We are supposed to leave at 10:15 in the morning, and here it is midnight the night before, and we don't know if we are going to be able to get on the plane. We are still two hours away from DC (we fly out of Dulles), we need to be at the airport at 7am, and we have no idea what tomorrow morning's check-in will entail.
To make a long story short, Radames' passport expires in 3 months and he had NO idea this would be an issue. When we were finally packing up our whole live (in one day!) and getting all of our paperwork completed, copied, organized, etc., I saw his passport and thought, "oh, i feel like i've heard before that passports have to be valid for more than 6 months post-travel to get in some countries." Fast forward to him flipping out, us scavenging on-line for hours, calling and emailing everyone and anyone in this process who is supposed to be helping us (although they aren't!)....and we ended the night with Radames hysterically crying, screaming, rocking himself and beyond consoling. It was indeed true. On the ethiopian embassy site it says the passport has to be valid for 6 extra months beyond travel. No one at our agency or travel agency ever told us this!!!
We spent the night flipping out, me watching Radames cry himself to sleep while i pretended to be okay and saying, "it'll be fine, honey, we'll get there...we're gonna make it...it'll all work out." And then once he fell asleep I lost it. I called and got him an extension appointment in Philly for first thing Tues am, b/c that's the earliest one I could find on the eastern seaboard. I checked every possible flight that could still get him to Addis by Thursday's exit appointment, and there were none on our airline and there definitely none that would get him there if doesn't get a renewed passport until Tuesday afternoon. I just laid there and stewed on whether I should go without him, how we could change our flights, when we could get a passport renewal appt, how we could find a notary in the middle of the night that would notarize official paperwork that allows only one parent to pick up the child (which we can't do b/c those docs have to state authenticated after notarizing, and there's no way we could get them notarize, to nashville and then back to DC by Sunday at 7am!), the horrors of being there without him, him being here without me, us being without Ella for even longer, us missing our embassy appointment, etc. I finally crawled into Ella's bed hoping that the peace of her little snore would lull me to sleep. I think it finally did at around 6am.
At 10:30 we woke up and realized it wasn't a bad dream. We immediately started making calls to the ethiopian airlines ticket counter, scrambling for other flight options, calling the owners of the hotel we're at (asking if it was true and what we should do), frantically trying to get ahold of our travel agent to no avail, trying to get ahold of our adoption agency to no avail, etc. Thank the lord for Meredith who called a passport expediting service in NYC that said if RR would be in NYC at 7:30am with passport, license, new itenerary proving he was leaving within 24 hours, $350 in cash and a $135 check for the passport, they'd give him an extended passport by 5pm on Monday!
So...that's the plan as of now. If they don't let him on the plane (and perhaps even if they will, b/c the issue really isn't with the airlines, it's with the entry/visa process in Ethiopia when we get off the plane where they could say "welcome, now get the hell back on the plane b/c you can't stay"), then he's gonna get a different travel agent to find him a flight that'll leave on Mon night or Tues am from NYC, then take a train from DC to NYC (4 suitcases in tow), sleep in Brooklyn, be in NYC for the 7:30 "appointment", get a new passport, fly out of NYC through Dubai, hang out there for half a day, and then join me in Addis on Wednesday in time for our Thursday exit/embassy/finalize it all appointment!
If this all works out, then it could be fine. There are 100 opportunities for this to not go as planned, but we have to cling onto this for now. All we've got right now are our hopes, a pretty solid plan B, and each other.
Honestly, this is the one of the worst things we've had to deal with. We are furious, sad, confused, exhausted, scared, and did i mention exhausted. It's hard to believe that we should be singing camp songs and lullabies out loud while we make fun in-car video, and we're at a rinky dink gas stop righ now on our way to DC (bc we didn't leave home until 7pm, because we spent 6 hours on the phone today!) and we have no idea what the next week will hold. Ella is in great hands with Ganna and Sara Beth, the biz is in great hands, but this might be one of the most trying things we've ever been through.
We've cried together in the car so much on this trip. Radames was crying before we even left our neighborhood. I think we were doing such a good job holding it all together in front of Ella today that the minute we got in the car to drive away, it all just came pouring out. We've vascilated back and forth between, "it'll be fine" to "what did we do to deserve this?" to "should i just stay with you and we go through dubai together and both hope for Wed arrival?" to "is this really the way we are spending our 8th anniversary (on the 1st) - on opposite sides of the planet rather than hugging our new child together?", and just sniffling and blowing our noses on our shirts, b/c we have no friggin' napkins in the car although we have 8 suitcases full of everything that 3 human beings and dozens of orphans we've brought donations for could ever need!
Honestly, I just DON'T want to go by myself! That's where the tears keep coming from. I DON'T want to be without my rock! I don't want to meet Addison for the first time without him. This was never the pot of gold that was supposed to be at the end of the rainbow. I'm scared. Of being alone. Of being in Ethiopia by myself with four suitcases, a baby who doesn't know me that I'm supposed to be the new mother of, a husband who is missing somewhere in the middle east, no reliable mean of communication, and not to even mention how I tend to get nervous/panicky when I'm in situations where i feel trapped and out of control. I couldn't be any more petrified. I had to say to myself as I fell asleep last night, "Wynne, you CAN do this. You CAN do this alone for a few days! You HAVE to do this. This is not about you. This is about Addison. He needs you. He's waited long enough for you. You can do anything you set your mind to. Put your big girl pants on. Stick your fear in your pocket. Buck up and do what has to get done to get your baby home." I'm still telling myself those things as the tears well up in my eyes and I fantisize about this being a bad dream.
I don't know if we'll be able to post again, b/c RR is going to take my wireless card with him to NYC and he's going to be frantically getting his shit together so that he can leave, but we'll try to keep you posted as much as possible. As of now, it should be fine. I'll get there, he'll get a new passport, then he'll get there, then we'll do our embassy appt we've waited 6 months for, and we'll fly home on Friday night as planned. A week from now, we could be in our bed at home. Or... well, let's not continue to go there.
Thanks everyone who's been there for us! Thank you for your calls and prayers and emails and wishes. We want so badly to be passing along great info so that following our crazy journey isn't the biggest buzzkill ever, but, honestly, nothing about this process has been easy. When will this actually EVER get to be about our adorable new son who will have his arms wrapped around our necks!? When will we ever get to celebrate!? Pray for us that it'll be only 1 more day for me and 2-3 days for Radames :(
Saturday, August 29, 2009
Thursday, August 27, 2009
IS THIS REAL!??
Do we really leave in 3 days!? Will we really be spending our anniversary in Africa? (8 years!) Will we really be "picking up" our new son!? This is so surreal. There really are no words.
But, of course, because I can always find words...we leave on Sat to drive to DC. We fly out of DC on Sun am directly to Addis Ababa. By Monday morning we'll be there and will get to "have" Addison that day! We'll be staying at the Ethiopia Guest Home (ethiopiaguesthome.com) which we are really excited about. It was built by two adoptive parents from California, so it's like a beach house in the middle of a city that sits atop a mountain. :) We are supposed to fly back on Friday night and arrive on Sat. We'll then drive home to start our new lives.
Sara Beth is coming to town to stay with Ella and take care of Brownie, and Smarty Pants work is all done! The details are getting wrapped up, the excitement is building and we just have no idea what to expect. It really is surreal!
We haven't even begun to pack bc we've been so busy with work and travel, but today's the big day for that. And, uh, maybe we should buy a bottle of something! Yikes. We're headed off to the dr today to get some altitude sickness medicine and various 'scrips for Addison, just in case. Tomorrow, we're going to see the nicest therapist lady in town who reminds me to breath and focus on what's important. Goodness knows I'm gonna need her to give me some perspective as we embark upon the biggest trip of our lives. Radames keeps reminding me that I have to just go with the flow and do as the Ethiopians do...e.g. expect the unexpected, not have a plan, be prepared for frustration, not think I'll be able to control anything, etc. Ah, that'll be easy. wink.
More to come
But, of course, because I can always find words...we leave on Sat to drive to DC. We fly out of DC on Sun am directly to Addis Ababa. By Monday morning we'll be there and will get to "have" Addison that day! We'll be staying at the Ethiopia Guest Home (ethiopiaguesthome.com) which we are really excited about. It was built by two adoptive parents from California, so it's like a beach house in the middle of a city that sits atop a mountain. :) We are supposed to fly back on Friday night and arrive on Sat. We'll then drive home to start our new lives.
Sara Beth is coming to town to stay with Ella and take care of Brownie, and Smarty Pants work is all done! The details are getting wrapped up, the excitement is building and we just have no idea what to expect. It really is surreal!
We haven't even begun to pack bc we've been so busy with work and travel, but today's the big day for that. And, uh, maybe we should buy a bottle of something! Yikes. We're headed off to the dr today to get some altitude sickness medicine and various 'scrips for Addison, just in case. Tomorrow, we're going to see the nicest therapist lady in town who reminds me to breath and focus on what's important. Goodness knows I'm gonna need her to give me some perspective as we embark upon the biggest trip of our lives. Radames keeps reminding me that I have to just go with the flow and do as the Ethiopians do...e.g. expect the unexpected, not have a plan, be prepared for frustration, not think I'll be able to control anything, etc. Ah, that'll be easy. wink.
More to come
Sunday, August 16, 2009
ONLY TWO MORE WEEKS!
Yikes! Are we really leaving in two weeks!? Could it really be true!? Addison is 10 months old now, so it's way overdue...but, wow, is it really here finally??
We finally bought him a few shirts today, so that's a start. But we are no more ready than the man on the moon. Work is as busy as ever, if not busier, so we just haven't been in baby mode at all. And I still have a trip to ATL, NYC and Chicago before we head out to DC on the eve of the 29th. That's not nerve racking at all. [insert excited sarcasm]
Anyhoo....we're trying to keep folks updated by email, too, so if you didn't just get an email from me, let me know and I'll add you to the list.
We finally bought him a few shirts today, so that's a start. But we are no more ready than the man on the moon. Work is as busy as ever, if not busier, so we just haven't been in baby mode at all. And I still have a trip to ATL, NYC and Chicago before we head out to DC on the eve of the 29th. That's not nerve racking at all. [insert excited sarcasm]
Anyhoo....we're trying to keep folks updated by email, too, so if you didn't just get an email from me, let me know and I'll add you to the list.
Sunday, August 9, 2009
A Change of Hotel Plans
So, we had it all worked out to go pick up Addison...perfect flight, perfect (free) hotel suite at the Sheraton, etc. but the CHI people were giving us a really hard time about staying at the Sheraton. First telling us that we would have to provide our own transportation to and from HOH (so what) and then telling us that we can't have Addison with us at all if we stay at the Sheraton...and that we have to pay silly crib, nanny, food, etc. fees to the HOH while we're there, b/c we are "unwiling to pick up our child when we come."
Needless to say, I've spent the whole weekend boiling, b/c I got the bullying email on Friday after work saying that we couldn't have Addison AT ALL, even after our embassy/exit interview when they have no rights to our child whatsoever, because "we were choosing not to pick him up like all the other parents." The language, threats, punitive fees, etc. has had me pissed for the past 36 hours.
Well, after asking several people's opinions and cooling off a bit...lo and behold, we just booked a reservation at Ethiopia Guest House - a place that CHI approves of, hence we get to take our child and not have to pay them and fight with them. They win. Now, instead of the free accommodations, we are shelling out quite a chunk of money to stay at a place where we "get" to share a bathroom with another family. Oh, the joys. But, hey, if that's what they insist on, then so be it. Since our son has been held prisoner for long enough, we might as well do whatever we can to make sure these people have no reason to end up denying us the rights to get him at the final hour.
We still have our Sheraton reservation - and wil probably keep it. But now that we're playing by their new rules, we get to do with Addison whatever we want in-country...well, except sleep and be where we want with our own child that legally became ours on August 5th, that is.
Needless to say, I've spent the whole weekend boiling, b/c I got the bullying email on Friday after work saying that we couldn't have Addison AT ALL, even after our embassy/exit interview when they have no rights to our child whatsoever, because "we were choosing not to pick him up like all the other parents." The language, threats, punitive fees, etc. has had me pissed for the past 36 hours.
Well, after asking several people's opinions and cooling off a bit...lo and behold, we just booked a reservation at Ethiopia Guest House - a place that CHI approves of, hence we get to take our child and not have to pay them and fight with them. They win. Now, instead of the free accommodations, we are shelling out quite a chunk of money to stay at a place where we "get" to share a bathroom with another family. Oh, the joys. But, hey, if that's what they insist on, then so be it. Since our son has been held prisoner for long enough, we might as well do whatever we can to make sure these people have no reason to end up denying us the rights to get him at the final hour.
We still have our Sheraton reservation - and wil probably keep it. But now that we're playing by their new rules, we get to do with Addison whatever we want in-country...well, except sleep and be where we want with our own child that legally became ours on August 5th, that is.
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
FINALLY!!! HE'S OURS!
August 5th, 2009, little Eyob X from Addis Ababa, Ethiopia, became our little Addison Miles Tyree-Rodriguez! Woo hoo!!
[Insert so many f- bombs and other explicatives here!]
[Insert so many f- bombs and other explicatives here!]
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
Cheesy Midnight Poetry
‘Twas the night before court
And all through the house,
Not a creature was stirring,
Not even a mouse.
Ella’s tucked in,
So are Radames and I.
We all just lay thinking
About our new little guy.
Will he or won’t he,
Get to be ours?
Soon we will know,
It’s just a matter of hours.
We want him so bad,
And this time it feels right.
Just one more set of dreams,
Just one more long night.
The silence is thick,
As we wonder and guess,
Hoping the judge in Ethiopia
Soon would say yes.
She’ll bang her gavel
And say, “It was destined to be!”
Or maybe she won’t.
We’ll just have to see.
We’ve all come so far,
Just a little bit more….
Please just let us all wake up
And be a family of four.
And all through the house,
Not a creature was stirring,
Not even a mouse.
Ella’s tucked in,
So are Radames and I.
We all just lay thinking
About our new little guy.
Will he or won’t he,
Get to be ours?
Soon we will know,
It’s just a matter of hours.
We want him so bad,
And this time it feels right.
Just one more set of dreams,
Just one more long night.
The silence is thick,
As we wonder and guess,
Hoping the judge in Ethiopia
Soon would say yes.
She’ll bang her gavel
And say, “It was destined to be!”
Or maybe she won’t.
We’ll just have to see.
We’ve all come so far,
Just a little bit more….
Please just let us all wake up
And be a family of four.
Sunday, August 2, 2009
Could Someone PLEASE tell Ella...
...to stop talking into my belly button and saying, "Addison, it's time for you to come out, Buddy!!!???" "You'll be here soon, Addison...", she likes to say as she pats my stomach and sides and backside! Today she was totally cracking me up as she kept tapping on my belly and said, "It's okay, Addison, we're gonna get you outta there soon....it's okay, baby" in the sweetest little sing-song voice ever. :)
I've told her 1,000 times that he's not coming out of my belly, but I think her 5-year-old brain and my not-so-flat stomach beg to differ.
I've told her 1,000 times that he's not coming out of my belly, but I think her 5-year-old brain and my not-so-flat stomach beg to differ.
Monday, July 27, 2009
Wish Us Luck on August 5th
The big day is approaching soon. August 5th is our court date, and we are feeling optimistic about it. Ella's school is out that day for a teacher in-service, so we are taking that as a sign tha it will be our designated celebration day. :)
If all go as planned we'll leave the last weekend of August and our embassy/exit appointment is Sept. 3rd. So it looks like we'll be spending our anniversary in Ethiopia. Who would have guessed that eight years ago when we got married!? Life sure is full of crazy twists and turns.
This weekend was my birthday. Yikes! Am I really 37!!? How did that happen? It was nice and low-key, but a great opportunity to reflect. Radames got me a hot stone massage at the local spa, and then we went swimming with Ella and went out to a great dinner, and then washed it down with cookie cake from the Great Americn Cookie Co. My fav! :) And for my presents, the Smarty Pants girls bought me a Flip Video! So exciting! It's exactly what I wanted to take to Ethiopia for all of the video-worthy moments. And Radames and Ella got me an amazing, best-in-class Nikon camera like I'm a photojournalist for National Geographic! Again, totally for Ethiopia and the great moments in our lives that are already here and will be more to come. I can't wait to lug that giant zoom lens around the planet. :)
Net, net: my life rocks! I'm so very fortunate to have an amazing hubby and daughter...and at the end of the day, we have everything we could ever want. We REALLY want to add little Addison to our lives, though. We REALLY hope he gets to make it here. He's the perfect final piece to our funny family puzzle. Wish us luck on the 5th!
If all go as planned we'll leave the last weekend of August and our embassy/exit appointment is Sept. 3rd. So it looks like we'll be spending our anniversary in Ethiopia. Who would have guessed that eight years ago when we got married!? Life sure is full of crazy twists and turns.
This weekend was my birthday. Yikes! Am I really 37!!? How did that happen? It was nice and low-key, but a great opportunity to reflect. Radames got me a hot stone massage at the local spa, and then we went swimming with Ella and went out to a great dinner, and then washed it down with cookie cake from the Great Americn Cookie Co. My fav! :) And for my presents, the Smarty Pants girls bought me a Flip Video! So exciting! It's exactly what I wanted to take to Ethiopia for all of the video-worthy moments. And Radames and Ella got me an amazing, best-in-class Nikon camera like I'm a photojournalist for National Geographic! Again, totally for Ethiopia and the great moments in our lives that are already here and will be more to come. I can't wait to lug that giant zoom lens around the planet. :)
Net, net: my life rocks! I'm so very fortunate to have an amazing hubby and daughter...and at the end of the day, we have everything we could ever want. We REALLY want to add little Addison to our lives, though. We REALLY hope he gets to make it here. He's the perfect final piece to our funny family puzzle. Wish us luck on the 5th!
Sunday, July 19, 2009
STILL Waiting
Earlier this week when I was out in LA, we got yet another email from our agency that said that: "I spoke with our Ethiopia rep today regarding your adoption case and the judge has issued a new court date for your case to be heard and approved. The new court date is August 5th. That would give you a visa appointment date of September 3rd. I know that this is very discouraging but since the MOWA is out, all adoption cases had to be rescheduled until after their return, if documentation was still needed from the MOWA in order for an adoption to be approved."
My immediate thought was to reply with a "WHATEVER! Just give us our baby already!"...accompanied by some sort of electronic middle finger. Needless to say, I didn't do that. But I sure wanted to. I know it has nothing to do with our agency, but the on-going delays, drama, emails re: futher postponements, etc. is just so beyond frustrating and ridiculous. Our hearts have become so bitter about the whole process that, honestly, nothing is going to make that go away until we have landed in Addis Ababa and have him in our arms. Or better yet, when we are airborn on the return flight. It just feels so hopeless and like a cruel trick at this point.
On a happier note, b/c we can't dwell on what we can't control...I discovered Little Ethiopia while in LA. I ate a huge Ethiopian lunch by myself in the nicest restaurant there and got to ham it up with the owners about making the trek. The food was AMAZING! I was so surprised. I wasn't expecting to like it, but I couldn't stop eating. I had the vegetarian lunch buffet AND the meat sampler entree. All of was delicious. It was kind of like great Indian food - spicy and so full of flavor, minus the curry. I got "reprimanded" for eating with a fork and told to get ready to just eat with my hands. I loved the injera (like Indian nan - a sourdough flatbread with little bubbles in it like a sponge - almost looks like when a crepe started to bubble on one side while you cook it). The injera serves at the "bowl" for almost everything, so it was hard to not keep eating. Bread is my friend. :) I also bought a little Amharic phrasebook in a gift shop, along with a kiddy DVD that is Amharic with English sub-titles.
So, today was learn Amharic day in our house. We had such a fun time letting Ella teach us Amharic, b/c of course SHE had to be in charge of all translations (even though she can't even read English!). Radames enjoyed laughing at my Southern botchery of unfamiliar vowel sounds. And we all listened along as two giraffe taught each other life lessons in a completely unintelligible language on our new DVD. Ella kept saying, "Tonight for my bedtime story, let me read you a book in Addison's language...I'll teach you." Then she forced me to listen to her say, "Okay, mommy, now how do you say shirt?" Then I'd say, "i don't know." She'd make up a word and say, "It's na-wah!" (like I wasn't supposed to know that and like that was really the word for shirt). Then she'd say, "now how do you say pillow?"...don't know..."it's pa-wah!" then cat was sha-wah. (Lather. Rinse. Repeat until you want to put a bullet in your head and/or can't stop laughing at her. :)
She's heading back for her second week of kindergarten this week. She loves it, and all she can talk about is the cafeteria. She's completely obsessed with the cafeteria. It's all she think about. She keeps begging us to let her have breakfast there like all the other "lucky" kids who get to eat a biscuit and jelly before the bell rings. I shit you not. No matter what question we ask her about school, the answer is always related to the cafeteria and how they have chicken nuggets AND chocolate milk AND applesource there... AND you get to pick your own food. She just can't wrap her head around it. So adorable. :)
Hopefully we'll have some adoption news soon. Thanks for all of your continued support and sweet wishes for us. This kid better get here already! :)
My immediate thought was to reply with a "WHATEVER! Just give us our baby already!"...accompanied by some sort of electronic middle finger. Needless to say, I didn't do that. But I sure wanted to. I know it has nothing to do with our agency, but the on-going delays, drama, emails re: futher postponements, etc. is just so beyond frustrating and ridiculous. Our hearts have become so bitter about the whole process that, honestly, nothing is going to make that go away until we have landed in Addis Ababa and have him in our arms. Or better yet, when we are airborn on the return flight. It just feels so hopeless and like a cruel trick at this point.
On a happier note, b/c we can't dwell on what we can't control...I discovered Little Ethiopia while in LA. I ate a huge Ethiopian lunch by myself in the nicest restaurant there and got to ham it up with the owners about making the trek. The food was AMAZING! I was so surprised. I wasn't expecting to like it, but I couldn't stop eating. I had the vegetarian lunch buffet AND the meat sampler entree. All of was delicious. It was kind of like great Indian food - spicy and so full of flavor, minus the curry. I got "reprimanded" for eating with a fork and told to get ready to just eat with my hands. I loved the injera (like Indian nan - a sourdough flatbread with little bubbles in it like a sponge - almost looks like when a crepe started to bubble on one side while you cook it). The injera serves at the "bowl" for almost everything, so it was hard to not keep eating. Bread is my friend. :) I also bought a little Amharic phrasebook in a gift shop, along with a kiddy DVD that is Amharic with English sub-titles.
So, today was learn Amharic day in our house. We had such a fun time letting Ella teach us Amharic, b/c of course SHE had to be in charge of all translations (even though she can't even read English!). Radames enjoyed laughing at my Southern botchery of unfamiliar vowel sounds. And we all listened along as two giraffe taught each other life lessons in a completely unintelligible language on our new DVD. Ella kept saying, "Tonight for my bedtime story, let me read you a book in Addison's language...I'll teach you." Then she forced me to listen to her say, "Okay, mommy, now how do you say shirt?" Then I'd say, "i don't know." She'd make up a word and say, "It's na-wah!" (like I wasn't supposed to know that and like that was really the word for shirt). Then she'd say, "now how do you say pillow?"...don't know..."it's pa-wah!" then cat was sha-wah. (Lather. Rinse. Repeat until you want to put a bullet in your head and/or can't stop laughing at her. :)
She's heading back for her second week of kindergarten this week. She loves it, and all she can talk about is the cafeteria. She's completely obsessed with the cafeteria. It's all she think about. She keeps begging us to let her have breakfast there like all the other "lucky" kids who get to eat a biscuit and jelly before the bell rings. I shit you not. No matter what question we ask her about school, the answer is always related to the cafeteria and how they have chicken nuggets AND chocolate milk AND applesource there... AND you get to pick your own food. She just can't wrap her head around it. So adorable. :)
Hopefully we'll have some adoption news soon. Thanks for all of your continued support and sweet wishes for us. This kid better get here already! :)
Thursday, July 9, 2009
Some Great News!
So today we got a call from our agency that included the following info (and some reminders of things we already knew):
- The investigation is over
- Everything was found to be free and clear
- The courts are agressively putting all of our cases back on the docket as soon as possible
- WE WERE GIVEN A NEW COURT DATE OF JULY 20TH!! Yes, 2009. :)
The Ministry of Women's Affairs that has to prep a letter for the courts, but is unfortunately on a post-investigation training break until the 24th of July. The courts have asked them to get the letter done anyway so that we can complete our case on the 20th!
If our case is heard on the 20th as planned, we can have an Embassy appointment date of either August 6th or more likely August 20th, which means we'd leave around the 15th of August! Woo hoo!
Just let this all be true...and let it all come together. It would be great to bring Addison home before his 16th birthday already! :)
- The investigation is over
- Everything was found to be free and clear
- The courts are agressively putting all of our cases back on the docket as soon as possible
- WE WERE GIVEN A NEW COURT DATE OF JULY 20TH!! Yes, 2009. :)
The Ministry of Women's Affairs that has to prep a letter for the courts, but is unfortunately on a post-investigation training break until the 24th of July. The courts have asked them to get the letter done anyway so that we can complete our case on the 20th!
If our case is heard on the 20th as planned, we can have an Embassy appointment date of either August 6th or more likely August 20th, which means we'd leave around the 15th of August! Woo hoo!
Just let this all be true...and let it all come together. It would be great to bring Addison home before his 16th birthday already! :)
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
The Ridiculous Saga Continues
Well, here we are...two years and almost four months into the process and still no Addison. Just the most ridiculous run-around ever. Today we were told that the ban has been officially lifted and that the courts will now give out new court dates. We are supposed to hear about our new court date tomorrow. That's great news. My brain tells me that we are supposed to be excited, but my heart just can't muster the energy. Mainly because we also got word today that the Ministry of Women's Affairs in Ethiopia (that handles all of the pre- and post-court paperwork related to adoptions) will now be closed for two weeks while they do a post-investigation/new protocol training. So, basically nothing can happen even if there were a new court date. They are supposed to be done with their training on the 24th of July, but the courts close soon after that for the rainy season, so the odds that we'll get a court date any time soon (that actually happens) is slim to none. It's just so frustrating and exhausting, and it's hard to not just become cold-hearted about the whole thing. The process has just been so disheartening and so beyond insane that there's just really nothing to say. Hence the time since we've blogged last. Sorry about that. The details are just so stupid that who cares. Just give us our damn kid already.
When we step back and look at the big picture, it really is beyond insane. There are about 4 million orphans in Ethiopia, most of whom are orphaned because their parents are either dead or dying or there is literally not enough food to feed them. And here we are 7,000+ miles away, amazing, happy people who want nothing more than to bring one of those orphans into our lives and love him to death... and spend our lives trying to fill the void that we can't imagine he must feel and will always know. And then there's a government that is understaffed, disorganized, and not necessarily excited about international adoption as an alternative for their country that first didn't hear our case, then put a ban on our case along with hundreds of others, then conducted an investigation, then completed the investigation, then announced that there was no foul play, then said our agency would hear soon...day after day after day after day!...and then said come back tomorrow once again and maybe we'll tell you what we'll do, and then decided to shut down their paperwork agency for two weeks, then decided to go on rainy season vacation, etc. etc. etc. while thousands of kids sit in orphanages and in transition homes while their prospective parents thousands of miles away cry themselves to sleep every night, night after night, angry and bitter and confused and sad one minute, hopeful the next. It's torture - on both ends. And no matter how much we rationalize it or try not to rationalize it...no matter how optimistic we try to be, it doesn't change the fact that Addison is being held prisoner along with thousands of other babies caught up in this nonsense while families sit and wait for "the call" to come in any minute, week after week after week. It's just too much. Too long. Too incredible. Was it Lord Byron who said the truth is stranger than fiction? So true. No one could even make this up.
When we step back and look at the big picture, it really is beyond insane. There are about 4 million orphans in Ethiopia, most of whom are orphaned because their parents are either dead or dying or there is literally not enough food to feed them. And here we are 7,000+ miles away, amazing, happy people who want nothing more than to bring one of those orphans into our lives and love him to death... and spend our lives trying to fill the void that we can't imagine he must feel and will always know. And then there's a government that is understaffed, disorganized, and not necessarily excited about international adoption as an alternative for their country that first didn't hear our case, then put a ban on our case along with hundreds of others, then conducted an investigation, then completed the investigation, then announced that there was no foul play, then said our agency would hear soon...day after day after day after day!...and then said come back tomorrow once again and maybe we'll tell you what we'll do, and then decided to shut down their paperwork agency for two weeks, then decided to go on rainy season vacation, etc. etc. etc. while thousands of kids sit in orphanages and in transition homes while their prospective parents thousands of miles away cry themselves to sleep every night, night after night, angry and bitter and confused and sad one minute, hopeful the next. It's torture - on both ends. And no matter how much we rationalize it or try not to rationalize it...no matter how optimistic we try to be, it doesn't change the fact that Addison is being held prisoner along with thousands of other babies caught up in this nonsense while families sit and wait for "the call" to come in any minute, week after week after week. It's just too much. Too long. Too incredible. Was it Lord Byron who said the truth is stranger than fiction? So true. No one could even make this up.
Thursday, July 2, 2009
New Pix
Today we got two new pictures of Addison. OMG!!!! He is SO friggin' adorable I can't stand it! We almost didn't recognize him because he is so grown. He's 8 1/2 months old now and 19 1/2 lbs. They're definitely feeding him over there. We can't wait to show the pix! You'll die. He's such a little munchin. I wanna eat him!
Sunday, June 21, 2009
No Foul Play
According to our program director who is in Addis Ababa now, the investigation is over and there was no foul play. That's great news! We are supposed to hear some time this week how they will handle our case, so hopefully we'll be back on the docket soon. That would be great, since it's been 6 weeks of ridiculousness at this point.
We've been doing well though. Summer is keeping us busy and distracted and Radames' "let it work itself out" mantra has effectively rubbed off on me as we try to soak out every minute of summer with Ella before she starts school in less than a month! Yikes!
Hope you like the new blog skin. Here's a new pic of Addison's nursery, too.
We've been doing well though. Summer is keeping us busy and distracted and Radames' "let it work itself out" mantra has effectively rubbed off on me as we try to soak out every minute of summer with Ella before she starts school in less than a month! Yikes!
Hope you like the new blog skin. Here's a new pic of Addison's nursery, too.
Saturday, June 13, 2009
The Investigation is Over
Well, the good news is that the Ethiopian investigation is officially now over. The bad news is that the powers that be haven't formally announced the results or their decision on what will happen next. We all assume that will happen in the next week or so, though, b/c the agencies have decided to go to the courts and officially request a lift on the ban even if there is no official announcement in the next few days. All in all, that's great news, b/c it means that there's progress. And progress is our friend these days. :)
We've also been reading rumors that the courts will stay open through Aug and Sept rather than closing down for the rainy season, which is usually what happens each year on Aug 1. That would be awesome, b/c it would mean that we'd have a better chance of getting our rescheduled case heard, if (fingers crossed) we get put back on the docket soon. Everyone cross your fingers and toes for us that we'll hear good news soon and that we'll get a new court date!
We've been doing pretty well these days, all said and done. We've been busy with work, tee-ball and tae kwon do, summer parties/get togethers with Ella's little freinds, traveling, bringing in new biz, etc. As sick and twisted as it sounds, it's getting easier each day, b/c we are getting more and more removed from it. It was such a blow at first, but now we're just chugging along and living life and enjoying summer and confident that it will happen, just not on the schedule we planned for. Ella starts school in a month, so maybe it's a blessing that we are just getting to eak out her last month of "freedom" with her. Goodness knows our whole lives are getting ready to change because of that, so maybe it's supposed to be that Addison's not here yet. Just trying to be optimistic.
Oh, and how could i forget!? Addison turned 8 months old today. :) Wish we could have spent it with him. :) But...the riper the berry, the sweeter the juice...and I don't mean that in a sexual way. HA!
We've also been reading rumors that the courts will stay open through Aug and Sept rather than closing down for the rainy season, which is usually what happens each year on Aug 1. That would be awesome, b/c it would mean that we'd have a better chance of getting our rescheduled case heard, if (fingers crossed) we get put back on the docket soon. Everyone cross your fingers and toes for us that we'll hear good news soon and that we'll get a new court date!
We've been doing pretty well these days, all said and done. We've been busy with work, tee-ball and tae kwon do, summer parties/get togethers with Ella's little freinds, traveling, bringing in new biz, etc. As sick and twisted as it sounds, it's getting easier each day, b/c we are getting more and more removed from it. It was such a blow at first, but now we're just chugging along and living life and enjoying summer and confident that it will happen, just not on the schedule we planned for. Ella starts school in a month, so maybe it's a blessing that we are just getting to eak out her last month of "freedom" with her. Goodness knows our whole lives are getting ready to change because of that, so maybe it's supposed to be that Addison's not here yet. Just trying to be optimistic.
Oh, and how could i forget!? Addison turned 8 months old today. :) Wish we could have spent it with him. :) But...the riper the berry, the sweeter the juice...and I don't mean that in a sexual way. HA!
Saturday, June 6, 2009
What a week! But at least we're in NYC!
Ah, what a week. Another emotianally-charged, beyond-exhausting week. Today marks the 4th week that we got word that our court case was delayed, and, unfortunately, there's still no resolution. We did hear today from our program director that our in-country rep heard directly from the courts today (while he was there with other cases) that the investigation had been completed. But when asked what was discovered, he was told "go find out for yourself." Lovely. They didn't give him any answers as to when the cases would be put on the docket or what their decision moving forward would be. But the good news is that the investigation appears to be over. Things are progressing along well. The bad news is that we still have no idea what that means in general or for us. It's also bad news that we saw on an info blog today that the orphanage Addison is from is one of the five that are still under investigation and/or are still waiting. Again, lovely (insert sarcastic tone here). We have no idea if that's actually true, b/c the blogosphere is a giant cluster-f-ck of bad and half information, but it still didn't feel so great.
Honestly, it's just been such an emotionally draining week on the adoption front. The main reason was that our adoption counselor, whom we love dearly, was fired. (PS. That has nothing to do with Addison or our actual adoption.) Radames and I were devastated. And pissed off! The fact that we and other families are going through so much right now, and then to rip the one person we had a strong, supportive relationship with away from us at the most inopportune time ever was so infuriating. I honestly almost threw up when Radames told. And he, being mr. calm and cool throughout this whole process, was livid. He just kept yelling, "this is so f--ed up...I'm totally writing a letter of complaint about the woman who fired her...how dare they...why are we all being punishd because she was too close to us..." Let's just say Wed night was not a good night. Our confidence level in the whole process was at 0%! And logically we know that her leaving will have no impact on us bringing our son home, but emotionally it had a huge impact. And it was just one more thing that just felt so damn screwed up about this whole process. I just kept saying to Radames, "I'm totally starting IVF again as soon as we get home. I could have had three babies by this point! Nothing could be worse than this." And I meant it.
It's still so hard to believe that Toni's gone, but today was a bit better, thanks to Meredith talking me off the ledge. (Thanks, Mer!) I totally wanted to email our agency and just blast the shit out of them. But I knew that wouldn't do any good. Honestly, I could care less if I ever hear from any of them again at this point. Just some one tell us when we can go pick up our damn son! It's so beyond ridiculous at this point. I could really care less about their updates and niceties at this point. Everytime we start to heal a bit, they come along and rub some salt in our wounds, so why engage.
Okay, so I'll stop being bitter now. (Well, at least "out loud" on our blog.) The good thing that has happened this week is: we are spending the week together as a family in NYC. It's so nice to be back here. We are hanging out with old friends, having great lunches and dinners and getting to do fun things. I'm still working like a dog, which has meant like 4 hours of sleep every night, but I'm doing everything I can to cram some social life in around the work hours. We just desperately needed to get out of TN and get back here. Not that there's anything wrong with TN, of course, but it's just good to sit around and have dinner chat with our ny friends that we never have to watch our tongues with, understand the same jokes, make fun of the same things, chat about work life, etc. It's so emotionally relaxing to us to get face time with people we only get to connect with electronically these days. Ella's had a blast seeing her "Brooklyn friends" and cousins and we've loved being in the city.
And we've loved seeing brown faces. (Those of you who know us well know what we mean.) It's just important for us (and Ella!) to not live in a bubble, especially at this time in our lives. Today Ella got her hair braided by Jordan's nanny, which for some strange reason, made me really happy. She's gotten to be around all of her Dominican cousins and hear her grandma speak Spanish all week. And tonight we were at Mike and Heather's house and I was holding their youngest son, Phoenix, who is about 3 weeks younger than Addison, and it was just nice to have him in my arms. He's so adorable, and, personally, I just needed to smell a baby and see big brown eyes staring up at me. For a minute, I got to have hope again. And I got to see Ella playing with Ryan (their 3-year-old) again and it just felt right. It's important...for reasons that I don't need to explain.
Tonight, Radames is still out DJ'ing with Mike, and I couldn't be happier. He needs to be at a club at 2:00am. I know this city gives him his fuel, and I love to see him happy and "at home". Yesterday, we walked by a hat store on the lower east side, and it turned out that my friend Monika from Nickelodeon that we were meeting for dinner was friends with the owners, and next thing you know, Radames was trying on crazy handmade fedoras that only he could pull off. He told the guy to custom make him one made out of some...well, basically a burlap sack type of material. He gave the guy $300 and told him to text him when it was done. If it weren't this week, I would have been like, "what the hell are you doing?", but, honestly, if the stupid hat cost $1000 I would have been happy to have him buy it. These are the quirky NYC things that make him happy. And he deserves a dumb hat for so so many reasons.
Tomorrow we are taking Ella to see Pinkalious the play (based on the book). She and her cousin Noemi are so doggone excited. I know it'll be fun. And then we're doing a Belmont party out on Long Island. Radames will have SO much fun with "his boys" there. I love seeing him with them. Ella and I will probably leave to go see other friends that live on LI, but I'm looking forward to another fun day as a family.
I know it'll get better. It has to. Goodness knows there's no where to go but up on this roller coaster. I was brave enough to look at Addison's video and pic again tonight when I was showing them to Heather. It had been a while since I'd looked at them. Mostly out of need to preserve my own sanity and to start to disconnect a bit...just in case. It was nice to "see" him again. :) I really hope he gets to be ours after all. I want to believe he was meant to be ours and that there's a reason for all of this.
Honestly, it's just been such an emotionally draining week on the adoption front. The main reason was that our adoption counselor, whom we love dearly, was fired. (PS. That has nothing to do with Addison or our actual adoption.) Radames and I were devastated. And pissed off! The fact that we and other families are going through so much right now, and then to rip the one person we had a strong, supportive relationship with away from us at the most inopportune time ever was so infuriating. I honestly almost threw up when Radames told. And he, being mr. calm and cool throughout this whole process, was livid. He just kept yelling, "this is so f--ed up...I'm totally writing a letter of complaint about the woman who fired her...how dare they...why are we all being punishd because she was too close to us..." Let's just say Wed night was not a good night. Our confidence level in the whole process was at 0%! And logically we know that her leaving will have no impact on us bringing our son home, but emotionally it had a huge impact. And it was just one more thing that just felt so damn screwed up about this whole process. I just kept saying to Radames, "I'm totally starting IVF again as soon as we get home. I could have had three babies by this point! Nothing could be worse than this." And I meant it.
It's still so hard to believe that Toni's gone, but today was a bit better, thanks to Meredith talking me off the ledge. (Thanks, Mer!) I totally wanted to email our agency and just blast the shit out of them. But I knew that wouldn't do any good. Honestly, I could care less if I ever hear from any of them again at this point. Just some one tell us when we can go pick up our damn son! It's so beyond ridiculous at this point. I could really care less about their updates and niceties at this point. Everytime we start to heal a bit, they come along and rub some salt in our wounds, so why engage.
Okay, so I'll stop being bitter now. (Well, at least "out loud" on our blog.) The good thing that has happened this week is: we are spending the week together as a family in NYC. It's so nice to be back here. We are hanging out with old friends, having great lunches and dinners and getting to do fun things. I'm still working like a dog, which has meant like 4 hours of sleep every night, but I'm doing everything I can to cram some social life in around the work hours. We just desperately needed to get out of TN and get back here. Not that there's anything wrong with TN, of course, but it's just good to sit around and have dinner chat with our ny friends that we never have to watch our tongues with, understand the same jokes, make fun of the same things, chat about work life, etc. It's so emotionally relaxing to us to get face time with people we only get to connect with electronically these days. Ella's had a blast seeing her "Brooklyn friends" and cousins and we've loved being in the city.
And we've loved seeing brown faces. (Those of you who know us well know what we mean.) It's just important for us (and Ella!) to not live in a bubble, especially at this time in our lives. Today Ella got her hair braided by Jordan's nanny, which for some strange reason, made me really happy. She's gotten to be around all of her Dominican cousins and hear her grandma speak Spanish all week. And tonight we were at Mike and Heather's house and I was holding their youngest son, Phoenix, who is about 3 weeks younger than Addison, and it was just nice to have him in my arms. He's so adorable, and, personally, I just needed to smell a baby and see big brown eyes staring up at me. For a minute, I got to have hope again. And I got to see Ella playing with Ryan (their 3-year-old) again and it just felt right. It's important...for reasons that I don't need to explain.
Tonight, Radames is still out DJ'ing with Mike, and I couldn't be happier. He needs to be at a club at 2:00am. I know this city gives him his fuel, and I love to see him happy and "at home". Yesterday, we walked by a hat store on the lower east side, and it turned out that my friend Monika from Nickelodeon that we were meeting for dinner was friends with the owners, and next thing you know, Radames was trying on crazy handmade fedoras that only he could pull off. He told the guy to custom make him one made out of some...well, basically a burlap sack type of material. He gave the guy $300 and told him to text him when it was done. If it weren't this week, I would have been like, "what the hell are you doing?", but, honestly, if the stupid hat cost $1000 I would have been happy to have him buy it. These are the quirky NYC things that make him happy. And he deserves a dumb hat for so so many reasons.
Tomorrow we are taking Ella to see Pinkalious the play (based on the book). She and her cousin Noemi are so doggone excited. I know it'll be fun. And then we're doing a Belmont party out on Long Island. Radames will have SO much fun with "his boys" there. I love seeing him with them. Ella and I will probably leave to go see other friends that live on LI, but I'm looking forward to another fun day as a family.
I know it'll get better. It has to. Goodness knows there's no where to go but up on this roller coaster. I was brave enough to look at Addison's video and pic again tonight when I was showing them to Heather. It had been a while since I'd looked at them. Mostly out of need to preserve my own sanity and to start to disconnect a bit...just in case. It was nice to "see" him again. :) I really hope he gets to be ours after all. I want to believe he was meant to be ours and that there's a reason for all of this.
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