According to our program director who is in Addis Ababa now, the investigation is over and there was no foul play. That's great news! We are supposed to hear some time this week how they will handle our case, so hopefully we'll be back on the docket soon. That would be great, since it's been 6 weeks of ridiculousness at this point.
We've been doing well though. Summer is keeping us busy and distracted and Radames' "let it work itself out" mantra has effectively rubbed off on me as we try to soak out every minute of summer with Ella before she starts school in less than a month! Yikes!
Hope you like the new blog skin. Here's a new pic of Addison's nursery, too.
Sunday, June 21, 2009
Saturday, June 13, 2009
The Investigation is Over
Well, the good news is that the Ethiopian investigation is officially now over. The bad news is that the powers that be haven't formally announced the results or their decision on what will happen next. We all assume that will happen in the next week or so, though, b/c the agencies have decided to go to the courts and officially request a lift on the ban even if there is no official announcement in the next few days. All in all, that's great news, b/c it means that there's progress. And progress is our friend these days. :)
We've also been reading rumors that the courts will stay open through Aug and Sept rather than closing down for the rainy season, which is usually what happens each year on Aug 1. That would be awesome, b/c it would mean that we'd have a better chance of getting our rescheduled case heard, if (fingers crossed) we get put back on the docket soon. Everyone cross your fingers and toes for us that we'll hear good news soon and that we'll get a new court date!
We've been doing pretty well these days, all said and done. We've been busy with work, tee-ball and tae kwon do, summer parties/get togethers with Ella's little freinds, traveling, bringing in new biz, etc. As sick and twisted as it sounds, it's getting easier each day, b/c we are getting more and more removed from it. It was such a blow at first, but now we're just chugging along and living life and enjoying summer and confident that it will happen, just not on the schedule we planned for. Ella starts school in a month, so maybe it's a blessing that we are just getting to eak out her last month of "freedom" with her. Goodness knows our whole lives are getting ready to change because of that, so maybe it's supposed to be that Addison's not here yet. Just trying to be optimistic.
Oh, and how could i forget!? Addison turned 8 months old today. :) Wish we could have spent it with him. :) But...the riper the berry, the sweeter the juice...and I don't mean that in a sexual way. HA!
We've also been reading rumors that the courts will stay open through Aug and Sept rather than closing down for the rainy season, which is usually what happens each year on Aug 1. That would be awesome, b/c it would mean that we'd have a better chance of getting our rescheduled case heard, if (fingers crossed) we get put back on the docket soon. Everyone cross your fingers and toes for us that we'll hear good news soon and that we'll get a new court date!
We've been doing pretty well these days, all said and done. We've been busy with work, tee-ball and tae kwon do, summer parties/get togethers with Ella's little freinds, traveling, bringing in new biz, etc. As sick and twisted as it sounds, it's getting easier each day, b/c we are getting more and more removed from it. It was such a blow at first, but now we're just chugging along and living life and enjoying summer and confident that it will happen, just not on the schedule we planned for. Ella starts school in a month, so maybe it's a blessing that we are just getting to eak out her last month of "freedom" with her. Goodness knows our whole lives are getting ready to change because of that, so maybe it's supposed to be that Addison's not here yet. Just trying to be optimistic.
Oh, and how could i forget!? Addison turned 8 months old today. :) Wish we could have spent it with him. :) But...the riper the berry, the sweeter the juice...and I don't mean that in a sexual way. HA!
Saturday, June 6, 2009
What a week! But at least we're in NYC!
Ah, what a week. Another emotianally-charged, beyond-exhausting week. Today marks the 4th week that we got word that our court case was delayed, and, unfortunately, there's still no resolution. We did hear today from our program director that our in-country rep heard directly from the courts today (while he was there with other cases) that the investigation had been completed. But when asked what was discovered, he was told "go find out for yourself." Lovely. They didn't give him any answers as to when the cases would be put on the docket or what their decision moving forward would be. But the good news is that the investigation appears to be over. Things are progressing along well. The bad news is that we still have no idea what that means in general or for us. It's also bad news that we saw on an info blog today that the orphanage Addison is from is one of the five that are still under investigation and/or are still waiting. Again, lovely (insert sarcastic tone here). We have no idea if that's actually true, b/c the blogosphere is a giant cluster-f-ck of bad and half information, but it still didn't feel so great.
Honestly, it's just been such an emotionally draining week on the adoption front. The main reason was that our adoption counselor, whom we love dearly, was fired. (PS. That has nothing to do with Addison or our actual adoption.) Radames and I were devastated. And pissed off! The fact that we and other families are going through so much right now, and then to rip the one person we had a strong, supportive relationship with away from us at the most inopportune time ever was so infuriating. I honestly almost threw up when Radames told. And he, being mr. calm and cool throughout this whole process, was livid. He just kept yelling, "this is so f--ed up...I'm totally writing a letter of complaint about the woman who fired her...how dare they...why are we all being punishd because she was too close to us..." Let's just say Wed night was not a good night. Our confidence level in the whole process was at 0%! And logically we know that her leaving will have no impact on us bringing our son home, but emotionally it had a huge impact. And it was just one more thing that just felt so damn screwed up about this whole process. I just kept saying to Radames, "I'm totally starting IVF again as soon as we get home. I could have had three babies by this point! Nothing could be worse than this." And I meant it.
It's still so hard to believe that Toni's gone, but today was a bit better, thanks to Meredith talking me off the ledge. (Thanks, Mer!) I totally wanted to email our agency and just blast the shit out of them. But I knew that wouldn't do any good. Honestly, I could care less if I ever hear from any of them again at this point. Just some one tell us when we can go pick up our damn son! It's so beyond ridiculous at this point. I could really care less about their updates and niceties at this point. Everytime we start to heal a bit, they come along and rub some salt in our wounds, so why engage.
Okay, so I'll stop being bitter now. (Well, at least "out loud" on our blog.) The good thing that has happened this week is: we are spending the week together as a family in NYC. It's so nice to be back here. We are hanging out with old friends, having great lunches and dinners and getting to do fun things. I'm still working like a dog, which has meant like 4 hours of sleep every night, but I'm doing everything I can to cram some social life in around the work hours. We just desperately needed to get out of TN and get back here. Not that there's anything wrong with TN, of course, but it's just good to sit around and have dinner chat with our ny friends that we never have to watch our tongues with, understand the same jokes, make fun of the same things, chat about work life, etc. It's so emotionally relaxing to us to get face time with people we only get to connect with electronically these days. Ella's had a blast seeing her "Brooklyn friends" and cousins and we've loved being in the city.
And we've loved seeing brown faces. (Those of you who know us well know what we mean.) It's just important for us (and Ella!) to not live in a bubble, especially at this time in our lives. Today Ella got her hair braided by Jordan's nanny, which for some strange reason, made me really happy. She's gotten to be around all of her Dominican cousins and hear her grandma speak Spanish all week. And tonight we were at Mike and Heather's house and I was holding their youngest son, Phoenix, who is about 3 weeks younger than Addison, and it was just nice to have him in my arms. He's so adorable, and, personally, I just needed to smell a baby and see big brown eyes staring up at me. For a minute, I got to have hope again. And I got to see Ella playing with Ryan (their 3-year-old) again and it just felt right. It's important...for reasons that I don't need to explain.
Tonight, Radames is still out DJ'ing with Mike, and I couldn't be happier. He needs to be at a club at 2:00am. I know this city gives him his fuel, and I love to see him happy and "at home". Yesterday, we walked by a hat store on the lower east side, and it turned out that my friend Monika from Nickelodeon that we were meeting for dinner was friends with the owners, and next thing you know, Radames was trying on crazy handmade fedoras that only he could pull off. He told the guy to custom make him one made out of some...well, basically a burlap sack type of material. He gave the guy $300 and told him to text him when it was done. If it weren't this week, I would have been like, "what the hell are you doing?", but, honestly, if the stupid hat cost $1000 I would have been happy to have him buy it. These are the quirky NYC things that make him happy. And he deserves a dumb hat for so so many reasons.
Tomorrow we are taking Ella to see Pinkalious the play (based on the book). She and her cousin Noemi are so doggone excited. I know it'll be fun. And then we're doing a Belmont party out on Long Island. Radames will have SO much fun with "his boys" there. I love seeing him with them. Ella and I will probably leave to go see other friends that live on LI, but I'm looking forward to another fun day as a family.
I know it'll get better. It has to. Goodness knows there's no where to go but up on this roller coaster. I was brave enough to look at Addison's video and pic again tonight when I was showing them to Heather. It had been a while since I'd looked at them. Mostly out of need to preserve my own sanity and to start to disconnect a bit...just in case. It was nice to "see" him again. :) I really hope he gets to be ours after all. I want to believe he was meant to be ours and that there's a reason for all of this.
Honestly, it's just been such an emotionally draining week on the adoption front. The main reason was that our adoption counselor, whom we love dearly, was fired. (PS. That has nothing to do with Addison or our actual adoption.) Radames and I were devastated. And pissed off! The fact that we and other families are going through so much right now, and then to rip the one person we had a strong, supportive relationship with away from us at the most inopportune time ever was so infuriating. I honestly almost threw up when Radames told. And he, being mr. calm and cool throughout this whole process, was livid. He just kept yelling, "this is so f--ed up...I'm totally writing a letter of complaint about the woman who fired her...how dare they...why are we all being punishd because she was too close to us..." Let's just say Wed night was not a good night. Our confidence level in the whole process was at 0%! And logically we know that her leaving will have no impact on us bringing our son home, but emotionally it had a huge impact. And it was just one more thing that just felt so damn screwed up about this whole process. I just kept saying to Radames, "I'm totally starting IVF again as soon as we get home. I could have had three babies by this point! Nothing could be worse than this." And I meant it.
It's still so hard to believe that Toni's gone, but today was a bit better, thanks to Meredith talking me off the ledge. (Thanks, Mer!) I totally wanted to email our agency and just blast the shit out of them. But I knew that wouldn't do any good. Honestly, I could care less if I ever hear from any of them again at this point. Just some one tell us when we can go pick up our damn son! It's so beyond ridiculous at this point. I could really care less about their updates and niceties at this point. Everytime we start to heal a bit, they come along and rub some salt in our wounds, so why engage.
Okay, so I'll stop being bitter now. (Well, at least "out loud" on our blog.) The good thing that has happened this week is: we are spending the week together as a family in NYC. It's so nice to be back here. We are hanging out with old friends, having great lunches and dinners and getting to do fun things. I'm still working like a dog, which has meant like 4 hours of sleep every night, but I'm doing everything I can to cram some social life in around the work hours. We just desperately needed to get out of TN and get back here. Not that there's anything wrong with TN, of course, but it's just good to sit around and have dinner chat with our ny friends that we never have to watch our tongues with, understand the same jokes, make fun of the same things, chat about work life, etc. It's so emotionally relaxing to us to get face time with people we only get to connect with electronically these days. Ella's had a blast seeing her "Brooklyn friends" and cousins and we've loved being in the city.
And we've loved seeing brown faces. (Those of you who know us well know what we mean.) It's just important for us (and Ella!) to not live in a bubble, especially at this time in our lives. Today Ella got her hair braided by Jordan's nanny, which for some strange reason, made me really happy. She's gotten to be around all of her Dominican cousins and hear her grandma speak Spanish all week. And tonight we were at Mike and Heather's house and I was holding their youngest son, Phoenix, who is about 3 weeks younger than Addison, and it was just nice to have him in my arms. He's so adorable, and, personally, I just needed to smell a baby and see big brown eyes staring up at me. For a minute, I got to have hope again. And I got to see Ella playing with Ryan (their 3-year-old) again and it just felt right. It's important...for reasons that I don't need to explain.
Tonight, Radames is still out DJ'ing with Mike, and I couldn't be happier. He needs to be at a club at 2:00am. I know this city gives him his fuel, and I love to see him happy and "at home". Yesterday, we walked by a hat store on the lower east side, and it turned out that my friend Monika from Nickelodeon that we were meeting for dinner was friends with the owners, and next thing you know, Radames was trying on crazy handmade fedoras that only he could pull off. He told the guy to custom make him one made out of some...well, basically a burlap sack type of material. He gave the guy $300 and told him to text him when it was done. If it weren't this week, I would have been like, "what the hell are you doing?", but, honestly, if the stupid hat cost $1000 I would have been happy to have him buy it. These are the quirky NYC things that make him happy. And he deserves a dumb hat for so so many reasons.
Tomorrow we are taking Ella to see Pinkalious the play (based on the book). She and her cousin Noemi are so doggone excited. I know it'll be fun. And then we're doing a Belmont party out on Long Island. Radames will have SO much fun with "his boys" there. I love seeing him with them. Ella and I will probably leave to go see other friends that live on LI, but I'm looking forward to another fun day as a family.
I know it'll get better. It has to. Goodness knows there's no where to go but up on this roller coaster. I was brave enough to look at Addison's video and pic again tonight when I was showing them to Heather. It had been a while since I'd looked at them. Mostly out of need to preserve my own sanity and to start to disconnect a bit...just in case. It was nice to "see" him again. :) I really hope he gets to be ours after all. I want to believe he was meant to be ours and that there's a reason for all of this.
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