there watching some toothless people make-out (no joking!) and catching ella as she went down the slide like 5,000 times! We went to a nice dinner and drove back home. It was a great day. Maybe we weren't supposed to be in Ethiopia this week for a reason. :)

Feeling Better

2009-05-22T12:00:00.004-04:00

The past couple of days have been better. Thank goodness. I think it was a combination of: 1) the skeletons-in-the-closet, but quite cathartic blog posting that I finally brought myself to do a few days ago, 2) the fact that Ella's birthday was yesterday and it was impossible to not be smitten with her all day, 3) a good conf call our agency had with us on Wed about hanging tight and staying optimistic, 4) a rumor that yesterday the court ban was lifted on one of the orphanages which means progress is being made, 5) officially cancelling our air and hotel reservations this week which was devastating at the time but also cleansing to a certain degree bc being in limbo is worse than just cancelling and rebooking, and 6) the fact that a sunny long weekend is in store.

Ella's birthday was amazing, and we are so proud of her. She's such an amazing little girl, now 5, and now complete with one missing tooth! We had a full-scale blowout for her on Sunday and then yesterday (her real b-day), we went to her school where we pretended to be parents of the year by reading to the class (well, actually Ella read while she sat on my lap and Radames played photographer), organizing a treasure hunt for gold coins that you would have thought were real, setting up a sack race, and bringing in cupcakes. It was s lot of fun. She also lost her tooth during lunch. Either she ate it or I ate it as I polished off her school chicken patty. Yikes! It was no where to be found after her plate was clean!

On Monday, she has her "placement test" for kindergarten. That's code word around these parts for checking to see how much of an idiot your kid is so that all the bobos don't get placed with the same teacher who wants to kill herself before the year is over. They want to evenly distribute the geniuses and problem children. :) Hopefully, Ella will be part of the former group.

On the adoption front, we have no real news. It's officially been two weeks now, and all we know is that the investigation (not into our specific cases) is still going on, they are anticipating it won't drag out for "that long", and that all we have to do is hang tight and let it be. That's been hard for me, as you know, but Radames is doing pretty well these days. He's rubbing off on me now, though. I'm getting to be more at peace with the situation...and hopefully we'll just look back one day and say, "oh yeah, remember that little blip in the process we had that time..." The reality is that there's nothing I can do and we'll get him when he's ready. I've gotta stop thinking about the coulda, woulda, shoulda, and just enjoy all the blessings that are right under my nose.

Thank you, again, everyone for all of your sweet wishes and email and cards. You have NO idea how much they've meant as we've waded through our darkest hours. We love you guys!

Opening Pandora's Box

2009-05-20T01:30:00.001-04:00

Well, where do I begin? I guess the first place is with our sincerest thanks to all of you who have emailed, called, sent cards, and just been there for us over the past 12 days. On the 8th when we got the news that our case wouldn't be heard until further notice b/c of questions of corruption, we were devastated. So many of you reached out to us with positive vibes, prayers, and wishes. Honestly, we just can't thank all of you enough for being there for us, even from thousands of miles away. I haven't had the energy or words to respond to all of you, because, quite frankly, I've been totally self-absorbed, depressed and wordless. I'm sorry for that.

I'm also sorry that neither of us has blogged. Again, there's just been nothing to say. I haven't had the energy to type, and I haven't been able to figure out what value it would be to share where we are, emotionally. At the time we started the blog, we were excited to bring people into our "adventure", because we knew it would have a happy ending..and who wouldn't want to be a part of that? But the past 12 days have been less than an adventure. And I've wondered...who would want to read about a cancer growing? Who would want to read about a car crash happening in slow motion? Who would want to be dragged down by our depression? So, we've just been quiet.

The quietness hasn't been good for me, though. And I think I need to write to just let some of it pour out. At first I didn't want to write because I didn't want to drag any of you down. Now I think I need to, because I desperately need to let some things out. I've been trying to "protect" our blog so that Addison can one day inherit it as part of his life story...of how we waited for him, how we felt along the way. And I realize now that all this pain that we are feeling is just as much a part of his life story as the fun of packing up cute little Brooklyn t-shirts into our travel bags. And I'm also realizing that trying to pretend to be strong is pretty self destructive. For every tear that I fight back, it's another hour that I can't fall asleep at night. For every paragraph that I write in my head but am too proud to share with myself or Addison or even Radames, the more I want the morning to turn into night so I never have to get out of bed.

Honestly, things just haven't been good around here. Saturday the 9th was probably one of the longest days of my life. I can barely remember how I spent the day, but I know it was a combination of staring at the clock and wanting to slam it against the wall because the second hand wasn't moving fast enough to make it turn into Sunday. I remember just staring at Radames a lot and, without words, just knowing that I knew what he felt and that he knew what I felt. I remember being in the shower and wanting to just sit down and let the water wash the sadness off of my skin. But I couldn't, because I didn't want Ella to come in...and I didn't want Radames to think I was weak or impatient.

And then Sunday rolled around, and it was Mother's Day. Ella and Radames woke me up with flowers and...honestly, it's just a blur. I know that I was chipper in front of Ella and so thankful that she is in our lives. I didn't want her to know I was sad and mad and confused and resentful and a wreck. She kept saying, "It's a beautiful day outside, Mommy," and it was. When I finally walked outside and felt the sun beating down, I picked her up and held her and said, "Addison's going to come home right, honey?"...so weak that I needed the comforting of a 4-year-old...and she said, "Yes, he is, mommy, he'll be here soon" as she patted her little hand against my back like a mother would her child. I wept in her ear like a baby as she looked at me bewildered and said, "Can we go to Daniel's (her cousin) now?" She had no idea what was going on, and she still doesn't, but her 10 seconds of reassurance meant the world to me.

I felt like I needed to be alone so I told Radames and Ella I'd meet them at Daniel's. I went for a ride on my scooter and waited for the 50-mile-an-hour winds to blow the sadness off of me. I drove around to I-don't-know-where, just watching the minutes tick by on the little clock on my Vespa, with tears dripping down my face as I could barely see the road. It felt good, though, because no one could see me...and after an hour or so, I went and celebrated Mother's Day with my mom and Terrance's family and mine. We had fun for a while, and I thought it would be fine, but as all the hooplah of the evening wound down, I found myself alone with my mind...haunting me as I lay there listening to Radames' breathe, searching for answers, wishing so badly that i could turn my mind off and go to sleep.

I decided on Monday that work would be the perfect solution. If I'd just stay busy the days would pass faster, and if i'd run from my emotions well enough, they wouldn't find me. So Monday I decided that I would not think about the unknown, and that i would just throw myself into work. It did help. Monday was busy and I did pretty well. But then the night came again. Damnit. The fucking night. When no phones are ringing, when no emails are coming in, when everyone is asleep but me...as I sit and ask myself 1,000 different ways...what does it mean when Toni (our counselor at CHI) says "hang tight"? what if he isn't abandoned? what if he was sold? what if he was stolen? how must his mom feel? is his case under investigation? why are we being punished for things that have nothing to do with his case? when will someone call us? when will we know something? when will the courts address the issue? why can't they issue a timeframe? why won't they tell us what's next? how long should we wait? is he really meant to be our son? maybe it's not meant to be? maybe it is meant to be? maybe we should fly there and show the courts how nice we are and how much we want him? why can't we have babies the old fashion way? why aren't i thankful that we have ella? why am i wasting energy trying to solve the unsolvable? why am i stealing any minute that i could be enjoying life with ella and radames thinking about a child that we really don't even know yet? why can't i fall asleep? why is my mind playing tricks on me? why aren't those breathing exercises working? maybe if radames would just put his hand on my back i'd be able to fall asleep...and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on. Until i wonder what separates me from the psychos in the nut house... until i wonder how edgar allen poe and i must be related because the goddamn heartbeat under the floor won't stop fucking haunting me.

Pandora's Box Part 2

2009-05-20T00:38:00.000-04:00

...I spent Tuesday and Wednesday with Joanna and Sara Beth here, and it really helped. Joanna and I got to talk about work and I got to flex the intellectual side of my brain again. Sara Beth was here to help me plan Ella's 5th birthday gala that I insisted on having before all of this happened, b/c I didn't want that event to not happen because we were busy prepping for our departure. The company was great, and having women around was just the perfect touch. Radames and I are about as connected as two human beings can be, but his brain just works differently than mine, and men just feel things differently than women. Just having the gentle voices around and being able to "dump" without having to edit or worry if i was stressing him out even more was really helpful. I got to be distracted, and those three days went by pretty quickly.

By the time Thursday rolled around, Radames and I went to see a therapist. We originally had it on the books so I could get some "let go and not try to control things" advice as we got ready to ship off to the other side of the planet, not knowing the language, not being able to influence the courts, and being stuck on a plane for 15 hours at a time (my claustrophic nightmare). It turned out that we needed her for a very different reason. We walked in and started to make chit chat about details...and i got more and more fired up as i talked...and shit came pouring out. She interrupted me and said, "Wynne, i'm gonna go out on a limb here and suggest that you just have a good old fashion cry and give yourself permission to do that while you let radames hold you." My retort was, of course, "no...that's stupid...i'm not a baby...crying isn't going to get us anywhere... i'm not a victim...tears aren't going to solve anything...i don't even want to be touched." and then i just started ranting and raving about how mad i am and how unfair this whole thing is and how fucked up it is that a kid with no parents in a nation with little food can't come be loved by us...after everything we've done...after everything we've created...after all the dues we've paid...after 9 years of trying to get pregnant...after a miscarriage...and 2+ years of waiting on this adoption to come through...after plane tickets are booked, nursery is ready, bags are packed...and goddamnit...what did we do to deserve this!!?? And i just ranted about how much i can't stand Radames right now because he's made peace with God about this...and how i resent his coolness under pressure and how i resent our agency for not emailing us more often to tell us what the hell is going on...and how everyone on this planet can kiss my fat ass, because this f-ing sucks! and it's unfair. and addison doesn't deserve it...and we don't deserve it...and the planet shouldn't work like this...an innocent child and the perfect parents should be able to be together without 15 agencies and invisible procedures getting in the way of someone living out their life in a crib and us feeling unrequited love towards a kid we don't even know. She patiently listened and then told me that my brain was never going to fix something that was really an emotional problem. That what i really needed to do was to let myself feel what i was feeling and to stop trying to make my brain fix it. She validated that the situation is messed up and that there are no answers, and potentially no solution...which meant a lot, but encouraged me to let Radames be there for me and to remember why we are married (b/c we are so perfectly different) and to give myself permission to mourn, to cry, and to stop fighting the inevitable. I hated her by the time we left. But she was right. There's nothing I can do. There's nothing I can say. There's no proposal or petition I can write. There's no logic that will solve the puzzle. It's a torturous waiting game, and i can either let it consume me or can i keep on living my life and treasure what i've got and be grateful for when that expands, if it does. That's where i'm trying to go. But i'm not there.

Pandora's Box Part 3

2009-05-20T00:01:00.000-04:00

...last night my nightamares woke me up again. The details are too graphic, but suffice it to say I was too scared to go back to sleep. I dont' know if it's because Ella's bday bash is over and I don't know what the next milestone I can throw myself into is (hence i'm starting to stew on the adoption again), or that our bags are packed and I just had to call and cancel our flights today, or if it was the frustration at our agency for not updating us on a call they had on Monday about the issue (after they told us they would and we are waiting for any morsel of news)...or if it's the sugar from the left-over birthday cake that i keep trying to drown my sorrows in that kept me up all night. But last night I lay there all night until the birds started to chirp, the sun started to come up, and the clocked rolled around to 7. It was the worst night i'd had so far. where I sat and comtemplated all night: how long do we wait? what if he's never going to be adoptable? should we wait another week? month? year? when do we ask for another referral? will people judge us for that? aren't we supposed to hold out for him? but how long do we? and what if the hold-out just ends up with us never getting him and then we have to ask for another referral anyway? do we end up just waiting longer? and that's what I stewed on for hours and hours and hours. And, to a certain degree, I'm still stewing on it.

Radames told me last week that we'd wait for 45 days. He decided that was the number, and that if the courts hadn't moved, hadn't made any announcement, hadn't given us any timeframes or prospects of when we'd know anything, that we'd ask for another Addison, as f-ed up as that is to say and think about. Well, I deferred to him and said yes, let's wait the 45 days. But, I'm having trouble doing it. I just keep wondering: are we stupid? is the writing on the wall? are we just delaying the inevitable? will we just be 45 more days behind? and will we miss getting a kid in '09 if we wait b/c the courts close for the rainy season in a few months? OMG will we have to redo our fingerprints and deal with NVC and the drama of the missing paperwork again if we drag this out past oct when it expires again? Compound that with: how emotionally connected are we to who we think is Addison? why are we so connected? he's not really ours, is he? is the next addison not a legitimate orphan too? does he deserve a home any less than who we've matched with? what will happen with Addison if we give up on him and get a different kid instead? wouldn't he be adopted by another loving family if he becomes adoptable? And there, my friends, you have a recipe for mental torture like no guerilla terrorist can impose. And you have a recipe for wanting to beat the shit out of the 17-year-old trailor trash that you see in the Toys R Us chatting about her pregnancy with friends over a cigarette.

The answer is that there are no answers. No scenario is good. No scenario is the "magic solution." So then we just weigh the options, like switching lanes in traffic, hoping the other lane moves faster, but then realizing you're an ass for not just staying in the lane you were in to start with. That's how i feel. Like one road may be slower, but it will result in a son...while the other road could move fast, or it could move slow, or it could just entirely dead end and you realize you have to go back and drive down the other road anyway. The latter is starting to feel less and less appealing as I miss sleep, start give up hope (on the courts, not Addison), and consult with Radames and friends.

Today, we got to the point, out of personal desparation, that I called our agency and asked about the ramifications of getting a new referral. Toni acted surprised that we'd be at this point and said she has every hope that Addison will be ours soon, and that "the courts are just proving a point" (that they won't tolerate "irregularities"). She and the program's director seem to think this will be over soon and that they will go to court to petition for the 10 families' cases to be heard. But they can't petition yet, b/c the courts won't allow them to...and that it's only been 11 days...and that if we "give up" our referral and request another one, Addison would be assigned to someone else and then be adopted by them when his case is heard, she suspects. She said she really didn't know, because nothing like this has ever happened before, and that she had to talk to her boss about it. And then I got an email inviting us to a group conf call for the 10 families tomorrow so they can talk to us about what's next. I'm really glad they are doing that, b/c we all really need it. Maybe tomorrow I'll be more level-headed, but we'll probably be right back where we've been. In indefinite pergatory, rotting, stewing, second guessing.

So, there you have it. Meat and potatoes: several non-abandoned kids being put before the courts as abandoned kids, the courts saying hold up we've gotta get to the bottom of this, our agency assuring us that those issues have nothing to do with our kids who are all legit, us having no idea when the courts will finish their investigation and re-schedule our cases, no idea of any timeframes or milestones, and us...well, me...being a basket case along the way. I wish I had more to say. I wish I had more upbeat news.

I will just say, though, that i know i have the best friends and husband and most amazing daughter on the planet. And that we are dealing with a top-rate agency that has a great relationship with the courts and is doing what they realistically can to be our advocates in a less-than-ideal situation. And I know that my over-analyzing things is not productive in any way. Every day I'm working on reminding myself of all of those things. And today I realized (thanks, MF) that I really need to focus on my own emotional and physical well-being and not what others may think or say. I probably need to avoid the co-miserating with the other 9 families on line, per Radames' request 10 days ago! :) And i need to stop wondering about the external ramifications about doing what is best for our family. And i need to not be so paranoid about sharing. By the way, if you are a Smarty Pants client friend, have no fear. You have no idea how great of a job I'll be doing on your business. Intellectual challenges are my best friends these days. :) Ha! See.

Thanks again, everyone, for all of the support and wishes. We love you and can't wait to pass along some better news.

Is It Over Yet?

2009-05-09T10:27:00.003-04:00

Today was the first day I've woken up in years that as soon as I opened my eyes I just wanted the day to be done. I wanted nothing more than to fall back asleep and never wake up. Radames and I looked at each other and knew...and the pit in the bottom of my stomach and the tears that wanted to roll out of my eyes were still there. Still so exceptionally heartbroken and confused and zombie-like. So dispassionate about the day and life and so full of questions. Why didn't the pain go away in our sleep last night like we were sure it would?! Damnit, why do we still feel like this? Why is all of this happening? Maybe it's what's right? Maybe Addison really isn't abandoned? Maybe the courts know something we don't? Maybe we'll get a call on Tuesday that the case is back on? Maybe it's not supposed to ever be back on? What IS his backstory? Why would his mother have abandoned him? Why didn't she relingquish home so they know her identity and he can still be adopted? What happens if we wait for months? Do we get matched with another kid? Would he still be our little Addison? Why are we so attached to a kid that's a million miles away and we've never even met? Why was he chosen for us? Why are we being so selfish? Why did another load of Restoration Hardware and Pottery Barn boxes just arrive at our doorstep...just to rub salt on our wounds? Why are we not focused on Ella right? How must the other families who don't have an Ella feel right now? How quickly could we fly there and just kidnap him? What's the worst they could do to us? If we went to jail would it just feel like what Addison is destinited to feel like anyway? Was his mother bribed? Was she scared of being identified because she shamefully had him out of wedlock? What if, heaven forbid, he was taken from her? Will we ever know? Why are ours brains going there? Shouldn't we just relax and have faith that the local courts know what their doing? Why do I insist on solving everything? Why is my heart still so broken even after I've been fed and had my nap and been changed? Maybe I'm the one who needs to be adopted!? Maybe this is because we need to experience loss so that we can know how Addison felt when he was separated from his mom and how he'll feel when he has to leave all his friends and family at House of Hope? What are we going to do? Damnit! Make the pain go away!!!!

The Darkest of Days

2009-05-08T23:36:00.002-04:00

Today we got word that Addison's case was not heard and that they have no idea when and if it will be because the judge decided to not hear any more cases involving abandoned kids in Addis Ababa orphanages b/c another agency presented suspicious abandonment cases to the courts earlier in the week. We have no more info, are beyond sad and exhausted, and aren't feeling very optimistic. We'll write more later, once we know more and have the energy. For now... no Addison and no trip as planned. We wait and maybe we...who knows...

How Suite It Is!

2009-05-06T23:43:00.002-04:00

We are so excited! Not only did we get to see video of Addison today, but we also got together enough points to book ourselves in a suite at the Sheraton Addis, which is a luxury resort in the first place. We are SO stoked, bc we'll have a big room and separate living room area and free breakfast, etc. This is a huge deal, bc I'm not-so-secretly having a panic attack every time I think of being in a strange place feeling powerless - literally powerless, as in electricity, in this case. I know that's so incredibly bratty and ridiculous, but I'm not embarrassed to say that I feel a lot more comfortable knowing we won't be holed up in a box with six giant suitcases, a new baby, a roll away crib, no mini-fridge with bottled water, trying to figure out what formula to use and how we can call Ella. And instead of wandering around the streets wondering where we can safely eat, we can take a swim in the pool and order a lunch in the executive lounge. Yes, I'm being obnoxious, I know! But I think this place might be as nice as where we spent our honeymoon! It's $950/night US$, if would would have had to pay cash for it! We might never leave the room. :)

A huge shout out and thanks to Barbara Z, Sara Beth H, Alison B, Michael D, Pam G for the starwood points! You will be the first to get a thank you card from Addison in his best 7-mo-old crayon scribble. :)

We've Been Crying All Day

2009-05-06T17:44:00.003-04:00

We have been in a state of happiness and tears all day here. Today we got to see our little boy live and in full color stereo. A woman who we met through an online group of people adopting in Ethiopia, Angela Carley, went over there to adopt a child herself and was able to video Addison while she was there. She e-mailed us the clips this morning and we have not been able to stop watching them. He is so beautiful. There is one clip of him just sleeping and he looks like an absolute angel. Another one has him laughing and smiling at the camera. Wynne and myself can't stop looking at it. It's as if he's smiling right at us. Thank you so much for doing this for us, Angela. You dont know how much this means to us and how it made our day.

Before he was just a picture and a little boy that was over there somewhere. But after seeing those videos, he became so real. It's as if we can reach through the screen and touch him. Ella came home from karate today and we showed her the videos. As soon as she saw them, she started waving at the screen and talking to him. The smile and tears on Wynne's face could not be erased as Ella was doing this. If all goes well and with God's blessing, he should legally become ours on Friday. We can't wait for us to embark on this amazing trip to bring our son home. And if all goes according to plan, I should be able to hold my son on May 25th which also happens to be my birthday. I can't think of a better gift for a human being to recieve on their birthday. Addison, we're almost there, son.......

It's Starting to Become Real

2009-05-04T00:21:00.004-04:00

It's all starting to become quite real! Now that all of our paperwork is there, we got to focus this weekend on the fact we will actually have a son soon. Friday is the big day! If all goes as planned, we'll be the proud new absentee parents of little Addison. Woo Hoo!

We updated our packing list today and started packing his suitcase full of all the little goodies we've bought and gotten from friends. We've got 80 gDiaper inserts and his new little gDiaper pants crammed in along side swimming diapers, cereal, baby food, bowl, spoons, formula, bottles, socks, outfits, blankets, butt cream, hats, wipes, etc. I'm so proud of us for being meticulous, space saving packers. :)

We're also doing a really good job with Ella. We spent this morning listening to her cry about how she's scared that we won't love her anymore once Addison comes. It was important for us to listen and validate her and be totally honest with her about how things will change while reassuring her that we could never love her an ounce less.

We are planning a big luau for her birthday less than a week before we leave, but I wouldn't have it any other way. I really just don't want her 5th bday to get swept under the rug in the pre-departure melee. She's so amazing, and we are so in love with her. I don't want to ever forget her 5th bday. There are over 100 people coming to our house! But by the end of the day today, she decided that she didn't want any presents, but instead just wanted to save up her money (and any spare change her friends might want to donate to her) and buy Addison a welcome home gift. I'm so glad. The gift giving stuff is just too much...and how much more could she really need? This process is really reminding us what matters and what doesn't, and we haven't even made the trek across the planet yet.

Great News!

2009-05-01T12:32:00.002-04:00

The embasssy in Ethiopia FINALLY has all of our final visa and fingerprint info that the USCIS and NVC have been saying they've sent but no one in ET could track down! That's it! We are finally complete in terms of everything we can provide/do to make the process complete. Barring something unforeseen that is out of our hands, in ONE WEEK from today, Addison will go to court with our agency rep and legally be ours! It's so hard to believe, but yep...on May 8th is the big day, and today is already May 1st! Woo Hoo! Shout outs to the Immigrant Visa Chief in Addis Ababa. :)

Our last day at Smarty Pants will be two weeks from today. Then we'll have the week to pack up, get our lives together, do things like map out our travel plans and buy all the things we don't even know we need...and then hop aboard Ethiopian Air. We leave on the 23rd if all goes as planned. Cross your fingers for us. We are SO happy today!

Still Waiting

2009-04-21T23:12:00.002-04:00

CIS is saying that they USPS Priority Mailed to the National Visa Center our updated visa 37/approvals, but NVC is STILL saying they haven't received it...a week later! This is so friggin' frustating b/c we can't go pick up Addison without Ethiopia having the approval in hand, and the damn NVC people can't re-send it to Ethiopia if they don't have it or can't find it. Somebody shoot me! These gov't agencies need to get their shi-ite together!

Does It Ever End? Pt. 2

2009-04-17T00:43:00.004-04:00

Yesterday we spent our afternoon dealing with both the US CIS and the NVC offices to try to find out why in the world Ethiopia still doesn't have our approvals. NVC (the national visa cabling service) first said that they emailed the approvals to ET, then they said that they sent hard copies (which is required), then they said that it's Ethiopia's fault the stuff isn't there. They sent us back to CIS (immigration folks that issue our approvals) and they said that the NVC people only received hard copies from them (not email copies as NVC said) and that if NVC didn't get them cabled to Ethiopia properly then they'd have to re-request the original hard copies. It was the biggest debacle that is still not resolved. All we know is that NVC did re-request the approvals this morning, so that's a good thing. Now if they can just get them in hand and ship them off to AA where they belong, we could sleep a little easier.

It's so frustrating b/c all of these are US agencies - one of which won't talk to you on the phone after being on hold FOREVER and trying to navigate a bunch of # options that don't match up with your needs and both of which have no clue what they are talking about and just blame each other for everything. A third world country's beaurocracy is looking pretty good these days. :)

The good news is that these papers are needed until our final appt on the 28th of May, and our agency keeps telling us that we have plenty of time. These papers don't effect the adoption proceedings which happen on May 8th, thank goodness.

On a much happier note, we had five friends jump in to offer us Starwood points for our hotel! Huge thanks and shout outs go to Sara Beth H from Smarty Pants, Michael D from MTV, Allison B from Nickelodeon, Pam G from Wrigley, Barbara Z from Smarty Pants. We have a few other friends checking to see if they have enough points to give us. :) You guys are THE BEST!

Other progress we're making: Radames pulled out our four biggest suitcases that are now strategically positioned against the wall in the basement (you just have to laugh), we got three more docs notarized this week, we got in touch with the malaria hotline at the CDC (how sad are we that this makes us happy), we got our 2008 taxes done and out the door!, we got our sit and stroll (car seat and stroller in one) back from ganna, and we started making nightly notes and task lists on color coded notecards to alleviate the daytime bickering! That's a big one. And Addison turned 6 months old on Sunday. How could we forget that one? :)

Does It Ever End?

2009-04-13T23:06:00.002-04:00

Today we got an email from our consultant that Ethiopia doesn't have a record of our updated CIS approval. This is the same issue we had before...and they finally found it when they looked a second time. They keep telling us they don't have a petition for the Rodriguez family. But legally, I'm the petitioner, so it would be under Tyree. I'm assuming that's the problem again. Hopefully we'll hear from our consultant tomorrow that they find it when they look under Tyree, rather than Rodriguez. Radames called the National Visa Center today and they said it was sent to Ethiopia on March 22nd, so it has to be there. Jeez

Aside from that, things are clipping along nicely. The nursery looks adorable and we got another round of vaccinations last week. We have an appt. with a notary tomorrow to get a few more docs notarized, and we got our taxes done for this year. Now we just have to redo a few of our financial declarations docs and have them notarized, too. We'll maybe get to that next week when our accountant has time for us.

We also went away for the Easter weekend, which was nice, b/c we actually got to be a family for a change. We've been arguing so much that we really needed to walk around and make fun of people in Gatlinburg to reconnect. :) just kidding. It was nice though. We went ice skating, went to an amazing aquarium, stayed at a hilarious Christmas-themed hotel, went swimming in the hotel pool, ate at local dives, took a tram up a mountain as it swung in the breeze, shopped for clothes for our trip and for Addison, and had a nice time chit chatting with Ella. She bought some "jewels" (aka rocks) in a gift shop, so we used them at meals to play sharing games. For each rock we put in the middle to person had to say something. Radames and I sadly used rocks to play the "things I could do differently to make sure we quite arguing" game as Ella ate chicken fingers and the "how I'm feeling about this whole process" game as said "can we PLEASE leave this place!?". It was really enlightening, as corny as it sounds. :)

Just let Addison get here already! We bought him the cutest little outfit for our final visa appt at the embassy, so we're ready. :)

We're Connected

2009-04-07T18:57:00.006-04:00

Well, today we crossed over into the other world of the adoption life - we got linked up with others from our agency via an online group. This is something we've avoided doing for a while, since we've been busy with work and, honestly, I just haven't had time to make chit chat about things that are still unknown.

Well, we're now officially "friends" with 8 other couples that are also adopting from Ethiopia through CHI, each one with our same court date and visa appointment/pick-up dates. :) It's really exciting to now be part of a group of 9 families that will all be traveling together. Radames and I are feeling way less alone in the journey simply because of their emails, posts and our little spreadsheet of "the May 28th visa appointment pack". Through our online dialogue, we've already had someone offer to take pictures of Addison for us while they are there (from an earlier travel group).

We also had a great conversation with our agency rep today who helped us demystify a lot of outstanding docs we still need to do/re-do. My brain is getting ready to explode, but information is a good thing these days.

We also made a lot of progress with the travel agency that CHI uses and recommended. It was SO nice to not be talking to the American Airlines or US Airways fool who has no clue about adoption travel. They knew exactly what we were doing, asked when our court dates were, when our visa appointment was, etc. and gave us a lot of good advice on planning, tix, fares, etc. That's a major relief!

Right now, our plan is to leave out of Dulles (in DC) on Sunday morning May 24th. We get there on Monday morning b/c of the time change. It's a direct flight!!! That's why we're going to just put all of our shit in the Acura and drive for 6 hours to DC. It'll be so much easier than driving four hours to ATL to then have to connect in London or Dubai or Frankfurt. And then we'll return from Addis on Sunday night the 31st and arrive DC on Monday morning the 1st of June. You have no idea how psyched we are to have gotten connected with them today and to now have a non-29-hour flight (both ways) in store. The flight is on Ethiopian Air, which seemed a little too rickety for my travel elitist ass, but we checked out the virtual tour of the airplane online, and it's awesome. You can see it at Ethiopianairlines.com and then click on "our luxury 787 Dreamliner to Ethiopia". We are so chillin' on that bad boy! Ethiopian Air, here we come.

Things are Moving Along Nicely

2009-04-03T23:53:00.003-04:00

The time is approaching. It's so hard to believe. It is really going to happen! Our court date is still set for May the 8th. We haven't heard of any changes or issues, so we're all set to be the legal parents of Addison on May 8th, 2009. Yep, his name will be Addison. We are still deciding on the middle name, but we are leaning toward Everett.

Addison is because he is our son from Addis (Addis Ababa is the full name of the city, but people often call it Addis). That's where we will pick him up, where he was found (although that seems callous to say), and probably where he was born. The name also means "son of Adam", and we like that because it ties back to the original man, which according to all known scientific evidence, actually came from Ethiopia. The fossil remains of "Lucy", the oldest skeleton remains of a human being (yes, she's almost 4 million years old), are located in Addis Ababa in the national museum. We feel like it's a name he can be proud of and that will always link him back to where he came from - ethnically and regionally. We already have a big letter A on his nursery door.

Yep, the nursery is now done. That was the project for last week that had Radames and I on the verge of a divorce. Terrance painted most of the walls for us and hung up the drapes, thank goodness. Radames and I could not have been any more at each other's throats re: paint spills, why the crib still wasn't put together, etc. Note to self...do not try to work on nursery with husband if you are anal and your husband is not...you will inevitably end up wondering why you married each other.

The room is so adorable now, though. The walls are tan and everything in there is baby blue and chocolate brown. We got everything at Restoration Hardware's Baby and Child...it's the Cloud collection at rhbabyandchild.com. So adorable! All that's missing is a baby!

We also got 4 updated pictures of Addison last week. They are SO amazing. He looks like a whole different kid. So much older. There's one of him in a little bouncy contraption grinning from ear to ear and you can just totally see his personality. I wish so badly we could share the pics. That's the crappy part about this process.

So now we're in the midst of starting to plan travel. We are being told that our embassy visa appointment date that we have to attend (and then fly home the next day or two) will probably be May 28th. Yikes! That means we'll probably leave on the 23rd or so, and be there from Mon to Mon. But Ella turns 5 on the 21st of May, and of course I want her to have a big party, Radames turns 39 on the 25th, Ella's preschool graduation is on the 26th, and work will be crazy busy in May, so the timing is not ideal. But if I went into labor at that time, I guess we'd re-arrange everything anyway, so I won't complain. If the 28th doesn't happen, then it'll be June the 11th...and we'll go on like 6th or 7th of June or something. The crazy part is that we can't book our plane ticket until like 5-10 before we leave (bc that's when they do the final confirmation on the visa appointment), so that has me beside myself with uneasiness. I don't like the idea of not knowing exactly when we leave. And being the travel elitist that I am, my worst fear is that we are stuck in the back of coach near the toilet with a new baby who thinks we've kidnapped him. Dear Lord, let first class please still be available when we can book our flight.

On the hotel front, we are able to use Starwood points to stay at the Sheraton, so that's great. And if we change the dates, there's no penalty or drama. And I think we have enough to stay the whole time, but if anyone who'd like to make a "charitable" donation of SPG points to the Tyree-Rodriguez Sheraton fund, we'd love you for it. It's possible to transfer them over, but we'll have to tell you how.

We're getting more vaccinations this week, too. So that makes me feel like we're making progress. And we just finished up our taxes this week, which is a big relief b/c we have to take copies of our tax returns and all forms, supporting evidence of our income, etc. with us! So ridiculous! But since we don't get to make the rules, I'm just happy that those are done.

We also need to either start to buy things or register for things. We still don't own a carseat, stroller, bottle, diaper, pacifier (ugh! we never used a pacifier with ella, so that's freaking me out), formula (don't even get me started on that one. that is totally scaring me too, b/c ella only ever drank from the...well, you know), clothes, and whatever else kids need. We can't even remember, we are so disconnected from infancy now. Good thing is that he'll be about 7 1/2 months old when we get him, so he'll probably already be eating some foods. But if anyone knows of a website where we can have a registry that pulls for a bunch of other sites that would be so cool and convenient. I'd love to register for everything from a bottle to a cutesy Obama t-shirt. I saw a funny one on cafepress.com. And there's an adorable one that says "Does this shirt make me look Ethiopian?" on it that i'm dying to get. :)

I think that's all of the updates for now. We'll keep you posted. :) Addis Ababa, here we come. Only about 50 days left until we leave. Woo Hoo! Can't wait to hop on the Brangelina express flight. :)

FINALLY!!!

2009-03-16T16:31:00.002-04:00

Today, we got the letter that we have been waiting for. After all the great e-mails and follow-up letters by Wynne, we finally got the approval for our I-600A extension. I went to the mailbox and saw that we had recieved a letter from USCIS and I started getting nervous and excited at the same time. As I'm coming into the house, I'm opening up the letter, fumbling nervously awaiting what new hoops the government was going to make us do now. I opened it and I read the magic words that we were waiting for: APPROVAL!! I ran right into our bedroom and showed it to Wynne with a big smile. She read it and we hugged and kissed. It's finally coming to fruition. Short of an act of God, we will be able to pick up our son in two months. Now we have to start getting his room and figure out things like what color to paint it, what furniture do we need, and how long it's going to take me to put together Ella's old crib for him. Oh well, it's all good because our family will be growing by one really soon.

He's at House of Hope Now!

2009-03-13T02:34:00.001-04:00

So, we got an email today that our little one has been moved to the House of Hope. That's our agency's "carriage house" where the babies are moved from their orphanages for their "pick up" from thier new moms and dads. Most travelers from our agency also stay there at the HOH so they can bond 24/7 with their new babies. It's basically the meeting place that our agency runs. But kids don't get brought there unless "it's time"...which is exciting because it means he's officially in our agency's care now (which will mean better care), he's officially just hanging out and waiting for us :( and it also means we'll probably get more regular pics of him.

It's really exciting, b/c it's just another step in bringing us together. He's actually more ready than us now...since we're still waiting for the doggone CIS approval extension.

We also got updated medicals on him today. Our agency retested him for everything. His white blood cell counts are still slightly high, but like 16, when they should be like 8-12. Ella's are probably 20 this week as she hacks up who-knows-what, so we won't complain. And our doctor already told us that WBC are not correlated in any way with any chronic illnesses. They are basically elevated to ward off infections, which could be from anything from a bugbite to diaper rash. Who knows. We're just happy that he's at HOH now and that we got new medicals on him. :) He's perfect.

Cross Your Fingers for Us

2009-03-07T01:12:00.002-05:00

So today we mailed back to CIS the addendum to the updated homestudy that we had to have our social worker do because she didn't write exactly what they wanted in the updated homestudy. Cross your fingers that we've now been so overly specific that they'll have no choice but to extend our original approval. At this point, it's just simply ridiculous.

We just really need them to send us an "okay, here's your updated approval to bring your son into the country" letter already. Is it really our fault that the process has taken so long that we even have to request the approval extension? This is just so emotionally fatiguing. It would be really nice to think about our son rather than the fact that our approval has now expired.

At this point, we just can't really emotionally invest in the fact that we'll soon have another child. It's sad because we now know who he is and he's sitting and waiting for us, and we still don't know if we're going to be able to bring him home...until we get the next letter from these gov't fools. We have three or four boxes of brand new stuff for his nursery sitting in the boxes in his room, but we haven't even opened the boxes because we just can't emotionally go there yet.

Jeez. Can we just be done already!? And it doesn't help when Radames jets out at 5 o'clock to make sure the paperwork gets out to the CIS office on Monday and the racist idiot who works at the post office says, "Oh, are you applying for your citizenship?" as Radames hands him the packet to overnight. Radames nicely said, "No, I'm not." I would have gone off on the guy. I'm still fuming just thinking about it. But then again, that's why Radames goes to do these things instead of me. These things infuriate me. Ditto on the trailor park bi-otch who said to Radames, "Uh, were you born in this country?" as we checked in at the local health department where we had to go to get our hepatitis and menengoccocul (sp?) vaccines. I almost went off on the chic. Hence Radames handles all local interactions... :)

Ridiculous Bureaucracy

2009-02-28T21:24:00.003-05:00

We'd been in panic mode about getting our immigration paperwork extended before it expires on 2.28.09. We got our new home study done and sent away the most beautiful and perfect packet of every goodie possibly imaginable on the 17th of Feb.

Well, we got the government's response letter back on Wednesday, and lo and behold, they did not approve our petition. They said that our homestudy "failed to address that the petitioner's home continues to conform to state regulations" and that our old home study said we wanted a 0-12 month old healthy boy and that this one made reference to a 0-15 month old boy. The second one is legit and is an error on our social worker's part. The first one is just beyond ridiculous. I was fuming. But what's new with this process.

We now have had our social worker write up another addendum and now we wait for it to get notarized and approved by the agency and then sent to us and then we send to CIS and then we wait again. Hopefully they'll say we're good to go. If not, we're really screwed because we obviously can't bring him home if we don't have gov't clearance to bring an immigrant into the country. We wouldn't even be allowed to travel there until our gov't has cabled the approval to their gov't.

Jeez Louise! Make this paperwork and approval nonsense end already. There's a kid waiting for us in a third world orphanage. Hello!

We Got Our Dates! Woo Hoo!

2009-02-20T21:09:00.002-05:00

We got an email from our agency today that our court date for little boy blue is finally set. May 8th is the big day. A representative from CHI that we've signed over power of attorney to will be going to the court for us. We don't have to go there on this day. But after this day, he will legally be ours in the Ethiopian courts eyes. :)

We then have to wait 3 weeks or so for him to get his travel visa, which allows us to bring him home. We do have to be there for his visa appt, b/c we're his parents, and we have to be there to legally request his travel docs. The visa appointments are only on Thursdays, so our date is tentatively, according to our agency, Thursday the 4th of June! That means we'll travel to Ethiopia at the very end of May/first couple of days of June. We have to be there for the 5th, and ideally settled, bonded, etc. and ready to travel back on the 6th or 7th.

Everyone cross your fingers that these days stick. The way the courts work is that they can just change the dates/postpone at any time, for no reason whatsoever. It'll really suck if these aren't the real dates, because it's already almost 5 months past our match date that we get to pick him up.

Another Frustrating Week of Waiting

2009-02-13T18:17:00.002-05:00

This has been another crazy week of waiting and disappointments for us. We are still waiting for our new homestudy report to get written and finalized, but our social worker is telling us that she found out that she has to check the national registry of child abusers before finalizing it. The goofballs in the Nashville state registry office - only one guy, mind you - just don't seem to have time to pull our records, so we are still just waiting and waiting as our previous approval gets closer to expiration and our new approval can't happen without the updated homestudy...which can't happen without the new registry clearance. Every day has been this powerless frustration of wanting to move things along, but we can't. The good news is that none of this is effecting our wait time, from what we understand. Ethiopia has no clue we are doing all this, so they are still moving full steam ahead on their end. If everything works out perfectly, we'll get the home study report next week, mail it off to CIS and then they'll say "congrats, your approval has been extended" and we'll just keep on keeping on.

When will this ever end!? Is it all just an evil, beaurocratic plot to distract us from sitting around and counting the days until we can go to Ethiopia?

NO! Say it Can't Be So!

2009-02-01T18:25:00.001-05:00

So, this should be the week that we are celebrating the fact that we've accepted our referral and everything is moving along nicely.

We knew there was an outstanding detail to be taken care of, which was to have our immigration clearance extended. In short, CIS has already approved us to bring our son into the country. But the approval is only good for 18 months. And because it's now been almost 18 months, we have to apply for a free extension, which should just be a formality.

Well, we sent off our extension request a week or so again, and this week got a letter back that said...well, the details are boring...but in essence we finally got in touch with someone via email (because they won't pick up the phone!) that said we can't get an extension unless we have an updated homestudy! Okay, so that is the worst news ever!

The homestudy is the final write up from the social workers and adoption agencies that includes any and every detail of your life - financial, physical, mental, historical, educational, etc. - plus the details of home visits they do. When you go through the process to compile everything it takes about 3-4 months! It involves everything from getting notarized letters from your local sherriff's office that state you have no criminal record to having your doctors offices write and notarize letters that state they've cleared you mentally and physically and that they recommend you as adoptive parents to having your accountant write and notarize statements that detail out all of your finances...and they have to match your financial declarations and tax statements to the penny or they aren't valid. Hearing that we'd have to do all of this all over again...and by the time the end of Feb rolls around, was the biggest blow ever! How could they expect this? Why did no one tell us we'd have to do this? How are we ever going to get all of this done all over again in a matter of weeks!? It involves dozens of people doing things they don't want to do for no pay...and a level of detail that warrants a PhD at the end for everyone involved.

We got in touch with our social worker (who does the home visits) and our program leader at CHI, and they both said they'd do whatever they could to help move the process along. We're just still so pissed that we didn't see this coming. And this should be the relaxing homestretch and here we are again at square one, but doing it under amazingly ridiculous time constraints that have us up all night, with papers all over the house, and quite frankly...at each other's throats out of frustration and resentment about the process. The good news is that our social worker has agreed to come on Thursday to redo our home visit. She has to write up the the home study, so getting her on board asap is critical. Jeez, are we really back to cleaning up the house, mapping out our family fire evacuation plan, checking all the batteries in the smoke detectors and...most importantly, acting like we live in a calm, relaxing house that would be welcoming to an infant!? Is this for real?

The Joys of Naming our Son

2009-02-01T14:15:00.001-05:00

This morning began with us brainstorming for a middle name. We've already decided on the first name, but we had thought we'd keep his birth name as his middle name, just out of respect. Now that we know that we'll never know his real birth name, we've gotta come up with a middle name. And if you've ever bounced ideas around with Radames, you know that it was a most hilarious adventure. He migrated from Castro to Smokey as I laughed hysterically. He also seriously threw out Coletrain (as in Miles) and Hendrix (yes, as in Jimmy). I'm sure he thought my ideas were just as ridiculous, but nothing topped Ella's contributions once she joined in the morning brainstorming party. She recommended (First Name) Left Foot Tyree-Rodriguez and then opted instead for (First Name) Bacon Tyree-Rodriguez. Now do we live in the South or what!? Good times. :)

We Said Yes

2009-01-29T23:55:00.000-05:00

After conferring with our dr and dropping off his medicals at Ella's pediatrician, too, we're feeling like there's not a lot left to think about. So, on Wednesday, we checked the "approved" box and Fed Ex'ed our yes away to Children's Hope International. :) So exciting! Is this real!?

They received it on Friday the 30th and said we're a go. Next steps are that the Ethiopian office of CHI starts to translate our dossier and petition the court for a court date. Toni (our consultant) said our court date will probably be in early April. We've signed a power of attorney that gives our agency rep there the right to go to court on our behalf and legally adopt our son for us. Then, once he's adopted and ours, we wait about 3 weeks to get his visa for him to travel home with us. We travel over a few days before he gets his visa and then leave with him a few days after, when we're ready. We only have to stay there about 6-7 days. It'll probably be towards the end of April or in early May, if we're doing the math correctly. Woo Hoo!

What the Doc Said

2009-01-27T22:23:00.000-05:00

Our first order of biz today was to get to our doctor and share all of our son's medical records with her and get her to tell us what it all means. Our referral information came with pictures, all of the basics about where he was found, on what date, his (estimated) birthday, his habits so far, and three pages of medical tests. Our "job" between now and when we decide to "accept" the match is to do all of our homework on him based on everything they know and that we now have.

He's negative for HIV, Hepatatis, and all the other big chronic diseases we'd be super concerned about (which is why he was even referred to us in the first place - we only requested a healthy boy) and all of his bloodwork looked good. His white blood cell count was high, so that's one key thing we had questions about.

Well, our doctor said that everything looks great, and that white blood cell counts that are high are very common, are basically a sign that he either had or has or is getting an infection. She said there's no direct correlations between elevated WBC counts and any chronic diseases. She also said that drinking cow's milk (which is his diet right now) can elevate a baby's WBC. Our agency already told us they are going to re-check him anyway, but this definitely made us feel better.

I asked a million questions to our dr, in my classic information-hungry fashion, and Radames just kind of sat there and stared at both of us. We got perscriptions for a bunch of immunizations we should get before going to Africa (Malaria, Typhoid, Hep A, Hep B, Yellow Fever and i can't even remember what else). We then left and went out side to process it all. I asked Radames how he was feeling about what she said and if he was feeling like we should approve the referral and make it a done deal. He just sort of looked at me innocently and semi-confused and said, "I don't even know what you people were talking about in there...he was already my son before we came here." That's why I love him! And he's right...sometimes facts aren't the best way to a make a decision. :)

January 26th, 2009 - The Call We've Been Waiting For

2009-01-26T22:17:00.003-05:00

It's about 3:30PM when our business phone rings. I dont pay too much attention because I am thinking Wynne or Terrance will answer it. Wynne answers it and calls for me telling me it's Toni. I'm thinkng, "Who is Toni?" Wynne comes down to the basement with the phone and it's Toni, our adoption representative. She asks us how we are doing and beigins by saying, " Before I tell you anything, I have to get some legal stuff out of the way." She tells us the legal junk before she finally says, "Congratulations. You have a three and a half month old, healthy, baby boy waiting for you." Wynne and I just look t each other with a look of absolute confusion. Is this really happening? I am expecting this call to come on a Friday, not on a Monday afternoon. 3 boys had been referred on Friday, so we were up to bat. But we were not expecting it to come so soon. we thought we had to wait at least another month. If you would have seen us, all you would have seen was smiles as wide as they could humanly be on Wynne's and my face.

OMG! We're #1 Now!

2009-01-24T22:10:00.000-05:00

So, on our weekly update yesterday, we found out that three healthy infant boys were matched this week! Unless our math skills are slipping...YIKES!...that means we're next on the list of families waiting for a boy! Woo Hoo! Oh my goodness, that means we could literally get a call any day now. As soon as the next healthy infant boy needs a family, we'd be next on the list! Stay tuned...

They Found It!

2009-01-21T22:48:00.000-05:00

We got an email from our agency today that they forwarded from Ethiopia. They have our Visa 37 afterall! This is SO major. We had 4 days of inordinate stress, while trying to be professional at a conference in FL, only for them to say, "oh, we found it" as if it were no big deal. This is the biggest relief! Just the thought of how we would even begin to replicate the process made me want to start injecting IVF drugs asap.

My friend Stephanie told me to tell them to hurry up and give us our son before they misplace him. It made us laugh. Goodness knows we needed it. It is kind of hiliarous thinking about it. Especially when we got an email that said the wait time from match to travel is now looking like 4 months, because there only 2 judges in the entire country that hear adoption cases and that they are getting backlogged. Crazy!

Devastating News

2009-01-17T22:16:00.001-05:00

So on the weekly update from our agency today, we not only heard that this is the fourth week that there were no referrals, but we also got an email from our program leader that said our Visa 37 wasn't at the consulate in Addis Ababa. Okay, so in regular people's lingo, that basically means that our dossier that we worked almost a year to complete and get every piece of paperwork approved (and that they'll open when we finally get matched)...that should have been sitting in Ethiopia for quite a while...is not even in the country!!! I got the email after 5pm while driving home from Ella's school that said "Ethiopia does not show you have a file there". By the time I got home, Radames was on hold with the National Visa Center already. We both just looked at each other and didn't say a word and almost burst into tears in each other's arms. All we could think about it is how we're 2 year in and the rug has been pulled out from under us and that we might have to start over again b/c some fool lost our dossier as it got cabled from DC to Ethiopia.

Radames had to leave to take Ella to her karate testing for a new belt. I stayed at home on hold only be told by the NVC that our file had been sent to the Ethiopian consulate months ago and that it wasn't their problem if they didn't have it...and if it weren't there that we'd have to have our agency call USCIS (which is the US citizenship and immigration service; the former INS) and that they would have to "re-request the visas be cabled to Ethiopia." CIS then has the NVC send it to Ethiopia. Now i have no idea what the hell a cable even is...let alone how you re-cable something that's an original, but whatever. All I knew is that there was nothing we could do about it until at least Tuesday (b/c Monday was MLK day) and we had to stew on this with no info for three days!

I missed Ella's karate testing, which devastated me, and we just spent the night sort of speechless and depressed. Then I started to think optimistically about it and realized that (1) the only reason they even know that it's not there is because our agency knows we're on deck and is now doubling checking that everything is where it should be and (2) at least we are finding this out now, rather than once we get our referral and are delayed while we get it resolved. If we can get to the root of it, we can get it resolved before the match even happens.

To make myself feel better, I wrote an email back to our agency and said, PLEASE tell the consulate to look under another name...Tyree or Rodriguez or Radames...or Tommie Tyree...any and all iterations of our name...and that maybe they've just overlooked it and PLEASE call CIS first thing on Tuesday morning to get it re-sent.

Please let our file re-appear! It's too much to handle.

No Referrals for Three Weeks :(

2009-01-11T02:14:00.002-05:00

This week's update (from our adoption agency) was a bummer. For the third week in a row, there have been no referrals. :( We were hoping that we'd hear something, but no such luck. We're fine about it though, because we know it'll happen at the right time. And we're just being patient and using this chance to tell people and talk more to Ella about it. The past week we've spent a lot of time explaining that her little bother will be black. She's been pretty disillusioned about it, b/c she thinks her new baby brother should look like her, mommy or daddy. We're whipping out all the 4-year-old appropriate explanations of some pretty deep stuff - the concept of adoption, the concept of interracial adoption, and...well, we haven't gotten to the international/Ethiopian thing yet, bc her concept of geography is about as sophisticated as "I live in Tennessee...in the Ridges." She doesn't even know she lives in the US. And honestly, the geography lesson is a little less important than helping her understand we're still gonna love her even if she's not our only child and that some babies come from their mommy's tummy and some don't. Anyhoo...we've got plenty to do - from learning Amharic in our "spare time" to reading our cultural sensitivity manuals to continuing the dialogue with Ella to telling all our friends to getting a bunch of vaccinations and on and on. We're sure there will be more referals soon. The drought tends to be followed by a deluge, so it'll happen soon. The wait time for a boy referral is 6-9 months after being put on the list and we've already been on the list 6 1/2 months.

We Told Radames' Family

2009-01-07T02:03:00.001-05:00

We went to New York last week, and we had a great time. We told Radames' parents and extended family and they couldn't have been happier for us. They were so sweet and congratulatory about the news. We also got to meet up with a lot of friends and tell them about our adoption plans. Everyone that we had time to tell was super sweet to us. It felt good to start to tell people, b/c it's making it seem more real. We'd just love to have people know before we send out a picture of kid and say "hey, here's our new baby!" That's kinda funny thinking about. :)

We Started to Tell the Family

2008-12-26T03:46:00.004-05:00

Well, we're down to #4 on the boy list (23 overall) and the referral call could come any day. So... this Christmas/New Year's break is the time to tell our families and friends. I (WT) told most of my family on Saturday night at our little Christmas get-together, and they were less than excited. They pretty much said nothing and haven't brought it up since. Oh well...what can you do. Next on the docket is to tell Radames parents. Radames has no idea how they'll react. They'll probably have a million questions, b/c adoption isn't very common in Spanish culture.

Then, the next steps is to let all of our friends and extended families know. That'll be excting, because I'm sure they'll be supportive and sweet about it. We'd like to let people know before the referral comes in, which could be as early as the week of the 5th of Jan! yikes! We're counting the minutes! :)

Got The Call, But Not THE Call

2008-12-18T23:24:00.003-05:00

So today at around 2:30PM, we recieved a call from our adoption agency representative. She was calling to make sure they had the right information regarding our placement. They have had 8 referrals already this week and it's not even Friday. So there could be more before they leave at noon tomorrow. She informed us that we are now #25 overall and #6 on the boys list and we are NUMBER ONE if they get a boy that is between 12-15 months old. The five families in front of us are all waiting for boys are only approved for 0-12-months-olds. (We are waiting for a boy 0-15 months.) SO we could get the BIG CALL as early as tomorrow. If we dont get it tomorrow, we more than likely will get it after the new year. Our rep told us that even their offices will be closed their offices in Ethiopia will be still getting referrals while they're on the holiday break. After our agency goes back to their offices on Jan. 5th, they will hopefully have a ton of referrals and we could be one of the lucky ones.

My head is already spinning because it is beginning to come to fruition. There will be another person with Ella, Wynne, and myself. Another person to add to our craziness. I am already thinking about changing diapers, making formula, setting a new bedtime, and hoping that Ella does not wake up when the kid wakes up in the middle of the night.

We told the Smarty Pants team

2008-12-16T00:04:00.000-05:00

Last night we told the SP team at our holiday get-together here in TN, and they were super supportive and nice about the whole thing. We were sort of nervous, b/c we haven't really told anyone yet and this was a big "coming out" party for us. It made it all feel quite real, and we even shed a few tears as we were telling people - something we hadn't done yet. Ella started to dance around in her Big Sister t-shirt and fairie skirt and everyone gave us lots of big hugs and told us how happy they were for us. It was really nice. We stayed up for a while just sharing some of the details and gabbing out the process. It was quite a relief to let people know finally. We have the best staff ever! Now we just have to tell our families. Yikes! Who knows how that will go.

About to let the kid out of the bag

2008-12-06T01:19:00.003-05:00

So, we've decided that when our staff comes in to town on the 15th-16th of Dec for an end of year get-together, we're gonna spill the beans. At that time, it'll be 5 months and 3+ weeks on the waiting list, and the wait time is 6-9 months - with boy requests leaning more to the six side. Yikes! We haven't figured out exactly how we'll tell everyone, but we're gonna do it. During the holidays we'll be telling our families and friends and co-workers. Oh, boy. I can only imagine. We're more nervous about our families, because they are going to have a harder time understanding. We're sure everyone will be happy for us, though. Well, we hope.

As of today, we're #40 on the overall list and #14 on the list of those not waiting for a girl or a sibling pair. Basically, there needs to be 13 other boys matched before we'd get our call. There were no referrals at all the last two weeks, so that hopefully means that a bunch will be coming in very soon. They tend to go in little waves - first a lot, then none, then alot again. There's been a 2-3 week "dry spell", so hopefully more will come in next week and we'll be below #10 when we tell people. We hate to tell them like 3 months before it even happens.

OMG! I'm so nervous about the thought of telling people. Radames has said that he wants me to bring it up at our company meeting...so I've gotta figure out a fun plan.

Referrals are Pouring In

2008-11-15T02:21:00.002-05:00

So for the last few weeks, the referrals have finally been rolling in. We've really just tried to put the adoption out of our minds, but now as the matches are being made, we're realizing it might actually happen! Our new fingerprints have been sent to Addis Ababa and there shouldn't be any problems with our dossier. So, it almost feels too good to be true that we're all up to date and that the referrals have been coming in for the last three weeks in a row. On 9/15 we were number 67 on the list, and since then it looks like about 23 kids have been referred. Yikes! Does that mean we could really be down in the 40's now!? There were only 26 people waiting for boys 0-15 months in front of us on the list on July 29th, so it could be that there are only 15 or so now! Yikes! Could this really be happening!? I mean could we really be getting a call one day in December or January or February to say our son is ready for us??? It doesn't even feel real right now. It's crazy to even think about it. But so exciting that things are moving along again, that's for sure.

Finally, some referrals

2008-10-07T00:27:00.004-04:00

Well, there were finally some new referrals last week. On Friday we were so happy to read that five new kids - 4 girls and 1 boy - were being referred. it has been 9 weeks since there had been any referrals, and, needless to say, we were not feeling so hot about the crazy delays in referrals. The courts were closed for the rainy season, but referrals were still supposed to be happening and they weren't. We're just so happy that things are picking back up. If my math is right, that brings us down to #62 overall and #26 on the boy list. Gosh, if there is a boy refferal or two each week, MAYBE we'll finally get matched 13 weeks from now. Jeez Louise, has it really been over a year and a half that we've been waiting to get a kid from a country that has millions of orphans dying from starvation every day!? It just seems so ridiculous. It's hard to even have any hope, given all the craziness that has gone on. I don't think it'll ever be real into he's in our arms.

70 and counting

2008-07-29T16:31:00.002-04:00

Today our social worker let us know we were #70 on the overall list and #27 on the list of people waiting for a boy 0-15 months old. Yipee. It's getting closer. (and pretty good considering we were #280 something on the waiting list for Vietnam).

We though we'd tell people when we first got on the waiting list, but it's been a month since that happened and we haven't moved too far down the list yet, so we're still just holding out a bit more. Maybe once we're number 5 or 10 on the list and the call could come any minute, we'll officially let the kitty out of the bag. :)

A close call

2008-07-21T17:01:00.000-04:00

Today our agency sent us an email notification that they had lost their Hague Accreditation. Yikes! That's basically the international license that countries use to say "yes, we'll agree to guidelines set out the Hague Treaty about how we'll handle children and international adoptions." For a long, convoluted reason that had something to do with some admins not following the proper notary procedures, the agencies accreditation wasn't renewed. Obviously that sent us into a tizzy, b/c no accreditation means no adoptions.

The good news is that Ethiopia is actually a country that doesn't abide by the Hague guidelines, and the agency's ability to continue adoptions from Ethiopia isn't in any way affected. That's a major relief, since we've already been waiting so long, and we already went through the Vietnamese drama that meant we needed to switch countries.

Hopefully, everything will be fine and our little son will be home with us soon. Will this ever end!? (or should i say, begin...)

We picked a name!

2008-07-13T20:08:00.001-04:00

So, today, we were driving to Myrtle Beach to do a little vacationing with the fam, and we had lots of time to just relax and talk. In all our ramblings, we talked again about our son's name. This topic is a tricky one, b/c we kind of want to be respectful and just let the kid keep his birth name, since everthing else in his world is changing. But then again we don't want to have a kid whose name is botched his whole life (oh, kinda like wynne and radames!).

Anyway, the way names work in Ethiopia is that the kid's first name is his chosen name and the last name is the father's first name. (Every name is about honor and family tradition and connection back to the dad and then mom.) So, when we leave Ethiopia, the kid will legally be Whatever Radames. Kinda funny, huh? We can make him be named whatever we want when we legally re-adopt him here, though, which we'll have to do.

Anyway, we've been struggling to figure out a given name that is somehow connected back to Ethiopia and that will have cultural meaning to his birth. But we do want something that sounds good with Tyree-Rodriguez, since that's already messed up enough as it is. Radames likes Miles (as in Davis), which i think is kinda cool, b/c it's also connected back to how many miles we'll have to travel to find him. :) He also likes Langston (as in Hughes) and Luca (don't ask!), Akeem (okay, i just can't be the mother of a kid named akeem!), Alexander (because he thinks it's powerful). I've been in the camp of something crusty and white like Holden or Devan. It was looking like it'd be Miles, because at least we can agree to that one.

So I was on YouTube watching more Addis Ababa videos and it totally came to me! It's the perfect name. I said it out loud and Radames said it was perfect, too. It's done. It's a great name. It's American and easy to pronounce but it's perfectly connected back to Ethiopia. I can't wait to share it, and it's meaning, but i won't spill the beans yet...in case some of you don't like it. We don't want to hear about it. :)

This is major. Finally having a name makes him feel more real. He's just been a bunch of paperwork so far, so finally having a name helps us wrap our heads around the fact we'll actually have another child soon. Yipee!

Yikes! The Travel Guide Arrived

2008-07-05T23:15:00.000-04:00

So, today the "Prepare for Your Trip to Ethiopia" guide arrived. It was only a week or so after our dossier was sent to Ethiopia, so it totally caught us by surprise. It seemed a little surreal that a trip to Ethiopia could be in our future. We spent all afternoon and evening reading it! There's some crazy stuff in there that we totally weren't prepared for - like the fact that I can't wear shorts there! That's the biggest crock of sexist shit I've ever heard! I yelling for like an hour about that. And then there's the 8500 ft. in the air altitude of the capital city we'll be going to. It's like two Denvers stacked on top of each other..and they recommend altitude sickness medicine b/c it's hard to breath there. So, compound 1000 degrees + no air + pants and long sleeves b/c I'm a woman, and I'm already having a virtual panic attack. Radames also made me read and re-read the line about "things happen on Ethiopian time and you have to be extremely patient". I've got a lot of prep work to do. Then there's the taking anything and everything you will need to take care of your child permanently, b/c they give you your child as soon as you get to the House of Hope. Technically, our son will already be ours when we get there, b/c we have signed over power of attorney to the agency to go to court for us and adopt him. (We just wait for a week or so for him to get his travel visa to get home with us.) So, we've gotta take diapers, formula (which we've never even used!), clothes, blankets, snacks, bottled water, lice medicine, scabies medicine, diaper rash med, etc. It's so friggin' overwhelming that Radames got a migraine and had to go to bed, and I just sat in the bathroom floor in some sort of drug addict coma trying to process it all. I mean the list of stuff we have to take is out of control! And then there's all the papers and what to sign and not sign and not to give to such and such a person but to only give to this person or what hours we can go back to the orphanage so we can hang out with our son's caregivers and friends, etc....and how we can't eat anything we don't boil, cook or peel...and how the Muslim morning prayers start at 5am on the citywide loud speakers (as the roosters crow)..and how not to give the millions of people who will ask us for money any money even though you'll want to...and on and on and on. We are totally unprepared for this. The trip itself just seems so overwhelming. And since there's not really a son to get excited about, all we are focused on is the travel detail that i'm sure will be forgotten once it's all over. Right now it just seems so insurmountable. And how about the fact that the plane ride home is sometimes the time your child decides to freak out and realize they've been...well, for all intents and purposes, kidnapped from everything they know...and you don't even know how to sing them a lullaby in their native tongue. Oh, lord, when are we learning Amharic. We can't even pronounce the name of the language! Can we do this!?

Officially on the the waiting list!

2008-06-27T16:40:00.000-04:00

Today is such a milestone. Our dossier was sent off to Ethiopia today! Oh my goodness! It's actually going to happen! we are officially number 73 on the list now, but Toni says we're much lower on the list overall, b/c we want a boy and lots of families are waiting for either infants only (0-12 months) or girls or siblings groups. For all we know, we could be #20 or so of families that are waiting for boys up to 15 months. Holy shit...is this really happening! June 28th will be day 1 of officially "waiting" although we've been waiting for almost a year and half already. Wish us luck!

2008-06-18T15:25:00.001-04:00

We got word today that our dossier has been sent to DC. Woo hoo! Only 2 more weeks or so until the dossier is in Ethiopia and our official wait time begins. They say it could be anywhere between 2 weeks and 7 months before we get our referral (match).

2008-06-16T22:48:00.002-04:00

Well, this blog might be a surprise to many of you. We're sorry about that. But this has been a pretty long, trying process with a lot of false starts and misteps. For sanity sake, we opted to keep the process personal until the final months and weeks. We're excited that you know now. Our family is getting ready to change in a big way, and we're glad to be bringing you all in to the fold. There's still a long way to go, and once our son comes home, the journey has really just begun. Please send us good vibes.