What the Doc Said

Our first order of biz today was to get to our doctor and share all of our son's medical records with her and get her to tell us what it all means. Our referral information came with pictures, all of the basics about where he was found, on what date, his (estimated) birthday, his habits so far, and three pages of medical tests. Our "job" between now and when we decide to "accept" the match is to do all of our homework on him based on everything they know and that we now have.

He's negative for HIV, Hepatatis, and all the other big chronic diseases we'd be super concerned about (which is why he was even referred to us in the first place - we only requested a healthy boy) and all of his bloodwork looked good. His white blood cell count was high, so that's one key thing we had questions about.

Well, our doctor said that everything looks great, and that white blood cell counts that are high are very common, are basically a sign that he either had or has or is getting an infection. She said there's no direct correlations between elevated WBC counts and any chronic diseases. She also said that drinking cow's milk (which is his diet right now) can elevate a baby's WBC. Our agency already told us they are going to re-check him anyway, but this definitely made us feel better.

I asked a million questions to our dr, in my classic information-hungry fashion, and Radames just kind of sat there and stared at both of us. We got perscriptions for a bunch of immunizations we should get before going to Africa (Malaria, Typhoid, Hep A, Hep B, Yellow Fever and i can't even remember what else). We then left and went out side to process it all. I asked Radames how he was feeling about what she said and if he was feeling like we should approve the referral and make it a done deal. He just sort of looked at me innocently and semi-confused and said, "I don't even know what you people were talking about in there...he was already my son before we came here." That's why I love him! And he's right...sometimes facts aren't the best way to a make a decision. :)

January 26th, 2009 - The Call We've Been Waiting For

It's about 3:30PM when our business phone rings. I dont pay too much attention because I am thinking Wynne or Terrance will answer it. Wynne answers it and calls for me telling me it's Toni. I'm thinkng, "Who is Toni?" Wynne comes down to the basement with the phone and it's Toni, our adoption representative. She asks us how we are doing and beigins by saying, " Before I tell you anything, I have to get some legal stuff out of the way." She tells us the legal junk before she finally says, "Congratulations. You have a three and a half month old, healthy, baby boy waiting for you." Wynne and I just look t each other with a look of absolute confusion. Is this really happening? I am expecting this call to come on a Friday, not on a Monday afternoon. 3 boys had been referred on Friday, so we were up to bat. But we were not expecting it to come so soon. we thought we had to wait at least another month. If you would have seen us, all you would have seen was smiles as wide as they could humanly be on Wynne's and my face.

OMG! We're #1 Now!

So, on our weekly update yesterday, we found out that three healthy infant boys were matched this week! Unless our math skills are slipping...YIKES!...that means we're next on the list of families waiting for a boy! Woo Hoo! Oh my goodness, that means we could literally get a call any day now. As soon as the next healthy infant boy needs a family, we'd be next on the list! Stay tuned...

They Found It!

We got an email from our agency today that they forwarded from Ethiopia. They have our Visa 37 afterall! This is SO major. We had 4 days of inordinate stress, while trying to be professional at a conference in FL, only for them to say, "oh, we found it" as if it were no big deal. This is the biggest relief! Just the thought of how we would even begin to replicate the process made me want to start injecting IVF drugs asap.

My friend Stephanie told me to tell them to hurry up and give us our son before they misplace him. It made us laugh. Goodness knows we needed it. It is kind of hiliarous thinking about it. Especially when we got an email that said the wait time from match to travel is now looking like 4 months, because there only 2 judges in the entire country that hear adoption cases and that they are getting backlogged. Crazy!

Devastating News

So on the weekly update from our agency today, we not only heard that this is the fourth week that there were no referrals, but we also got an email from our program leader that said our Visa 37 wasn't at the consulate in Addis Ababa. Okay, so in regular people's lingo, that basically means that our dossier that we worked almost a year to complete and get every piece of paperwork approved (and that they'll open when we finally get matched)...that should have been sitting in Ethiopia for quite a while...is not even in the country!!! I got the email after 5pm while driving home from Ella's school that said "Ethiopia does not show you have a file there". By the time I got home, Radames was on hold with the National Visa Center already. We both just looked at each other and didn't say a word and almost burst into tears in each other's arms. All we could think about it is how we're 2 year in and the rug has been pulled out from under us and that we might have to start over again b/c some fool lost our dossier as it got cabled from DC to Ethiopia.

Radames had to leave to take Ella to her karate testing for a new belt. I stayed at home on hold only be told by the NVC that our file had been sent to the Ethiopian consulate months ago and that it wasn't their problem if they didn't have it...and if it weren't there that we'd have to have our agency call USCIS (which is the US citizenship and immigration service; the former INS) and that they would have to "re-request the visas be cabled to Ethiopia." CIS then has the NVC send it to Ethiopia. Now i have no idea what the hell a cable even is...let alone how you re-cable something that's an original, but whatever. All I knew is that there was nothing we could do about it until at least Tuesday (b/c Monday was MLK day) and we had to stew on this with no info for three days!

I missed Ella's karate testing, which devastated me, and we just spent the night sort of speechless and depressed. Then I started to think optimistically about it and realized that (1) the only reason they even know that it's not there is because our agency knows we're on deck and is now doubling checking that everything is where it should be and (2) at least we are finding this out now, rather than once we get our referral and are delayed while we get it resolved. If we can get to the root of it, we can get it resolved before the match even happens.

To make myself feel better, I wrote an email back to our agency and said, PLEASE tell the consulate to look under another name...Tyree or Rodriguez or Radames...or Tommie Tyree...any and all iterations of our name...and that maybe they've just overlooked it and PLEASE call CIS first thing on Tuesday morning to get it re-sent.

Please let our file re-appear! It's too much to handle.

No Referrals for Three Weeks :(

This week's update (from our adoption agency) was a bummer. For the third week in a row, there have been no referrals. :( We were hoping that we'd hear something, but no such luck. We're fine about it though, because we know it'll happen at the right time. And we're just being patient and using this chance to tell people and talk more to Ella about it. The past week we've spent a lot of time explaining that her little bother will be black. She's been pretty disillusioned about it, b/c she thinks her new baby brother should look like her, mommy or daddy. We're whipping out all the 4-year-old appropriate explanations of some pretty deep stuff - the concept of adoption, the concept of interracial adoption, and...well, we haven't gotten to the international/Ethiopian thing yet, bc her concept of geography is about as sophisticated as "I live in Tennessee...in the Ridges." She doesn't even know she lives in the US. And honestly, the geography lesson is a little less important than helping her understand we're still gonna love her even if she's not our only child and that some babies come from their mommy's tummy and some don't. Anyhoo...we've got plenty to do - from learning Amharic in our "spare time" to reading our cultural sensitivity manuals to continuing the dialogue with Ella to telling all our friends to getting a bunch of vaccinations and on and on. We're sure there will be more referals soon. The drought tends to be followed by a deluge, so it'll happen soon. The wait time for a boy referral is 6-9 months after being put on the list and we've already been on the list 6 1/2 months.

We Told Radames' Family

We went to New York last week, and we had a great time. We told Radames' parents and extended family and they couldn't have been happier for us. They were so sweet and congratulatory about the news. We also got to meet up with a lot of friends and tell them about our adoption plans. Everyone that we had time to tell was super sweet to us. It felt good to start to tell people, b/c it's making it seem more real. We'd just love to have people know before we send out a picture of kid and say "hey, here's our new baby!" That's kinda funny thinking about. :)

We Started to Tell the Family

Well, we're down to #4 on the boy list (23 overall) and the referral call could come any day. So... this Christmas/New Year's break is the time to tell our families and friends. I (WT) told most of my family on Saturday night at our little Christmas get-together, and they were less than excited. They pretty much said nothing and haven't brought it up since. Oh well...what can you do. Next on the docket is to tell Radames parents. Radames has no idea how they'll react. They'll probably have a million questions, b/c adoption isn't very common in Spanish culture.

Then, the next steps is to let all of our friends and extended families know. That'll be excting, because I'm sure they'll be supportive and sweet about it. We'd like to let people know before the referral comes in, which could be as early as the week of the 5th of Jan! yikes! We're counting the minutes! :)

Got The Call, But Not THE Call

So today at around 2:30PM, we recieved a call from our adoption agency representative. She was calling to make sure they had the right information regarding our placement. They have had 8 referrals already this week and it's not even Friday. So there could be more before they leave at noon tomorrow. She informed us that we are now #25 overall and #6 on the boys list and we are NUMBER ONE if they get a boy that is between 12-15 months old. The five families in front of us are all waiting for boys are only approved for 0-12-months-olds. (We are waiting for a boy 0-15 months.) SO we could get the BIG CALL as early as tomorrow. If we dont get it tomorrow, we more than likely will get it after the new year. Our rep told us that even their offices will be closed their offices in Ethiopia will be still getting referrals while they're on the holiday break. After our agency goes back to their offices on Jan. 5th, they will hopefully have a ton of referrals and we could be one of the lucky ones.

My head is already spinning because it is beginning to come to fruition. There will be another person with Ella, Wynne, and myself. Another person to add to our craziness. I am already thinking about changing diapers, making formula, setting a new bedtime, and hoping that Ella does not wake up when the kid wakes up in the middle of the night.

We told the Smarty Pants team

Last night we told the SP team at our holiday get-together here in TN, and they were super supportive and nice about the whole thing. We were sort of nervous, b/c we haven't really told anyone yet and this was a big "coming out" party for us. It made it all feel quite real, and we even shed a few tears as we were telling people - something we hadn't done yet. Ella started to dance around in her Big Sister t-shirt and fairie skirt and everyone gave us lots of big hugs and told us how happy they were for us. It was really nice. We stayed up for a while just sharing some of the details and gabbing out the process. It was quite a relief to let people know finally. We have the best staff ever! Now we just have to tell our families. Yikes! Who knows how that will go.

About to let the kid out of the bag

So, we've decided that when our staff comes in to town on the 15th-16th of Dec for an end of year get-together, we're gonna spill the beans. At that time, it'll be 5 months and 3+ weeks on the waiting list, and the wait time is 6-9 months - with boy requests leaning more to the six side. Yikes! We haven't figured out exactly how we'll tell everyone, but we're gonna do it. During the holidays we'll be telling our families and friends and co-workers. Oh, boy. I can only imagine. We're more nervous about our families, because they are going to have a harder time understanding. We're sure everyone will be happy for us, though. Well, we hope.

As of today, we're #40 on the overall list and #14 on the list of those not waiting for a girl or a sibling pair. Basically, there needs to be 13 other boys matched before we'd get our call. There were no referrals at all the last two weeks, so that hopefully means that a bunch will be coming in very soon. They tend to go in little waves - first a lot, then none, then alot again. There's been a 2-3 week "dry spell", so hopefully more will come in next week and we'll be below #10 when we tell people. We hate to tell them like 3 months before it even happens.

OMG! I'm so nervous about the thought of telling people. Radames has said that he wants me to bring it up at our company meeting...so I've gotta figure out a fun plan.

Referrals are Pouring In

So for the last few weeks, the referrals have finally been rolling in. We've really just tried to put the adoption out of our minds, but now as the matches are being made, we're realizing it might actually happen! Our new fingerprints have been sent to Addis Ababa and there shouldn't be any problems with our dossier. So, it almost feels too good to be true that we're all up to date and that the referrals have been coming in for the last three weeks in a row. On 9/15 we were number 67 on the list, and since then it looks like about 23 kids have been referred. Yikes! Does that mean we could really be down in the 40's now!? There were only 26 people waiting for boys 0-15 months in front of us on the list on July 29th, so it could be that there are only 15 or so now! Yikes! Could this really be happening!? I mean could we really be getting a call one day in December or January or February to say our son is ready for us??? It doesn't even feel real right now. It's crazy to even think about it. But so exciting that things are moving along again, that's for sure.

Finally, some referrals

Well, there were finally some new referrals last week. On Friday we were so happy to read that five new kids - 4 girls and 1 boy - were being referred. it has been 9 weeks since there had been any referrals, and, needless to say, we were not feeling so hot about the crazy delays in referrals. The courts were closed for the rainy season, but referrals were still supposed to be happening and they weren't. We're just so happy that things are picking back up. If my math is right, that brings us down to #62 overall and #26 on the boy list. Gosh, if there is a boy refferal or two each week, MAYBE we'll finally get matched 13 weeks from now. Jeez Louise, has it really been over a year and a half that we've been waiting to get a kid from a country that has millions of orphans dying from starvation every day!? It just seems so ridiculous. It's hard to even have any hope, given all the craziness that has gone on. I don't think it'll ever be real into he's in our arms.

70 and counting

Today our social worker let us know we were #70 on the overall list and #27 on the list of people waiting for a boy 0-15 months old. Yipee. It's getting closer. (and pretty good considering we were #280 something on the waiting list for Vietnam).

We though we'd tell people when we first got on the waiting list, but it's been a month since that happened and we haven't moved too far down the list yet, so we're still just holding out a bit more. Maybe once we're number 5 or 10 on the list and the call could come any minute, we'll officially let the kitty out of the bag. :)

A close call

Today our agency sent us an email notification that they had lost their Hague Accreditation. Yikes! That's basically the international license that countries use to say "yes, we'll agree to guidelines set out the Hague Treaty about how we'll handle children and international adoptions." For a long, convoluted reason that had something to do with some admins not following the proper notary procedures, the agencies accreditation wasn't renewed. Obviously that sent us into a tizzy, b/c no accreditation means no adoptions.

The good news is that Ethiopia is actually a country that doesn't abide by the Hague guidelines, and the agency's ability to continue adoptions from Ethiopia isn't in any way affected. That's a major relief, since we've already been waiting so long, and we already went through the Vietnamese drama that meant we needed to switch countries.

Hopefully, everything will be fine and our little son will be home with us soon. Will this ever end!? (or should i say, begin...)