We Started to Tell the Family

Well, we're down to #4 on the boy list (23 overall) and the referral call could come any day. So... this Christmas/New Year's break is the time to tell our families and friends. I (WT) told most of my family on Saturday night at our little Christmas get-together, and they were less than excited. They pretty much said nothing and haven't brought it up since. Oh well...what can you do. Next on the docket is to tell Radames parents. Radames has no idea how they'll react. They'll probably have a million questions, b/c adoption isn't very common in Spanish culture.

Then, the next steps is to let all of our friends and extended families know. That'll be excting, because I'm sure they'll be supportive and sweet about it. We'd like to let people know before the referral comes in, which could be as early as the week of the 5th of Jan! yikes! We're counting the minutes! :)

Got The Call, But Not THE Call

So today at around 2:30PM, we recieved a call from our adoption agency representative. She was calling to make sure they had the right information regarding our placement. They have had 8 referrals already this week and it's not even Friday. So there could be more before they leave at noon tomorrow. She informed us that we are now #25 overall and #6 on the boys list and we are NUMBER ONE if they get a boy that is between 12-15 months old. The five families in front of us are all waiting for boys are only approved for 0-12-months-olds. (We are waiting for a boy 0-15 months.) SO we could get the BIG CALL as early as tomorrow. If we dont get it tomorrow, we more than likely will get it after the new year. Our rep told us that even their offices will be closed their offices in Ethiopia will be still getting referrals while they're on the holiday break. After our agency goes back to their offices on Jan. 5th, they will hopefully have a ton of referrals and we could be one of the lucky ones.

My head is already spinning because it is beginning to come to fruition. There will be another person with Ella, Wynne, and myself. Another person to add to our craziness. I am already thinking about changing diapers, making formula, setting a new bedtime, and hoping that Ella does not wake up when the kid wakes up in the middle of the night.

We told the Smarty Pants team

Last night we told the SP team at our holiday get-together here in TN, and they were super supportive and nice about the whole thing. We were sort of nervous, b/c we haven't really told anyone yet and this was a big "coming out" party for us. It made it all feel quite real, and we even shed a few tears as we were telling people - something we hadn't done yet. Ella started to dance around in her Big Sister t-shirt and fairie skirt and everyone gave us lots of big hugs and told us how happy they were for us. It was really nice. We stayed up for a while just sharing some of the details and gabbing out the process. It was quite a relief to let people know finally. We have the best staff ever! Now we just have to tell our families. Yikes! Who knows how that will go.

About to let the kid out of the bag

So, we've decided that when our staff comes in to town on the 15th-16th of Dec for an end of year get-together, we're gonna spill the beans. At that time, it'll be 5 months and 3+ weeks on the waiting list, and the wait time is 6-9 months - with boy requests leaning more to the six side. Yikes! We haven't figured out exactly how we'll tell everyone, but we're gonna do it. During the holidays we'll be telling our families and friends and co-workers. Oh, boy. I can only imagine. We're more nervous about our families, because they are going to have a harder time understanding. We're sure everyone will be happy for us, though. Well, we hope.

As of today, we're #40 on the overall list and #14 on the list of those not waiting for a girl or a sibling pair. Basically, there needs to be 13 other boys matched before we'd get our call. There were no referrals at all the last two weeks, so that hopefully means that a bunch will be coming in very soon. They tend to go in little waves - first a lot, then none, then alot again. There's been a 2-3 week "dry spell", so hopefully more will come in next week and we'll be below #10 when we tell people. We hate to tell them like 3 months before it even happens.

OMG! I'm so nervous about the thought of telling people. Radames has said that he wants me to bring it up at our company meeting...so I've gotta figure out a fun plan.

Referrals are Pouring In

So for the last few weeks, the referrals have finally been rolling in. We've really just tried to put the adoption out of our minds, but now as the matches are being made, we're realizing it might actually happen! Our new fingerprints have been sent to Addis Ababa and there shouldn't be any problems with our dossier. So, it almost feels too good to be true that we're all up to date and that the referrals have been coming in for the last three weeks in a row. On 9/15 we were number 67 on the list, and since then it looks like about 23 kids have been referred. Yikes! Does that mean we could really be down in the 40's now!? There were only 26 people waiting for boys 0-15 months in front of us on the list on July 29th, so it could be that there are only 15 or so now! Yikes! Could this really be happening!? I mean could we really be getting a call one day in December or January or February to say our son is ready for us??? It doesn't even feel real right now. It's crazy to even think about it. But so exciting that things are moving along again, that's for sure.

Finally, some referrals

Well, there were finally some new referrals last week. On Friday we were so happy to read that five new kids - 4 girls and 1 boy - were being referred. it has been 9 weeks since there had been any referrals, and, needless to say, we were not feeling so hot about the crazy delays in referrals. The courts were closed for the rainy season, but referrals were still supposed to be happening and they weren't. We're just so happy that things are picking back up. If my math is right, that brings us down to #62 overall and #26 on the boy list. Gosh, if there is a boy refferal or two each week, MAYBE we'll finally get matched 13 weeks from now. Jeez Louise, has it really been over a year and a half that we've been waiting to get a kid from a country that has millions of orphans dying from starvation every day!? It just seems so ridiculous. It's hard to even have any hope, given all the craziness that has gone on. I don't think it'll ever be real into he's in our arms.

70 and counting

Today our social worker let us know we were #70 on the overall list and #27 on the list of people waiting for a boy 0-15 months old. Yipee. It's getting closer. (and pretty good considering we were #280 something on the waiting list for Vietnam).

We though we'd tell people when we first got on the waiting list, but it's been a month since that happened and we haven't moved too far down the list yet, so we're still just holding out a bit more. Maybe once we're number 5 or 10 on the list and the call could come any minute, we'll officially let the kitty out of the bag. :)

A close call

Today our agency sent us an email notification that they had lost their Hague Accreditation. Yikes! That's basically the international license that countries use to say "yes, we'll agree to guidelines set out the Hague Treaty about how we'll handle children and international adoptions." For a long, convoluted reason that had something to do with some admins not following the proper notary procedures, the agencies accreditation wasn't renewed. Obviously that sent us into a tizzy, b/c no accreditation means no adoptions.

The good news is that Ethiopia is actually a country that doesn't abide by the Hague guidelines, and the agency's ability to continue adoptions from Ethiopia isn't in any way affected. That's a major relief, since we've already been waiting so long, and we already went through the Vietnamese drama that meant we needed to switch countries.

Hopefully, everything will be fine and our little son will be home with us soon. Will this ever end!? (or should i say, begin...)

We picked a name!

So, today, we were driving to Myrtle Beach to do a little vacationing with the fam, and we had lots of time to just relax and talk. In all our ramblings, we talked again about our son's name. This topic is a tricky one, b/c we kind of want to be respectful and just let the kid keep his birth name, since everthing else in his world is changing. But then again we don't want to have a kid whose name is botched his whole life (oh, kinda like wynne and radames!).

Anyway, the way names work in Ethiopia is that the kid's first name is his chosen name and the last name is the father's first name. (Every name is about honor and family tradition and connection back to the dad and then mom.) So, when we leave Ethiopia, the kid will legally be Whatever Radames. Kinda funny, huh? We can make him be named whatever we want when we legally re-adopt him here, though, which we'll have to do.

Anyway, we've been struggling to figure out a given name that is somehow connected back to Ethiopia and that will have cultural meaning to his birth. But we do want something that sounds good with Tyree-Rodriguez, since that's already messed up enough as it is. Radames likes Miles (as in Davis), which i think is kinda cool, b/c it's also connected back to how many miles we'll have to travel to find him. :) He also likes Langston (as in Hughes) and Luca (don't ask!), Akeem (okay, i just can't be the mother of a kid named akeem!), Alexander (because he thinks it's powerful). I've been in the camp of something crusty and white like Holden or Devan. It was looking like it'd be Miles, because at least we can agree to that one.

So I was on YouTube watching more Addis Ababa videos and it totally came to me! It's the perfect name. I said it out loud and Radames said it was perfect, too. It's done. It's a great name. It's American and easy to pronounce but it's perfectly connected back to Ethiopia. I can't wait to share it, and it's meaning, but i won't spill the beans yet...in case some of you don't like it. We don't want to hear about it. :)

This is major. Finally having a name makes him feel more real. He's just been a bunch of paperwork so far, so finally having a name helps us wrap our heads around the fact we'll actually have another child soon. Yipee!

Yikes! The Travel Guide Arrived

So, today the "Prepare for Your Trip to Ethiopia" guide arrived. It was only a week or so after our dossier was sent to Ethiopia, so it totally caught us by surprise. It seemed a little surreal that a trip to Ethiopia could be in our future. We spent all afternoon and evening reading it! There's some crazy stuff in there that we totally weren't prepared for - like the fact that I can't wear shorts there! That's the biggest crock of sexist shit I've ever heard! I yelling for like an hour about that. And then there's the 8500 ft. in the air altitude of the capital city we'll be going to. It's like two Denvers stacked on top of each other..and they recommend altitude sickness medicine b/c it's hard to breath there. So, compound 1000 degrees + no air + pants and long sleeves b/c I'm a woman, and I'm already having a virtual panic attack. Radames also made me read and re-read the line about "things happen on Ethiopian time and you have to be extremely patient". I've got a lot of prep work to do. Then there's the taking anything and everything you will need to take care of your child permanently, b/c they give you your child as soon as you get to the House of Hope. Technically, our son will already be ours when we get there, b/c we have signed over power of attorney to the agency to go to court for us and adopt him. (We just wait for a week or so for him to get his travel visa to get home with us.) So, we've gotta take diapers, formula (which we've never even used!), clothes, blankets, snacks, bottled water, lice medicine, scabies medicine, diaper rash med, etc. It's so friggin' overwhelming that Radames got a migraine and had to go to bed, and I just sat in the bathroom floor in some sort of drug addict coma trying to process it all. I mean the list of stuff we have to take is out of control! And then there's all the papers and what to sign and not sign and not to give to such and such a person but to only give to this person or what hours we can go back to the orphanage so we can hang out with our son's caregivers and friends, etc....and how we can't eat anything we don't boil, cook or peel...and how the Muslim morning prayers start at 5am on the citywide loud speakers (as the roosters crow)..and how not to give the millions of people who will ask us for money any money even though you'll want to...and on and on and on. We are totally unprepared for this. The trip itself just seems so overwhelming. And since there's not really a son to get excited about, all we are focused on is the travel detail that i'm sure will be forgotten once it's all over. Right now it just seems so insurmountable. And how about the fact that the plane ride home is sometimes the time your child decides to freak out and realize they've been...well, for all intents and purposes, kidnapped from everything they know...and you don't even know how to sing them a lullaby in their native tongue. Oh, lord, when are we learning Amharic. We can't even pronounce the name of the language! Can we do this!?

Officially on the the waiting list!

Today is such a milestone. Our dossier was sent off to Ethiopia today! Oh my goodness! It's actually going to happen! we are officially number 73 on the list now, but Toni says we're much lower on the list overall, b/c we want a boy and lots of families are waiting for either infants only (0-12 months) or girls or siblings groups. For all we know, we could be #20 or so of families that are waiting for boys up to 15 months. Holy shit...is this really happening! June 28th will be day 1 of officially "waiting" although we've been waiting for almost a year and half already. Wish us luck!

We got word today that our dossier has been sent to DC. Woo hoo! Only 2 more weeks or so until the dossier is in Ethiopia and our official wait time begins. They say it could be anywhere between 2 weeks and 7 months before we get our referral (match).

Well, this blog might be a surprise to many of you. We're sorry about that. But this has been a pretty long, trying process with a lot of false starts and misteps. For sanity sake, we opted to keep the process personal until the final months and weeks. We're excited that you know now. Our family is getting ready to change in a big way, and we're glad to be bringing you all in to the fold. There's still a long way to go, and once our son comes home, the journey has really just begun. Please send us good vibes.