Pandora's Box Part 3

...last night my nightamares woke me up again. The details are too graphic, but suffice it to say I was too scared to go back to sleep. I dont' know if it's because Ella's bday bash is over and I don't know what the next milestone I can throw myself into is (hence i'm starting to stew on the adoption again), or that our bags are packed and I just had to call and cancel our flights today, or if it was the frustration at our agency for not updating us on a call they had on Monday about the issue (after they told us they would and we are waiting for any morsel of news)...or if it's the sugar from the left-over birthday cake that i keep trying to drown my sorrows in that kept me up all night. But last night I lay there all night until the birds started to chirp, the sun started to come up, and the clocked rolled around to 7. It was the worst night i'd had so far. where I sat and comtemplated all night: how long do we wait? what if he's never going to be adoptable? should we wait another week? month? year? when do we ask for another referral? will people judge us for that? aren't we supposed to hold out for him? but how long do we? and what if the hold-out just ends up with us never getting him and then we have to ask for another referral anyway? do we end up just waiting longer? and that's what I stewed on for hours and hours and hours. And, to a certain degree, I'm still stewing on it.

Radames told me last week that we'd wait for 45 days. He decided that was the number, and that if the courts hadn't moved, hadn't made any announcement, hadn't given us any timeframes or prospects of when we'd know anything, that we'd ask for another Addison, as f-ed up as that is to say and think about. Well, I deferred to him and said yes, let's wait the 45 days. But, I'm having trouble doing it. I just keep wondering: are we stupid? is the writing on the wall? are we just delaying the inevitable? will we just be 45 more days behind? and will we miss getting a kid in '09 if we wait b/c the courts close for the rainy season in a few months? OMG will we have to redo our fingerprints and deal with NVC and the drama of the missing paperwork again if we drag this out past oct when it expires again? Compound that with: how emotionally connected are we to who we think is Addison? why are we so connected? he's not really ours, is he? is the next addison not a legitimate orphan too? does he deserve a home any less than who we've matched with? what will happen with Addison if we give up on him and get a different kid instead? wouldn't he be adopted by another loving family if he becomes adoptable? And there, my friends, you have a recipe for mental torture like no guerilla terrorist can impose. And you have a recipe for wanting to beat the shit out of the 17-year-old trailor trash that you see in the Toys R Us chatting about her pregnancy with friends over a cigarette.

The answer is that there are no answers. No scenario is good. No scenario is the "magic solution." So then we just weigh the options, like switching lanes in traffic, hoping the other lane moves faster, but then realizing you're an ass for not just staying in the lane you were in to start with. That's how i feel. Like one road may be slower, but it will result in a son...while the other road could move fast, or it could move slow, or it could just entirely dead end and you realize you have to go back and drive down the other road anyway. The latter is starting to feel less and less appealing as I miss sleep, start give up hope (on the courts, not Addison), and consult with Radames and friends.

Today, we got to the point, out of personal desparation, that I called our agency and asked about the ramifications of getting a new referral. Toni acted surprised that we'd be at this point and said she has every hope that Addison will be ours soon, and that "the courts are just proving a point" (that they won't tolerate "irregularities"). She and the program's director seem to think this will be over soon and that they will go to court to petition for the 10 families' cases to be heard. But they can't petition yet, b/c the courts won't allow them to...and that it's only been 11 days...and that if we "give up" our referral and request another one, Addison would be assigned to someone else and then be adopted by them when his case is heard, she suspects. She said she really didn't know, because nothing like this has ever happened before, and that she had to talk to her boss about it. And then I got an email inviting us to a group conf call for the 10 families tomorrow so they can talk to us about what's next. I'm really glad they are doing that, b/c we all really need it. Maybe tomorrow I'll be more level-headed, but we'll probably be right back where we've been. In indefinite pergatory, rotting, stewing, second guessing.

So, there you have it. Meat and potatoes: several non-abandoned kids being put before the courts as abandoned kids, the courts saying hold up we've gotta get to the bottom of this, our agency assuring us that those issues have nothing to do with our kids who are all legit, us having no idea when the courts will finish their investigation and re-schedule our cases, no idea of any timeframes or milestones, and us...well, me...being a basket case along the way. I wish I had more to say. I wish I had more upbeat news.

I will just say, though, that i know i have the best friends and husband and most amazing daughter on the planet. And that we are dealing with a top-rate agency that has a great relationship with the courts and is doing what they realistically can to be our advocates in a less-than-ideal situation. And I know that my over-analyzing things is not productive in any way. Every day I'm working on reminding myself of all of those things. And today I realized (thanks, MF) that I really need to focus on my own emotional and physical well-being and not what others may think or say. I probably need to avoid the co-miserating with the other 9 families on line, per Radames' request 10 days ago! :) And i need to stop wondering about the external ramifications about doing what is best for our family. And i need to not be so paranoid about sharing. By the way, if you are a Smarty Pants client friend, have no fear. You have no idea how great of a job I'll be doing on your business. Intellectual challenges are my best friends these days. :) Ha! See.

Thanks again, everyone, for all of the support and wishes. We love you and can't wait to pass along some better news.

Is It Over Yet?

Today was the first day I've woken up in years that as soon as I opened my eyes I just wanted the day to be done. I wanted nothing more than to fall back asleep and never wake up. Radames and I looked at each other and knew...and the pit in the bottom of my stomach and the tears that wanted to roll out of my eyes were still there. Still so exceptionally heartbroken and confused and zombie-like. So dispassionate about the day and life and so full of questions. Why didn't the pain go away in our sleep last night like we were sure it would?! Damnit, why do we still feel like this? Why is all of this happening? Maybe it's what's right? Maybe Addison really isn't abandoned? Maybe the courts know something we don't? Maybe we'll get a call on Tuesday that the case is back on? Maybe it's not supposed to ever be back on? What IS his backstory? Why would his mother have abandoned him? Why didn't she relingquish home so they know her identity and he can still be adopted? What happens if we wait for months? Do we get matched with another kid? Would he still be our little Addison? Why are we so attached to a kid that's a million miles away and we've never even met? Why was he chosen for us? Why are we being so selfish? Why did another load of Restoration Hardware and Pottery Barn boxes just arrive at our doorstep...just to rub salt on our wounds? Why are we not focused on Ella right? How must the other families who don't have an Ella feel right now? How quickly could we fly there and just kidnap him? What's the worst they could do to us? If we went to jail would it just feel like what Addison is destinited to feel like anyway? Was his mother bribed? Was she scared of being identified because she shamefully had him out of wedlock? What if, heaven forbid, he was taken from her? Will we ever know? Why are ours brains going there? Shouldn't we just relax and have faith that the local courts know what their doing? Why do I insist on solving everything? Why is my heart still so broken even after I've been fed and had my nap and been changed? Maybe I'm the one who needs to be adopted!? Maybe this is because we need to experience loss so that we can know how Addison felt when he was separated from his mom and how he'll feel when he has to leave all his friends and family at House of Hope? What are we going to do? Damnit! Make the pain go away!!!!

The Darkest of Days

Today we got word that Addison's case was not heard and that they have no idea when and if it will be because the judge decided to not hear any more cases involving abandoned kids in Addis Ababa orphanages b/c another agency presented suspicious abandonment cases to the courts earlier in the week. We have no more info, are beyond sad and exhausted, and aren't feeling very optimistic. We'll write more later, once we know more and have the energy. For now... no Addison and no trip as planned. We wait and maybe we...who knows...

How Suite It Is!

We are so excited! Not only did we get to see video of Addison today, but we also got together enough points to book ourselves in a suite at the Sheraton Addis, which is a luxury resort in the first place. We are SO stoked, bc we'll have a big room and separate living room area and free breakfast, etc. This is a huge deal, bc I'm not-so-secretly having a panic attack every time I think of being in a strange place feeling powerless - literally powerless, as in electricity, in this case. I know that's so incredibly bratty and ridiculous, but I'm not embarrassed to say that I feel a lot more comfortable knowing we won't be holed up in a box with six giant suitcases, a new baby, a roll away crib, no mini-fridge with bottled water, trying to figure out what formula to use and how we can call Ella. And instead of wandering around the streets wondering where we can safely eat, we can take a swim in the pool and order a lunch in the executive lounge. Yes, I'm being obnoxious, I know! But I think this place might be as nice as where we spent our honeymoon! It's $950/night US$, if would would have had to pay cash for it! We might never leave the room. :)

A huge shout out and thanks to Barbara Z, Sara Beth H, Alison B, Michael D, Pam G for the starwood points! You will be the first to get a thank you card from Addison in his best 7-mo-old crayon scribble. :)

We've Been Crying All Day

We have been in a state of happiness and tears all day here. Today we got to see our little boy live and in full color stereo. A woman who we met through an online group of people adopting in Ethiopia, Angela Carley, went over there to adopt a child herself and was able to video Addison while she was there. She e-mailed us the clips this morning and we have not been able to stop watching them. He is so beautiful. There is one clip of him just sleeping and he looks like an absolute angel. Another one has him laughing and smiling at the camera. Wynne and myself can't stop looking at it. It's as if he's smiling right at us. Thank you so much for doing this for us, Angela. You dont know how much this means to us and how it made our day.

Before he was just a picture and a little boy that was over there somewhere. But after seeing those videos, he became so real. It's as if we can reach through the screen and touch him. Ella came home from karate today and we showed her the videos. As soon as she saw them, she started waving at the screen and talking to him. The smile and tears on Wynne's face could not be erased as Ella was doing this. If all goes well and with God's blessing, he should legally become ours on Friday. We can't wait for us to embark on this amazing trip to bring our son home. And if all goes according to plan, I should be able to hold my son on May 25th which also happens to be my birthday. I can't think of a better gift for a human being to recieve on their birthday. Addison, we're almost there, son.......

It's Starting to Become Real

It's all starting to become quite real! Now that all of our paperwork is there, we got to focus this weekend on the fact we will actually have a son soon. Friday is the big day! If all goes as planned, we'll be the proud new absentee parents of little Addison. Woo Hoo!

We updated our packing list today and started packing his suitcase full of all the little goodies we've bought and gotten from friends. We've got 80 gDiaper inserts and his new little gDiaper pants crammed in along side swimming diapers, cereal, baby food, bowl, spoons, formula, bottles, socks, outfits, blankets, butt cream, hats, wipes, etc. I'm so proud of us for being meticulous, space saving packers. :)

We're also doing a really good job with Ella. We spent this morning listening to her cry about how she's scared that we won't love her anymore once Addison comes. It was important for us to listen and validate her and be totally honest with her about how things will change while reassuring her that we could never love her an ounce less.

We are planning a big luau for her birthday less than a week before we leave, but I wouldn't have it any other way. I really just don't want her 5th bday to get swept under the rug in the pre-departure melee. She's so amazing, and we are so in love with her. I don't want to ever forget her 5th bday. There are over 100 people coming to our house! But by the end of the day today, she decided that she didn't want any presents, but instead just wanted to save up her money (and any spare change her friends might want to donate to her) and buy Addison a welcome home gift. I'm so glad. The gift giving stuff is just too much...and how much more could she really need? This process is really reminding us what matters and what doesn't, and we haven't even made the trek across the planet yet.

Great News!

The embasssy in Ethiopia FINALLY has all of our final visa and fingerprint info that the USCIS and NVC have been saying they've sent but no one in ET could track down! That's it! We are finally complete in terms of everything we can provide/do to make the process complete. Barring something unforeseen that is out of our hands, in ONE WEEK from today, Addison will go to court with our agency rep and legally be ours! It's so hard to believe, but yep...on May 8th is the big day, and today is already May 1st! Woo Hoo! Shout outs to the Immigrant Visa Chief in Addis Ababa. :)

Our last day at Smarty Pants will be two weeks from today. Then we'll have the week to pack up, get our lives together, do things like map out our travel plans and buy all the things we don't even know we need...and then hop aboard Ethiopian Air. We leave on the 23rd if all goes as planned. Cross your fingers for us. We are SO happy today!

Still Waiting

CIS is saying that they USPS Priority Mailed to the National Visa Center our updated visa 37/approvals, but NVC is STILL saying they haven't received it...a week later! This is so friggin' frustating b/c we can't go pick up Addison without Ethiopia having the approval in hand, and the damn NVC people can't re-send it to Ethiopia if they don't have it or can't find it. Somebody shoot me! These gov't agencies need to get their shi-ite together!

Does It Ever End? Pt. 2

Yesterday we spent our afternoon dealing with both the US CIS and the NVC offices to try to find out why in the world Ethiopia still doesn't have our approvals. NVC (the national visa cabling service) first said that they emailed the approvals to ET, then they said that they sent hard copies (which is required), then they said that it's Ethiopia's fault the stuff isn't there. They sent us back to CIS (immigration folks that issue our approvals) and they said that the NVC people only received hard copies from them (not email copies as NVC said) and that if NVC didn't get them cabled to Ethiopia properly then they'd have to re-request the original hard copies. It was the biggest debacle that is still not resolved. All we know is that NVC did re-request the approvals this morning, so that's a good thing. Now if they can just get them in hand and ship them off to AA where they belong, we could sleep a little easier.

It's so frustrating b/c all of these are US agencies - one of which won't talk to you on the phone after being on hold FOREVER and trying to navigate a bunch of # options that don't match up with your needs and both of which have no clue what they are talking about and just blame each other for everything. A third world country's beaurocracy is looking pretty good these days. :)

The good news is that these papers are needed until our final appt on the 28th of May, and our agency keeps telling us that we have plenty of time. These papers don't effect the adoption proceedings which happen on May 8th, thank goodness.

On a much happier note, we had five friends jump in to offer us Starwood points for our hotel! Huge thanks and shout outs go to Sara Beth H from Smarty Pants, Michael D from MTV, Allison B from Nickelodeon, Pam G from Wrigley, Barbara Z from Smarty Pants. We have a few other friends checking to see if they have enough points to give us. :) You guys are THE BEST!

Other progress we're making: Radames pulled out our four biggest suitcases that are now strategically positioned against the wall in the basement (you just have to laugh), we got three more docs notarized this week, we got in touch with the malaria hotline at the CDC (how sad are we that this makes us happy), we got our 2008 taxes done and out the door!, we got our sit and stroll (car seat and stroller in one) back from ganna, and we started making nightly notes and task lists on color coded notecards to alleviate the daytime bickering! That's a big one. And Addison turned 6 months old on Sunday. How could we forget that one? :)

Does It Ever End?

Today we got an email from our consultant that Ethiopia doesn't have a record of our updated CIS approval. This is the same issue we had before...and they finally found it when they looked a second time. They keep telling us they don't have a petition for the Rodriguez family. But legally, I'm the petitioner, so it would be under Tyree. I'm assuming that's the problem again. Hopefully we'll hear from our consultant tomorrow that they find it when they look under Tyree, rather than Rodriguez. Radames called the National Visa Center today and they said it was sent to Ethiopia on March 22nd, so it has to be there. Jeez

Aside from that, things are clipping along nicely. The nursery looks adorable and we got another round of vaccinations last week. We have an appt. with a notary tomorrow to get a few more docs notarized, and we got our taxes done for this year. Now we just have to redo a few of our financial declarations docs and have them notarized, too. We'll maybe get to that next week when our accountant has time for us.

We also went away for the Easter weekend, which was nice, b/c we actually got to be a family for a change. We've been arguing so much that we really needed to walk around and make fun of people in Gatlinburg to reconnect. :) just kidding. It was nice though. We went ice skating, went to an amazing aquarium, stayed at a hilarious Christmas-themed hotel, went swimming in the hotel pool, ate at local dives, took a tram up a mountain as it swung in the breeze, shopped for clothes for our trip and for Addison, and had a nice time chit chatting with Ella. She bought some "jewels" (aka rocks) in a gift shop, so we used them at meals to play sharing games. For each rock we put in the middle to person had to say something. Radames and I sadly used rocks to play the "things I could do differently to make sure we quite arguing" game as Ella ate chicken fingers and the "how I'm feeling about this whole process" game as said "can we PLEASE leave this place!?". It was really enlightening, as corny as it sounds. :)

Just let Addison get here already! We bought him the cutest little outfit for our final visa appt at the embassy, so we're ready. :)

We're Connected

Well, today we crossed over into the other world of the adoption life - we got linked up with others from our agency via an online group. This is something we've avoided doing for a while, since we've been busy with work and, honestly, I just haven't had time to make chit chat about things that are still unknown.

Well, we're now officially "friends" with 8 other couples that are also adopting from Ethiopia through CHI, each one with our same court date and visa appointment/pick-up dates. :) It's really exciting to now be part of a group of 9 families that will all be traveling together. Radames and I are feeling way less alone in the journey simply because of their emails, posts and our little spreadsheet of "the May 28th visa appointment pack". Through our online dialogue, we've already had someone offer to take pictures of Addison for us while they are there (from an earlier travel group).

We also had a great conversation with our agency rep today who helped us demystify a lot of outstanding docs we still need to do/re-do. My brain is getting ready to explode, but information is a good thing these days.

We also made a lot of progress with the travel agency that CHI uses and recommended. It was SO nice to not be talking to the American Airlines or US Airways fool who has no clue about adoption travel. They knew exactly what we were doing, asked when our court dates were, when our visa appointment was, etc. and gave us a lot of good advice on planning, tix, fares, etc. That's a major relief!

Right now, our plan is to leave out of Dulles (in DC) on Sunday morning May 24th. We get there on Monday morning b/c of the time change. It's a direct flight!!! That's why we're going to just put all of our shit in the Acura and drive for 6 hours to DC. It'll be so much easier than driving four hours to ATL to then have to connect in London or Dubai or Frankfurt. And then we'll return from Addis on Sunday night the 31st and arrive DC on Monday morning the 1st of June. You have no idea how psyched we are to have gotten connected with them today and to now have a non-29-hour flight (both ways) in store. The flight is on Ethiopian Air, which seemed a little too rickety for my travel elitist ass, but we checked out the virtual tour of the airplane online, and it's awesome. You can see it at Ethiopianairlines.com and then click on "our luxury 787 Dreamliner to Ethiopia". We are so chillin' on that bad boy! Ethiopian Air, here we come.

Things are Moving Along Nicely

The time is approaching. It's so hard to believe. It is really going to happen! Our court date is still set for May the 8th. We haven't heard of any changes or issues, so we're all set to be the legal parents of Addison on May 8th, 2009. Yep, his name will be Addison. We are still deciding on the middle name, but we are leaning toward Everett.

Addison is because he is our son from Addis (Addis Ababa is the full name of the city, but people often call it Addis). That's where we will pick him up, where he was found (although that seems callous to say), and probably where he was born. The name also means "son of Adam", and we like that because it ties back to the original man, which according to all known scientific evidence, actually came from Ethiopia. The fossil remains of "Lucy", the oldest skeleton remains of a human being (yes, she's almost 4 million years old), are located in Addis Ababa in the national museum. We feel like it's a name he can be proud of and that will always link him back to where he came from - ethnically and regionally. We already have a big letter A on his nursery door.

Yep, the nursery is now done. That was the project for last week that had Radames and I on the verge of a divorce. Terrance painted most of the walls for us and hung up the drapes, thank goodness. Radames and I could not have been any more at each other's throats re: paint spills, why the crib still wasn't put together, etc. Note to self...do not try to work on nursery with husband if you are anal and your husband is not...you will inevitably end up wondering why you married each other.

The room is so adorable now, though. The walls are tan and everything in there is baby blue and chocolate brown. We got everything at Restoration Hardware's Baby and Child...it's the Cloud collection at rhbabyandchild.com. So adorable! All that's missing is a baby!

We also got 4 updated pictures of Addison last week. They are SO amazing. He looks like a whole different kid. So much older. There's one of him in a little bouncy contraption grinning from ear to ear and you can just totally see his personality. I wish so badly we could share the pics. That's the crappy part about this process.

So now we're in the midst of starting to plan travel. We are being told that our embassy visa appointment date that we have to attend (and then fly home the next day or two) will probably be May 28th. Yikes! That means we'll probably leave on the 23rd or so, and be there from Mon to Mon. But Ella turns 5 on the 21st of May, and of course I want her to have a big party, Radames turns 39 on the 25th, Ella's preschool graduation is on the 26th, and work will be crazy busy in May, so the timing is not ideal. But if I went into labor at that time, I guess we'd re-arrange everything anyway, so I won't complain. If the 28th doesn't happen, then it'll be June the 11th...and we'll go on like 6th or 7th of June or something. The crazy part is that we can't book our plane ticket until like 5-10 before we leave (bc that's when they do the final confirmation on the visa appointment), so that has me beside myself with uneasiness. I don't like the idea of not knowing exactly when we leave. And being the travel elitist that I am, my worst fear is that we are stuck in the back of coach near the toilet with a new baby who thinks we've kidnapped him. Dear Lord, let first class please still be available when we can book our flight.

On the hotel front, we are able to use Starwood points to stay at the Sheraton, so that's great. And if we change the dates, there's no penalty or drama. And I think we have enough to stay the whole time, but if anyone who'd like to make a "charitable" donation of SPG points to the Tyree-Rodriguez Sheraton fund, we'd love you for it. It's possible to transfer them over, but we'll have to tell you how.

We're getting more vaccinations this week, too. So that makes me feel like we're making progress. And we just finished up our taxes this week, which is a big relief b/c we have to take copies of our tax returns and all forms, supporting evidence of our income, etc. with us! So ridiculous! But since we don't get to make the rules, I'm just happy that those are done.

We also need to either start to buy things or register for things. We still don't own a carseat, stroller, bottle, diaper, pacifier (ugh! we never used a pacifier with ella, so that's freaking me out), formula (don't even get me started on that one. that is totally scaring me too, b/c ella only ever drank from the...well, you know), clothes, and whatever else kids need. We can't even remember, we are so disconnected from infancy now. Good thing is that he'll be about 7 1/2 months old when we get him, so he'll probably already be eating some foods. But if anyone knows of a website where we can have a registry that pulls for a bunch of other sites that would be so cool and convenient. I'd love to register for everything from a bottle to a cutesy Obama t-shirt. I saw a funny one on cafepress.com. And there's an adorable one that says "Does this shirt make me look Ethiopian?" on it that i'm dying to get. :)

I think that's all of the updates for now. We'll keep you posted. :) Addis Ababa, here we come. Only about 50 days left until we leave. Woo Hoo! Can't wait to hop on the Brangelina express flight. :)

FINALLY!!!

Today, we got the letter that we have been waiting for. After all the great e-mails and follow-up letters by Wynne, we finally got the approval for our I-600A extension. I went to the mailbox and saw that we had recieved a letter from USCIS and I started getting nervous and excited at the same time. As I'm coming into the house, I'm opening up the letter, fumbling nervously awaiting what new hoops the government was going to make us do now. I opened it and I read the magic words that we were waiting for: APPROVAL!! I ran right into our bedroom and showed it to Wynne with a big smile. She read it and we hugged and kissed. It's finally coming to fruition. Short of an act of God, we will be able to pick up our son in two months. Now we have to start getting his room and figure out things like what color to paint it, what furniture do we need, and how long it's going to take me to put together Ella's old crib for him. Oh well, it's all good because our family will be growing by one really soon.

He's at House of Hope Now!

So, we got an email today that our little one has been moved to the House of Hope. That's our agency's "carriage house" where the babies are moved from their orphanages for their "pick up" from thier new moms and dads. Most travelers from our agency also stay there at the HOH so they can bond 24/7 with their new babies. It's basically the meeting place that our agency runs. But kids don't get brought there unless "it's time"...which is exciting because it means he's officially in our agency's care now (which will mean better care), he's officially just hanging out and waiting for us :( and it also means we'll probably get more regular pics of him.

It's really exciting, b/c it's just another step in bringing us together. He's actually more ready than us now...since we're still waiting for the doggone CIS approval extension.

We also got updated medicals on him today. Our agency retested him for everything. His white blood cell counts are still slightly high, but like 16, when they should be like 8-12. Ella's are probably 20 this week as she hacks up who-knows-what, so we won't complain. And our doctor already told us that WBC are not correlated in any way with any chronic illnesses. They are basically elevated to ward off infections, which could be from anything from a bugbite to diaper rash. Who knows. We're just happy that he's at HOH now and that we got new medicals on him. :) He's perfect.

Cross Your Fingers for Us

So today we mailed back to CIS the addendum to the updated homestudy that we had to have our social worker do because she didn't write exactly what they wanted in the updated homestudy. Cross your fingers that we've now been so overly specific that they'll have no choice but to extend our original approval. At this point, it's just simply ridiculous.

We just really need them to send us an "okay, here's your updated approval to bring your son into the country" letter already. Is it really our fault that the process has taken so long that we even have to request the approval extension? This is just so emotionally fatiguing. It would be really nice to think about our son rather than the fact that our approval has now expired.

At this point, we just can't really emotionally invest in the fact that we'll soon have another child. It's sad because we now know who he is and he's sitting and waiting for us, and we still don't know if we're going to be able to bring him home...until we get the next letter from these gov't fools. We have three or four boxes of brand new stuff for his nursery sitting in the boxes in his room, but we haven't even opened the boxes because we just can't emotionally go there yet.

Jeez. Can we just be done already!? And it doesn't help when Radames jets out at 5 o'clock to make sure the paperwork gets out to the CIS office on Monday and the racist idiot who works at the post office says, "Oh, are you applying for your citizenship?" as Radames hands him the packet to overnight. Radames nicely said, "No, I'm not." I would have gone off on the guy. I'm still fuming just thinking about it. But then again, that's why Radames goes to do these things instead of me. These things infuriate me. Ditto on the trailor park bi-otch who said to Radames, "Uh, were you born in this country?" as we checked in at the local health department where we had to go to get our hepatitis and menengoccocul (sp?) vaccines. I almost went off on the chic. Hence Radames handles all local interactions... :)